Thoughts of a Doubting Christian ✓

What is a Christian?

You might think that this would be an easy question to answer, but it isn't. Different people have different ways of defining who or what a Christian is.

For me, the definition is simple: a Christian is one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ. Maybe this is because I disagree with most Christian doctrine, but in my humble opinion, following Jesus's teachings of love and service to others is all you need to be Christian. (After all, Christian literally means "follower of Christ.")

However, many others disagree. They think that it isn't enough to follow Jesus's teachings; you must also believe in the entirety of Christian doctrine, regard the Bible as the literal inerrant Word of God, and go to church regularly (hence why I say that I'm not Christian in the way that most devout US Christians would define it).

It's not a surprise that the Christian community is fractured on how to define a Christian. The Christian community has been divided from almost the very beginning. Most of the disputes revolved around the divinity of Jesus or the nature of the Holy Trinity (both of which I'll go over in other chapters). In the fourth century, the Nicene Creed established a set of "correct" Christian beliefs and rejected all others as heresy. However, dissent and divisions continued to resurface, most notably when the Roman Catholic Church and Eastern Orthodoxy split in 1054 CE, and again when Protestants broke off from the Catholic Church in 1517. But don't think that it's all over and that the Christian community is now a unified body — splits continue to happen to this day, which is why there are so many denominations out there.

Definitions of Christian abound. Here are just a few I could find online:

~ A person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of Christ

~ Anyone, man, woman, or child, who trusts in Jesus Christ as his or her Savior and Lord and who strives to follow Him in every area of life

~ A person who has put faith and trust in the person and work of Jesus Christ, including His death on the cross as payment for sins and His resurrection on the third day

~ Those who: 1) worship in the Spirit of God, 2) glory in Christ, and 3) put no confidence in the flesh

~ Someone who is an active follower and imitator of Jesus, who has surrendered his or her life, been baptized, and has received the Holy Spirit

As you can see, there are lots of different definitions, and they tend to vary based on one's denomination. For most evangelicals and conservative Protestants, the definition of a Christian is based on one's salvation and subscription to sola fide, i.e. the idea that faith alone is what saves you, not good works. For Catholics, the definition is centered on baptism, along with believing "the essentials of Christian faith," like the Apostles' Creed. However, as I said before, each group has its own definition of who or what a Christian is, which is one of the reasons why you can't go anywhere on the Internet without running into squabbles between two or more Christians arguing over definitions, doctrines, or anything to do with the Bible. (The seemingly endless variations of religious beliefs, whether Christian or otherwise, will also be the subject of a future chapter.)

I used to use a definition closer to that of the evangelical Protestant, namely that a Christian is someone who has been "saved" by believing in Jesus's sacrifice for our sins, that Jesus is both fully human and fully divine, and that only Christians can get to Heaven. This definition eroded away slowly throughout high school, and then I hit college and it washed away completely in only a few months.

Suddenly, I was bombarded with a myriad of other views from peers and professors alike, and from Jews, Hindus, atheists, agnostics, and yes, other Christians. I had to come to terms with my sexuality and try to fit that in with my faith, while also studying for exams and not having a nervous breakdown from all of the stress. And once I started doing more research in order to write Christian and an Ally (and also in an attempt to salvage my faith), it dawned on me just how little I knew about my own religion outside of what I had been taught by Christian websites, books, and leaders.

I was amazed. How come I had never thought to question when the Bible's books had been written or by whom? How come I hadn't ever tried to understand the Holy Trinity, or questioned Jesus's divinity, or wondered about possible translation errors in Scripture? How come I had never questioned the presence of God, or why evil exists, or why bad things happen to good people, or how we're supposed to the pick the "right" religion out of thousands? And since I've always believed in evolution, how come I had never wondered about the concept of Adam and Eve, or the historical accuracy of the Jews' exodus from Egypt, to give just two examples?

A whole new world was opened up to me through my doubts and curiosity, although I was scared to explore it. In a way, I still am. If nothing else, my turmoil has showed me just how ingrained religious doctrine can be. Christians are taught from a young age that Christianity is the sole bearer of Truth in this world, that questioning too much is bad, that doubt is a sign of weak faith, and that they should be on the alert for Satan trying to lead them astray. Is it any wonder I'm still struggling to let go of Christianity?

Eventually I realized that I needed to mend my definition, for while I no longer agreed with most "fundamental" doctrines, I still considered myself Christian. Hence, follower of Christ or one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ seemed to fit me a little better.

Now, I'm not so sure. Ironically enough, my interest in reading the Bible and researching the history of Christianity has increased exponentially since I left my more "devout" days behind. Back then, I was worried that I would encounter stumbling blocks to my faith that would make me question or reject Christianity altogether. But now I realize that if your belief system is so fragile that doing more research on it would make it crumble, maybe you should question why you believe it in the first place.

What do you guys think? What is your definition of a Christian, and how has that changed over your lifetime? If you're not Christian, what does being a Christian mean to you, and why do you believe what you do about religion?