Thoughts of a Doubting Christian ✓

Myths about Pansexuality

I want to tackle some misconceptions about pansexuality in this chapter, since many people are unfamiliar with it and/or misinformed about what it means.

Definition of pansexual, according Merriam-Webster: of, relating to, or characterized by sexual desire or attraction that is not limited to people of a particular gender identity or sexual orientation.

In other words, gender identity is not the most important factor of attraction for somebody who identifies as pansexual. Another way to say it is "gender-blind." With this in mind, let us jump right into the first, and most common, myth about pansexuality:

Myth #1: Pansexual people are attracted to everyone.

This is completely false. Think about it logically: straight people aren't attracted to every opposite-sex person they meet, right? They are only attracted to a select few of the billions of opposite-sex people on this planet. The same is true for every other member of the LGBTQ+ community. Just because pansexual people are capable of being attracted to any gender identity doesn't mean that they're attracted to everyone! That would be ridiculous and, quite frankly, exhausting.

Myth #2: Pansexual people are attracted to everything.

Seriously? Where do people come up with this stuff?

Someone who is pansexual is capable of being attracted to people of any gender; this does not include inanimate objects or animals. Attraction to objects is called "objectophilia," while attraction to animals is called "zoophilia." Both are defined as sexual disorders by the American Psychiatric Association. On the other hand, pansexuality is a legitimate sexuality. People who are pansexual are only attracted to other people.

Myth #3: Pansexual people are attracted to all genders equally.

False. Sure, some pansexual people may be, but pansexuality is a spectrum, just like every other sexuality. For example, the majority of my attractions have been to the opposite-sex (hence why I thought I was straight for so many years), followed by same-sex, transgender, intersex, and genderqueer people. But sexuality is fluid, so sometimes I am attracted to the same-sex more, or to androgynous people, or the opposite-sex, etc. Sexuality is also a spectrum, so people will have varying levels of attraction to each gender. There's no right or wrong way to be pan — you just love who you love!

Myth #4: Pansexual people are unusually sexually promiscuous.

This is another false statement. Being pansexual doesn't make you any more or less prone to sexual promiscuity than the general population. In fact, I didn't have my first kiss until college. I don't believe in one-night stands, and I don't have a large sex drive. If pansexual people were required to be sexually promiscuous, then I'd be failing miserably! The point is that pansexual people aren't any more or less sexually active or desirous than anyone else; we have the same natural variation of behavior as the rest of the population.

(And yes, this is backed up by scientific evidence! A recent study found that straight/gay men and straight/gay women all had an average of 6 sexual partners. People who are LGBTQ+ are not any different than heterosexual people when it comes to partners, except when it comes to gender. :))

Myth #5: Pansexual people are just greedy and want to sleep with everyone.

This connects to Myth #4. Pansexual people aren't "greedy," sex-hungry, or inherently sexually promiscuous. They have the same natural variation of sexual behavior as the rest of the population. They don't identify as pansexual because they want to sleep with everyone. They identify as pan because they don't see gender as the most important characteristic of attraction. Yes, it really is as simple as that!

Myth #6: Pansexual people don't really exist.

Yes, I am just a figment of your imagination. . . . You saw nothing. . . . Shh. . . .

All joking aside, this myth comes from two different trains of thought. The first, and most common, is the idea that only two genders exist, which erases pansexuality completely. I think this idea stems from a confusion about the difference between "sex" and "gender," so let's define them real quick:

Sex refers to the biological differences between people, such as chromosomes, hormonal profiles, and internal/external reproductive organs. The sexes are typically denoted as "male" and "female," but many intersex people don't fit neatly into either category. For example, how would you classify someone who has both male and female reproductive organs?

Gender refers to your identity of feeling male, female, or neither/something else altogether. Most people identify with the gender that aligns with their birth sex (cisgender), but some people feel as though they were born in the wrong body (transgender), and others don't identify as male or female at all (non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, etc.)

I think of biological sex as a continuum, with male on one end, female on the other, and the variations of intersex in between. Gender is more complicated and can't necessarily be narrowed down into a binary or even a spectrum. Hence, where pansexuality comes in — someone who is pansexual doesn't care about labels or biological/gender differences. They just care about the person!

Myth #7: Pansexual people are really just bisexual people who want to be special.

This connects to Myth #6. Pansexual people are not bisexual people with an ego problem! Bisexuality is the attraction to two (or more) genders, and it can vary from person to person. But pansexuality is attraction regardless of gender. Sure, bi- and pansexuality have a lot of overlap, but they aren't the same thing. Bisexuality means two or more, pansexuality means all! We can all agree that enjoying two, three, or even eight pieces of pie is different than enjoying the entire pie, right? (I'm sorry, that's a really bad analogy 😅 Special props to someone who can come up with a better one!)

Have a myth I didn't think of, or a question about the LGBTQ+ community you want me to answer? Let me know in the comments!