My Babies Daddy

Chapter 8

Emmara's P.O.V

I have so many emotions cloudy my mind by the time I get home. The entire ride home I couldn't focus on the road. I shot Ramona a text telling her the game got over later than planned, so I would be over to pick up Alexia at 9:00 in the morning. She told me she was just about to text me and let me know that Alexia fell asleep, so, if I wouldn't mind, just letting her stay the night. 

Once I get that handled I walk down the hallway, and stop when I get to the door with a princess crown on it. I touch the name plate gingerly before falling to my knees and bursting out into tears. 

If I had let Andy into Alexia's life sooner, she would have felt a bit normal. It is bad enough that her mom is so young, but not having a dad. Now, that played a toll. Looking back I can see it. All those Daddy Daughter Days at daycare. I am not crying because I lost something, I am crying because MY DAUGHTER lost a lot. 

"I am the worst mother ever.." I whisper to myself over and over again. 

"I AM THE WORST MOTHER EVER!!" It is no longer a whisper, but a scream. 

By now, I am crying hysterically. Not being able to stop, I start hyperventilating. My anxiety starts to kick in and before I know it, I am having a full out anxiety attack right there in my own god damn hallway. 

I don't realize it till I am swept up and cradled into someones chest. I try to rip from their grasp, but it's no use. I still don't know who is holding me until I turn around and look them dead in the eyes. 

As soon as I see who it is, I grab their neck and position myself so each one of my legs are on either side of them. I tuck my head into their neck. 

"Shhhh, what's wrong?" My twin brother coos in my left ear. 

I don't say anything, I just break down. At this point I have no barriers up at all. My heart is clenching with pain. My crying became hysterical. 

I let go of Johnathon when he asks me another time, what is wrong. I walk to my room, tears pouring out of my eyes as if they were running away from my tear ducks. 

I shut my door and lock it. Johnathon is, of course, right outside banging. He tells me to open the door. 

I manage to say, "I am going to be okay. I have had a long day, and just want to sleep. I am sorry Johnathon, I love you. I will call you tomorrow. Please leave." 

"What!? I am not going to leave you in the state you are in!"

"I am going to go to bed, you need to leave. I want to be alone." 

10, 20, 30 seconds go by before I hear a sigh. 

"Fine, but you have to PROMISE to call me in the morning, AND tell me what is wrong. Okay?" 

I tell him of course. I hold back the sob that is dying to escape from my mouth, until I hear the door close. As soon as I know he is out of the house, I collapse on my floor, and burst into strained tears and horrid sobs. 

My anxiety kicks back in, and there I am, on my floor. The sobs become choked, coming out more like gasps. I try to catch my breath, or calm down, but it is no use. I sit there having a full blown anxiety attack in the middle of my bedroom. 

Before I know it, I black out......

Hey y'all!! I have missed you all so much!!! So, I know it is a short chapter! Please, don't kill me, it is my birthday. I just wanted to whip something up for y'all this morning. I really hope you guys enjoy. I have decided for this year, starting today, I am going to post a chapter a week. I am going to work on it all week, and make sure that it is the best quality for the best people! Anyways, yes, It is my birthday!!! I am officially 15. Whoop!!! So, next Wednesday at, let's say, 7:00 a.m. you should have a new chapter from me!! Okay, now I love all of you!! Can't wait till next time!!! ;-3