Trust Me | MxM | BDSM

18. Collared

Four nights I've slept curled up in the dog's basket, and half the time I've woken up stretched out on the hard parquet floor, only to crawl back into my basket. I've slept just as good as I do elsewhere, which doesn't say much because there's no place I can't sleep, and also no place where the nightmares don't find me.

So when I'm shaken awake at the shoulders, I startle with a desperate scream that allows the tears into my mouth, tasting salty and afraid. My fists fly around in an attempt to shake the attacker off, but even when they connect and the man stumbles away with a groan, I don't snap out of it.

I sit up with a start, staring at my throbbing fingers while I pant heavily as if I'd been about to suffocate. With wide eyes, I stare at the shape of the man who's still holding a hand in front of his face, clutching his nose. He's only wearing briefs.

I curse when I recognize Gavrilo.

"Are you alright?" he asks and I frown confused. I might be covered in sweat and tears, but he's the one who just got acquainted with my fist. I curse again when my mind finally catches on to how much I just screwed up - all because I'm so screwed up myself.

"I'm sorry, Master Kemp," I say shakily, already hurrying to my feet so I can get the hell out. "I'm sorry. I'll be in my room."

"No!" He puts his other hand up to enforce his words. When I keep moving towards the door, he steps in my way. "Mike, it's alright. You were having a nightmare. I only wanted to help."

I have no idea why he's apologizing and explaining himself here. As his submissive, there is no excuse for me to hit him, no matter what.

"Mike, I'm not angry with you or anything, really. I shouldn't have touched you. I'm sorry I scared you."

"I shouldn't have hit you," I whisper apprehensively, somehow still afraid that he might throw me out. Then I'd have to break it to my father that all the work has been for nothing. "Please, I'll go back to my room. Just please don't kick me out."

"Mike." He grabs my shoulders firmly and I flinch. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, Master Kemp," I reply automatically. He sighs before I can even finish the sentence.

"You're really a shitty liar." He's wrong about that. "I shouldn't have just shaken you awake. I know you're always having nightmares, and I though I could help, but I was obviously wrong. You're always tossing and turning like mad, so I should've expected that you might, well, hit me."

He snorts, and I have no idea how he can find that amusing.

"I'm really sorry, I-"

"Mike, stop. It's alright, okay? You did nothing wrong." He pauses briefly. "Say it."

"What?"

"Say I did nothing wrong."

"You did nothing wrong."

Gavrilo groans. "No, you did nothing wrong. Doesn't matter. You should go back to bed."

"I'm sorry, Master Kemp."

"Mike, bed."

I scurry off towards my basket and curl up inside, cuddling a pillow. I watch his legs as he steps around the bed to follow me. He crouches down, then ruffles my hair affectionately. The tender touch pulls at my heavy heart.

"I'm not just going to end our relationship because of something like this. Do you understand?"

His hand stills.

"Yes, Master Kemp." But apparently, I've taken a second too long to answer because he gets up with an annoyed sigh. It's a bit colder down here all of a sudden. I stare it his unmoving feet, then my eyes widen when I hear the clinking of metal chains.

"On your knees."

I comply immediately, my heart racing in dreadful anticipation. I don't know what he's going to do, and if I want him to do it or not. I take a deep breath while adjusting the positioning of my fingers that rest on my thighs.

"Honestly, I think this is a little too early. It's just a play thing, but really, you're not-" He breaks off. "Anyway, doesn't matter now. Mike, I want you to know that I'm not just going to toss you aside. You're in my care now, and I take that seriously."

The spikes fly past my vision before finding their way onto my skin. I shiver when I feel them press further into my muscles while Gavrilo fixes the collar. He hums thoughtfully, then gives the metal a tentative tuck. I flinch at the sharp pain, but my wincing carries the hint of a moan while blood rushes between my legs.

"Now get some sleep," he murmurs and pets my head one last time before heading back to bed. He draws the curtain half-way closed to hide his upper body, and I curl up as well. It's difficult to find a position where the spikes are not piercing my skin, but somehow, their touch is a firm reminder of his words.

My fingers find the metal on their own. It's warm from my body heat. A longing stirs inside my chest and I cast a glance in Gavrilo's direction. No one's ever said they'd take care of me this passionately since Mom died - and that's been a good twenty years. I shake my head at my sentimentality and push all thoughts of the comparison aside.

I'm here because this man is a bad person, and I will play my part in getting rid of him.