Trust Me | MxM | BDSM

25. Feelings

Gavrilo stretches with a groan and leisurely strolls into the kitchen while I follow a couple feet behind, watching his strong shoulders in awe and fright alike. I'm in too deep, but I don't know how to pull myself out - and also, I kind of don't want to. Just once in my life, I want to feel like I belong. I want to feel the calmness of safety, and that's what Gavrilo is providing me with.

"You can sit down. I'll make some breakfast," he says without looking at me, then roams the fridge. I stare at the open plan kitchen, uncertain what to do. There's a couple of bar stools across the counter where he's putting down eggs and bacon, and then there's also the breakfast table next to the large window front. My gaze travels back to Gavrilo's hands that are busy separating the eggs. The mere sight of him sparks the desire to throw myself at his feet, patiently yet eagerly waiting for his approval.

He looks up when I slowly walk over to him, though I cast my eyes down so I won't accidentally meet his gaze. His hand cups my cheek so he can run a thumb across it while he leans in, planting a kiss onto my cheek.

He stays close, gently whispering: "Everything okay?"

"Yes, Master Kemp," I reply just as quietly and nod. "I would just like to sit next to you. If- if that would be alright. With you, Master Kemp."

My chest constricts further with every word, robbing me of the air I need to make sounds. I lick my lips, awaiting his answer or any sign of his approval, afraid that he might send me away to sit on a chair. He chuckles, and the mere sound lifts a weight off my heart.

"I'd love you to." 

He ruffles my hair before giving my cheek another peck, then returns his attention to making breakfast. I smile stupidly and kneel down close to him, butt resting on my heels and hands carefully placed on my thighs. His legs brush against me every now and then, but instead of arousing me, the touch simply makes me more comfortable. When he starts playing with my hair absentmindedly, I relax my posture a little and lean into the touch, eyes closed.

"You're such a good boy, Mike," he murmurs.

I agree with a hum. "Thank you, Master Kemp."

Something about that reply must have been funny because he chuckles yet again. I don't mind, though. Being funny in his eyes, that is. As long as he's happy with me, I think I can be content.

"Would you grab some plates? Bottom drawer to the left behind you."

"Of course, Master Kemp," I chirp happily. My eyes widen at the sound of my own voice, and I'm on my feet with a start as a blush threatens to form on my cheeks. I'm usually considered to be really manly, especially with my strong built. Yet I sounded awfully boyish just then, and totally gay.

No, vulnerable.

My eyes sting, and I grab the plates. I stare at the floor when I make my way over to the table, keeping my eyes wide open to dry out the tears. My heartbeat is thunderous in my chest, yet Gavrilo doesn't seem to notice. He turns on the radio, whistling along to some girly pop song before he finishes the food.

"Cutlery's above the plates," he tells me so I quickly grab two knives and forks and place them next to the plates, glad to have something to occupy myself with. Anything's better than to think about what the hell I'm doing here, and how I can feel like this and plan to betray him at the same time.

I rub my face with a groan. Suddenly, Gavrilo's arms wrap around me from behind. He nuzzles his nose between my shoulder blades.

"You sure everything's okay?"

I sigh, leaning back against him. "I'm just a little bit on edge, Master Kemp."

"I'm sorry. Is it because I'm depriving you of your workout? I- really, I didn't think it would that big of an issue. I'm sorry. You were so relaxed when you woke up, I thought maybe this would be alright."

"You- you don't- you don't need to apologize, Master. I love spending time with you like this." Another blush creeps up my cheeks, causing my ears to burn. 

He chuckles and rubs his nose across my skin. "That's good to know. But really, if it helps, you should go for a run, okay? And next time, just tell me when I'm being too overbearing."

"Okay. After breakfast?"

He pulls away from me, gently slapping my ass. I flinch in surprise.

"After breakfast," he agrees, then pulls back a chair for me to sit down. Following the invitation, I wonder what it would be like if I were actually his submissive - and nothing else.