Lo Recuerdo Todo (Oscar Diaz/ OMB)

19.

I stood at the nail polish rack, hoping something pretty would pop out at me...
"I'm gonna do red." Monse grabbed the classic cherry red and walked with her nail tech to a pedi chair that was already prepped for her.
I continued looking and reached for a white just Kehlani did the same.
"Great minds." I narrowed my eyes, glaring at her playfully.
"Think alike." She did the same and yanked it from my hand in a swift movement.
I rolled my eyes turning to my nail tech.
"I'm going to do white too." I pointed to Kehlani and they nodded, leading me to our chairs.
Upon arrival I checked my phone quickly seeing Marcus replied with an emoji and stuck it under my leg for no more distractions.
"So, who's got something good?"
"Not me." Monse shrugged, looking at Kehlani beside her.
"Works been good? Trevor, the cook is really funny, we were roasting each other all last shift." Kehlani smirked, shaking her head not giving either of us eye contact.
"Trevor? Blonde hair, brown eyes?" I tried to put a face to the name, not that we had a lot of employees but I forget the ones I hired...
"You don't know your own employee?" Monse snapped with laughter, throwing her head back. I rolled my eyes chuckling and nodding.
"Yes, blonde hair, brown eyes." Kehlani dished, giving me a soft pleasant smile.
"He's funny like- cousin funny, or funny like boyfriend funny?" Monse pressed for clarification, being nosey enough for the both of us.
Kehlani looked at me as her cheeks flushed, then looked away.
"I don't know, I mean, he lives here..." she shrugs.
"That doesn't mean you can't..." I reached over and shoved her arm slightly.
She laughed, rolling her eyes and brushing it off.
I sat back and enjoyed before I heard snapping and looked to see Monse, leaning over in her chair.
"The details, now."
"Ugh." I grunted, doing the same. "The other night I just needed some space, I was really in my head and I needed an escape and for some reason my first thought was Oscar." I pinched my eyes shut feeling guilty. "So we just literally fell asleep in each other's arms and talked and it was really nice." I admit, looking back at my nail lady and smiled seeing her fully invested in my story. "Then Cesar woke us us by pounding in the front door because someone had been shot so he made a point to leave as quickly as possible. But it made me realize that I couldn't do that." I made it short and they both looked at me wanting more.
"Couldn't do what?" Monse pressed and Kehlani nodded.
"That. I couldn't do the waiting, I couldn't go to bed at night not knowing whether he was coming home safe the next morning." I shrugged, sitting up straighter and tucking my baby hairs behind my ears. "That night I was genuinely thinking about giving it all up for him." I said quietly, hearing both of them gasp.
"Mi?" Kehlani whispered and I nodded.
"It was real for me laying in his arms... saying I love you. It was real for me falling asleep with him, I thought it could be different, but waking up to that- it reminded me some things can't change." I admit for the first really believing it.
"All this time I was lying, saying it was nothing... but it wasn't, I just never knew to what extent..." I turned to look at them again. "If it doesn't feel right, you have to leave as soon as possible." I told them and they both blinked at me, unspeaking. "Leaving as soon as you know it's not working will hurt less in the long run."
"How do you know it's over, and it's not worth a fight?" Monse asked, almost in a whisper.
"When the issue you didn't think was that big of a deal becomes that big of a deal." I smirked at her seeing conflict in her face, and she smirked back.
"Okay, so what's the Marcus thing? How did you move on like that?"
"I knew in my heart it was over, I can't go back to him, but Marcus was there to be my shoulder to cry on."
"And?" Kehlani spun her wrist to motion for more details.
"And?" I repeated confused.
"And is Marcus someone you would give it all up for?" She pressed, wiggling her neck for emphasis.
I looked between them for a moment, contemplating my answer for the first time. For real.
I thought about a life with Oscar, a family, a house- I went as far as to think about changing his name and running away...
But with Marcus, I thought about an apartment, and that was only after he offered to let me move in with him and go to school here. But that doesn't mean I couldn't give it up for him.
"I'm not sure." I divulge and they both look beyond me wide eyes as a bouquet of flowers and balloons is brought from the front of the store towards us.
"Uh, Miss. Naomi?" The woman asked, smiling widely as all of our technicians stopped and watched just the same.
"That's me." I answered, slightly embarrassed.
"These are from your boyfriend, Marcus, he paid for you ladies to have deluxe pedis, and gel manicures when you're done with your pedicure." She handed me the bouquet and I smiled nodding.
"Oh, uhh, thank you." I praised and she bowed slightly walking away.
I looked at my technician, then the girls and all 3 of them were slack jawed in awe.
"May I?" I asked, motioning to set it on the chair beside me and she nodded, mouth still wide.
"Naomi." Kehlani shook her head, sitting back sucking her teeth.
"I don't know." I whined and Monse sat forward.
"Girl, you better figure out your feelings." She checked me and I nodded, defeated.
"But right after these pedis and manis." Kehlani brushes her hand in a shoeing motion, putting off my inevitable task.
I smiled, giving a small laugh before looking at the seat beside me.
A dozen red roses, and a balloon shaped like a crown, and one shaped like the pink sparkle heart emoji... my favorite heart emoji...
I'm in deep.

***

I pulled into the driveway as Monse and Kehlani quickly piled our going to the boys who were on the porch and I waited a moment.
Giving myself some time to breathe.
All day I felt as though I was holding my breath.
Trying to give them something but knowing I had nothing to give them.
On top of it, I was confused- shocked... embarrassed even with that grand gesture from Marcus.
As I'm confessing my feelings for Oscar I receive a gift out of love from the other man...
I shivered, going to grab my door.
I slowly walked inside, the flowers and balloons in hand as I walked in.
"Naomi." Jamal shrieked, obviously just being filled in.
"Hey." I tipped the vase to him and he wiggled his eyebrows to me.
"Hey, Mi, can we talk?" Tyus suggested from the kitchen and I nodded, walking to him.
"What's up, Ty?" I set the flowers in the center of the island, sitting next to him at the kitchen table.
"I need to talk to you about Marcus."
"Okay." I said flatly, honestly over the subject.
"He's in love with you, Mi." He began and I rolled my eyes.
"Ty, I don't wanna-" pushing myself up before he began to talk anyways, pressuring me to sit back down and listen.
"When I went to help him with his server he asked me about you and Oscar, and I said I don't know what's going on, so he told me he thinks he loves you... Then he told me no, he is in love with you. And asked me what you thought of him." He stopped, not really sure if I wanted to listen.
"And? What did you say?" I pressed, trying to get an idea of their conversation around how he-said-she-said Tyus was making it.
"I said you brushed off these typa topics with us usually, but I could tell that you liked you get all giddy and smiley and shit." Tyus shrugged and I rolled my eyes again, hearing him be so sweet made me smile.
"And?" I pressured him for more and he kissed his teeth, uncomfortable with his personal we were getting on this topic.
"And he said he's not giving up this fight, he said he wants to win."
I sighed, looking at the table...
"So, before I try to secure that job you wanna break the news to him? Let him down easy though, so I can go in there be like 'yo, Naomi crazy' and secure that bag." He nodded as if his plan was genius, becoming more insensitive by the minute.
"I'm not breaking up with Marcus." I scrunched my eyebrows confused.
"Oh, perfect! That job is totally mine."
"Ty." I shook my head, scrunched eyebrows and a look of disgust.
"Sorry, this opportunity is huge for me! I'll see what I can do to start here second semester and get a degree while working with one of the biggest app producers in the game right now." He explained, gaining my sympathy.
"Ty, Marcus wouldn't deny you an opportunity because he's in love with me."
"You never know..." he pressured and I pinched the bridge of my nose conflicted.