Lo Recuerdo Todo (Oscar Diaz/ OMB)

20.

"I'll see you later." I waved at Marcus who was walking down the front steps, dropping me off after our movie date.
He turned around abruptly and jogged up to me.
"One more kiss, just one." He begged and I gave in. His hand scooping me up, my feet off the floor in the doorway of the Turners house.
"Just one." I said between pecks, laughing. He set me down, my arms around his waist now, with his hands on either of my cheeks.
"Just one." He whispered back before pressing his lips to mine firmly, his thumb stroking my cheek before pulling away. "You're irresistible." He kisses the top of my head, straightening up and stepping back.
"You betta stop." I giggled, swatting his chest.
"Okay, I'll go." He rolled his eyes, jogging off the porch to his car.
I waited in the doorway until he was inside his car and driving off, shutting to door behind me when I got inside.
I locked the door and sat down on the couch, turning on the tv.
I tuned into local news for a moment, going over recaps of the news at 5, and now onto the weather.
I was scrolling through Instagram, and twitter, and hopped on facebook for a moment before zoning our completely not paying attention at that moment.
I laid my head back and stared at the ceiling.
The house was quiet.
Almost, eerily so...
It's been about 2 weeks- eh, maybe more like a week and a half since I've seen Oscar, and been steadily seeing Marcus.
Tyus isn't home much, he spends a lot of time at Marcus' office, or he's at the restaurant. Jamal has been looking into schools, getting credits worked out, and I've been revising his essays all along the way. Kehlani and Monse are nearly attached at the hip, either here, or Monses but rarely alone. Jasmine and Ruby stop by with the crew sometimes when Jamal is home, and Cesar- well, who knows where he is.
But for me, it's either me by myself, or Marcus... and I can't tell if I love it either way...
Marcus means a lot to me, more than I excepted honestly, but sometimes it's exhausting keeping up this charade- because as much as I enjoy our time and relationship, I know that in the end I'm doing it for the furthering of Tyus' career.
It sounds scumy- I know, but I want this for Tyus and it's not like Marcus is bad- he's just... not for me. I think as much as I wanted him to be the one, I know, and maybe even he does that it's just not true.
I begin flipping through the channels, snapping back to reality and settling on E! To watch some reality tv, to fill the silence.

***

I opened my eyes wide, adjusting to the dark before sitting up. I slumped forward rubbing my eyes searching for my phone beside me on the cushion. I opened it up and looked at the screen seeing a text from Marcus.

Can you come over, we have to talk...

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly for a moment, my eyes assimilate to the screen.
I nodded, pushing myself up and making my way through the house. I flipped on my flashlight on my phone and saw everyone's shoes at the door and smiled, going to my room.
I changed into my sweatpants and tank top before going to Jamal's room and knocking on the door before opening it slowly.
"Hey, I'm heading out." I tell him, hearing him grunt in response. "Good night, I'll see you tomorrow." I assure, closing the door behind me before going out to my car. I began to pull out of the driveway seeing a car block my path.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes tightly before exiting my car.
"Hey, mi, where you goin so late at night?" Cesar was leaned out of that god damn emerald again.
"To my boyfriends, Cesar, what do you want?" I countered, trying to give him the cold shoulder.
"Oscars, busy tonight actually, you can probably head back in for the night." He winked, earning a laugh from driver.
"Funny." I smirk, folding my arms over my chest. "Isn't it past your bedtime, squirt?" I arched a brow seeing his jaw tense.
"Funny." He repeated, glaring at me.
"I'm gonna go." I turned around, going to my car and by the time I was sitting in my drivers seat the car was gone.
It took 15 minutes to get to his house, and when I pulled up it appeared that all the lights were on, which is odd for it being 2:30 AM.
I walked up and rang the doorbell, hearing him immediately start walking through the house. He made it into view as he came closer and he gave a small smile as he neared the door.
He opened the door wide and immediately pulled me into his chest and began to sob slightly. I ran my hand up and down his back for a moment before he pulled back, looking down at me.
I tried to give him a reassuring, empathetic smile as he finally made eye contact.
"I have to tell you something." He finally spoke, his voice weak and hoarse as he lead me into his house. He ended up on his couch, sitting next to each other.
"I'm ready to listen." I grabbed his hand.
"We don't really talk about my family, and I'm sorry I didn't let you in, but I think we need to talk about it."
"Okay." I agree, giving him my full attention. His use of the word need made my stomach knot.
"I'll start with my parents... they're both dead." He blurted, and my heart dropped to the lowest point in my stomach.
"Marcus..."
"My father killed my mom, and then killed himself when we were young." He started nonchalant, his thumb running over the top of my hand to comfort me.
I was shocked, and slack jawed for what felt like an eternity before muttering:
"We?"
"Me and my brother." He answered, and my brows knit together, feeling like the worst for not even knowing.
"You have a brother?" I whispered, shock still very present in my system as he nodded.
"He's 4 years younger than me, and all my life I've been looking after him..." he explained and I nodded, just letting him speak- but more than that I was literally speechless. "But he's gettin worse."
"Worse?"
"He's been in and out of the hospital his whole life because of the trauma my father inflicted on us with the abuse."
"Marcus, you were abused too?" I brought my hand to his cheek, stroking it gently.
He nodded, not dwelling on him too much.
"About 2 years ago I found this really nice home, super accommodating for him and downtown. He made friends, even had a girlfriend, but we always knew there was a small possibility that his health could decline at any moment.
"Before he killed my mom and himself, he beat me and AJ nearly to death, he broke most of my ribs, luckily nothing fatal, but AJ was almost gone."
"Marc." I squeaked, my eyes filled entirely with tears I was so desperate to not let fall.
"Anyways," he tried to brush it off, continuing, "AJ has recovered to about 85%, he has spells of amnesia, narcoleptic tendencies like sleep attacks, and cataplexy where he loses muscle tone but it's nothing we couldn't overcome, but yesterday he fell into a coma, and this has happened before, we usually give it 24 hours before it's serious, but we're going on 30 and-" he choked up, immediately breaking down and falling into me. I laid back on the couch and he curled up into me as he laid in silence.
I was rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head wanting to make him feel better but I was just as much of a mess as his with my silent sobs and constant running nose.
"Marcus." I start, wanting to make sure he knew I was here for him. "We're gonna get through this. He's a miracle, a stupid coma wont take a fighter like that out." I encouraged and he nodded, I could feel the fabric of my shirt now wet from his tears shift along my torso.
"I can't go alone, but I have to go back I need to see him."
"I'll go, baby, whenever... I'm here." I squeeze the top of his shoulder in reassurance as he turned to me, our eyes locking.
"I don't wanna pressure you, but I really need someone I care about here for me right now."
"I am, b." I admit, violently wiping a tear from my cheek.
He sat up, pulling me to a seat position too.
I smiled, seeing him sigh deeply, eyes closed as he squeezed my hand.
"Naomi, I have to say something." His eyes looked pleading and I nodded, not even speaking out of fear what his words were about to say.
This was all too much, and I didn't expect any of this tonight but right now, peak emotions, making confessions, he could say anything and I don't know what I'll say to him.
"I'm in love with you, it's not casual for me anymore." He confessed and my voice caught under a lump in my throat. "I don't want you to say something out of pity, I just want you to know."
"Marcus." I shook my head, my eyes pinched close and I heard him repeat: 'I know' several times.
"You don't have to say anything, I don't need an answer, or reassurance. There's nothing you can say to change this. It's already done."
I nodded, finally making eye contact.
"Marcus, I'm here for you, and you know that. I love you, I always will, but I can't promise to be in love with you."
"I know, I don't expect you to."
"Why don't we get some rest for the night and go see AJ early?" I suggest and he nods.
"Good idea." He agrees and puts his palm on my cheek.
I press my face into his hand then grab it and kiss the palm sweetly.
"Thank you." He whispered and I smiled again.
"No need to thank me, Marcus." I shook my head, seeing him smile. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine softly.
The kiss was merely seconds but it was surprisingly refreshing. It was a closing to an emotional night, and more friendly than I expected from him. He always keeps me on my toes, keeping me confused about my feelings for him was his specialty.