New Dawn

Evangeline

Why me?

The question is present not only in my mind but clearly on the aces of those around me. I didn't have enough time to think about it before I was put on Clara duty for the trip over, but it just doesn't make sense. I am not anyone important. If they're looking for a good silver ally it's not me. A deserter of the battle of North? A disgraced, forgotten child of house Samos? A lesbian.

The words echo in my mind. Julian is out of his mind unless his intent is to remind all the ex-nobles and royals how different the world is now. My mind spins as I try and piece together why on earth I'm here. I wish Tolly were here. But that is a false hope. Though I will certainly find him later, even he isn't dumb enough to come meet The General and Mare. Not when what he did still hangs in the air. 

That is the one thing I thought would truly stop Mare from ever being my friend. I never thought she would be able to get past the thoughts of what my brother did. Especially when the two of us look all too similar. It also surprises me Farley would let me babysit her daughter. It's clear she doesn't like me, but it's impossible to deny that I am good with children. I like to think it's from putting up with Tolly and Cal when I was growing up. And Maven. I sigh. He is never far from my mind.

I follow Davidson and Farley as they head towards the ex-palace. Cal surprised me with the hug. It was nice. I did miss that self assured matchstick. Even though I hated being his betrothed, being round him during the war made me grow to respect, and even enjoy  the heir to House Calore. I chuckle as I feel a flustered Cal come up behind me. Well he's either flustered or angry, because his body temperature just went up by about ten degrees. He falls in line next to me and I see the silver blush on his cheeks. I smile to myself, at least he hasn't moved on.

"So" I say. It hangs in the air "Why am I here?"

The question is for Cal mostly, but I'm open to any answer from someone who actually knows something. 

Nobody answers.

"Prince Charming?" I ask. 

He grimaces, again giving no answer. If he knows anything, which I doubt he does, he is keeping his lips firmly sealed. I sigh.

"What should we, um, expect, Cal?" Farleys voice is strained. She never loved Silvers but Julian's kindness and intelligence was part of the reason she realized we weren't all bad.

"He is not doing well." Cal says, his body temperature dropping quickly.

Well I would think not, Calore. Why on earth would we be here if he was doing well? But I keep the retort silenced. He is clearly upset.

"You can tell his days are numbered and there is nothing anyone can do." His voice catches. "It's like speaking to a ghost. A man marked for death with a brand no one can remove". 

I fight the urge to put my hand on his arm, I look at him but he won't meet my eyes. His eyes are shining with tears, and suddenly I am reminded of a time when my father was marked in the same way. 

Marked by Julian. I remind myself.

But that was not Cal's fault and neither is this. I rest my hand gently on his arm, he is abnormally cold. I can't even feel the normal surge of heat beneath his skin. In fact he even feels cold. 

The feeling unsettles me. I have never know to the ex-prince to be anything but basically on fire at all times. He was always more in control than Maven, but it didn't mean I couldn't sense the extent of his feelings by how hot the room was. But now he is cold, almost clay beneath my touch. I give his arm a good squeeze, forcing him to meet my eyes. I'm sorry. I say with my eyes. I wish I could bring myself to say something to him out loud. But anything I might think of would sound either patronizing or cliche. Elane has always been better at things like this.

I wish she was here. Is the last thing I think as we enter Julians rooms. My eyes snap straight to him, propped up feebly against the pillows. Sara Skonos moves to exit as we enter, giving Julian's hand a squeeze as she does. It hits me how right Cal was. Though my father was marked, it was nothing like this. He was fighting until the last, in all his strength and power, crown on brow until he inevitably fell. But Julian looks as though any moment he could be gone. Davidson catches Sara's arm and slips the volume in his hands to her. He nods. I'm not sure what he's handing her, it is clearly whatever he was reading on the plane. He nods as does she, before she exits into the hall, closing the door behind her. 

Julian offers us a weak smile. We take our place next to the bed, Cal sitting directly on it, the rest of us in the chair brought up from the great hall. I offer Julian a wan smile. I resist the urge to snap, demanding why I was brought here. But he opens his mouth to speak, and so I let him, letting his words fall over me like rain, attempting to absorb what he is saying to me. 

He cannot be serious.