New Dawn

Evangeline

I couldn't get through to Mare. She wouldn't hear anything, from me, from Farley, from Prince Blowtorch. No one. She wouldn't believe, couldn't believe, that it really was a hallucination. 

I split my time now between her room and my own. She comforting me as best she can, me trying to help her process everything that happened and is still happening. I still haven't been outside. But that will change today. 

I don't put makeup on, there's no point. It will all be off by the end of the wake between the little fall of rain outside and the tears that are already pooling in my eyes. My dress, if you could even call it that is sheet upon sheet of hard iron, layered to form a tight bodice and wide hoop style skirt. It is adorned with a single black sash. Her house colors. A black veil of a window adorns my face. I am thankful for it. I won't have to meet people's eyes, not really. 

My door handle rattles with someone's attempt to open it though its locked. In an instant my dress has transformed into metal javelins and a large thick shield, blocking me from whatever may come through that door. The javelins are all poised in the air, ready to flay someone, anyone who comes in unannounced at my discretion. 

"Eve let me in"

Cal's voice carries across the room and I let out a sigh of relief. My hands are shaking and the javelins and shield clang to the ground. My breathing becomes labored and I hold onto the bedpost, the only thing stopping my knees from buckling below me. 

"Eve I'm sorry but it's important!" he yells, again trying the handle.

I take a minute to try and center myself, slowly pooling the metal at my feet before reforming the dismembered skirt. Then slowly I walk toward the door, careful of my every breath. 

In through the nose, out through the mouth. 

When I open the door, Cal enters quickly.

"Eve I'm worried about Mare." He says.

I shrug my shoulders, "What else is new?" 

"Eve I'm serious. She says he was here last night. That he woke her up and told her he'd come to, the um, the event today." He shuffles awkwardly. 

"Cal you can say wake, I won't shatter." I mean it to sound more confident, but my voice shakes to match my hands and knees. 

Cal suddenly notices that I'm shaking like a leaf in the wind and takes my arm, supporting my weight with his arm. He leads me to a chair and guides me to be seated. 

"I just, I don't know if I should bring her to the wake. I'm worried she'll cause a scene." 

I nod slightly. Though I know he's right, it would mean not having either him or Farley there too because they'd have to stay and watch her. Losing the support of two of my closest friends isn't something I was prepared to handle today. 

"Just, feel out the morning. If you don't think it's right, don't bring her." My voice continues to shake against my will and I dig my nails into my  palm in an attempt to stop my hands from doing the same.

"Of course. And I'll be there too, of course. As will Farley." 

I cock my head to one side, "but Mare.." 

He cuts me off "Sara, will stay with Mare, if she cannot come." he says "we are here for you, today and always." 

He cups my face gently in his hands before kissing my forehead lightly. I feel the warmth radiating off of him, and I lean into it, letting him stroke my hair as the first of many tears that I'll shed today slide down my cheeks. 

"Thank you, Cal" I whisper into his chest, continuing to shake with silent sobs. 

I can feel him shaking slightly too, his hand continuing to stroke my hair as he holds me tightly. 

"Of course, Eve. You know I'd do anything for you." He meets my eyes and smiles, wiping his eyes with his free hand. 

I try and return his smile but I can't muster more than a grimace. 

"Go and help Mare get ready." I say "see if she's ok. The service starts in an hour." 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Elane Haven was without contest the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I knew it the day I laid eyes on her, that she was the only person I was ever destined to love. What feels like a lifetime ago I promised her a consorts crown and a place with me forever. I truly thought that was our future. But then a lightning bolt struck our lives and changed everything. Changed it for the better. I was able to be free and live this last year with the woman I loved more than anything. And boy, did we live." I wipe my eyes before continuing. "I have known Elane almost all my life, and I have never seen her as happy as she was in Montfort. Where we were able to be together freely and wholly, where she was able to show everyone how smart she truly was and help the cause with the brilliance beyond her beauty. I am glad that she found happiness in her life, even if it was cut cruelly short." I feel myself choking up and take a big breath. "Elane Haven was the love of my life, and someone everyone she knew admired. I miss you loads my angel, and I can't wait to see you again."

I let the tears take me as I return to my seat. Cal walks to the podium, squeezing my arm as he goes by. 

"When I was little, Elane, Laney as my brother and I so called her, was never far from Evangeline's side." He lets out a wry smile, "we always assumed it was Ptolemus that she had a crush on, but we were wrong, obviously." That earns a laugh from the assembly and even I crack a smile through my tears. "Laney was the kindest person I ever knew, and the most genuine person I ever met at Silver court. I always knew when she was around because she would genuinely laugh, and she could make me genuinely laugh. Little known fact," I see he is crying now, "Laney Haven" he chokes on a sob "was one of the funniest people I have ever known." He shakes with a single quiet sob, before wiping his eyes. "To know her was to know sunshine and light and laughter. Not a day will go by when she won't be remembered." 

I have to hold Farley's hand so hard I fear I may break it so as not to bring the whole building down around us, my grief threatening to bring down the infrastructure of the building around us. I feel like I have been falling for days, like Elane's death pushed me over the edge and I haven't been able to stop falling since. But this is not the kind of falling where there are butterflies in your stomach and love in your heart. No, this feels as though I am spinning in the dark, my stomach is in my throat, and I could throw ups t any second. 

The back door of the assembly hall rattles as someone enters while Cal is taking his seat. 

"Sorry to interrupt, came to finish the job." A familiar, grading voice calls. 

And then the whole room explodes.