Scenarios On Ice

different types of narcissists

the mirror narcissist

theia: who is this beautiful creature looking right back at me??? oh right, it's the gorgeous theia crispino

theia: i love myself so much

theia: //ends up kissing reflection on the puddle of water//

romeo: um

theia: //french kisses mirror//

romeo: sorella no

the vv prideful narcissist

zac: i'm so fucking handsome

zac: like what the fuck look at these eyes look at these eyebrows look at this face look at mE

zac: omggggg i could literally marry myself

zac: i am the fuCKING KING

zac: shit i could die from how handsome i am

zac: i woULD COMMIT SUICIDE JUST FOR ME

zac: MAPLE SYRUP LOVES ME

zac: POUTINE LOVES ME

zac: MY CLOTHES LOVE ME

zac: I LOVE ME

zac: THE WHOLE CANADA LOVES ME

zac: THE WHOLE WORLD LOVES ME

zac: THE WHOLE UNIVERSE LOVES ME

the narcissist who denies he is a narcissist

jonathan: sigh

jonathan: honestly these girls and even guys need to stop bothering me

jonathan: i mean i know i'm very handsome and all ??

jonathan: siGh

jonathan: it's so hArd being sO attractive

jonathan: ugh why was i born this good-looking

jonathan: what did i do to become this beautiful

jonathan: wow i look like the male version of barbie ?? like wow

jonathan: i am male psyche fr

jonathan: //screams at reflection// sTOp bEinG sO AtTRACtiVE!!!!!1!1!1!1!1!!1!!!!!111!!!!!!

jonathan: too much handsomeness is an actual curse

jonathan: lol i'm more handsome than alek

veronica: you're identical twins—

jonathan: no we all know i'm the more handsome one

jonathan: anD DOES ALEK HAVE MY GORGEOUS PLATINUM BLONDE LOCKS ??? I DON'T THINK SO

natalya: it's dyed—

jonathan: shut the fuck up natalya this dye is permanent now

jonathan: shit i might even be the most gorgeous creature alive

jeanne: there are probably people out there who look better, you probably just haven't met them yet—

jonathan: OH REALLY??? WHERE??? //grabs a globe and spins it// WHERE??? TELL ME, WHERE DO YOU SEE ANYONE MORE GORGEOUS THAN ME???? YOU DON'T SEE IT, RIGHT???? NOT EVEN ALEK OR CLARISSA OR APHRODITE HERSELF NUH UH WE ALL KNOW I'M THE PRETTIEST THING ALIVE SO IF YALL THINK OTHERWISE THEN YOU NEED A CHECKUP W THE EYE DOCTOR BC YOU CANNOT DENY I AM GOD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATION AMEN HALLELUJAH

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this has been in my drafts for a while

expect more crack coming up ;)))

- admin audrey