Killjoy (A Lesbian Story)

10: Max

Light green walls surrounded me as I stared up at the ceiling, which was softly illuminated by glow in the dark stars. The only other source of light was coming from the streetlight behind the white curtains. Soft music weaved throughout the room, underlying steady breathing and humming. All I could do was lay on the bed, feeling the fluffy, grey comforter under me. My heart was beating in my chest as I felt her laying next to me. Being only a few inches from me, I could feel her brush against me every so often. It left my skin tingling and my heart would beat faster, if that was even possible. It made things worse that all I could do was  just lay there and say nothing. Words bubbled up in my throat, but all I could do was keep my mouth shut as if someone had sewed my lips together.

It had to be said. I told myself I would. No way to back down, now.

"Ash?" My voice came out in a hoarse whisper.

"Yeah, Max?" She answered.

"I need to tell you something."

She shifted in the bed and I could tell that she was sitting up. I didn't dare look at her, however. I kept my eyes up on the ceiling as she spoke, "What is it?"

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. Opening my mouth, I felt no noise come out at first, "I'm gay."

The words hung in the air like smoke. I sat there, staying silent with my eyes still closed. There was no movement from Ashley's side of the bed. It was dead silent besides the music playing. Slowly, I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. The stars seemed to glow brighter.

"Me too."

I sat straight up in bed, my eyes wide open. I turned around to look at Ashley. She sat with her back against the headboard, her eyes fixated on her lap as her hands fidgeted with her shorts. I blinked a few times and shook my head as if I misheard her, "What?"

Ashley looked up at me, her teeth pulled on her lip and I could see a flash of her braces. She sucked in a breath before saying, "I'm gay too."

All I could do was stare at her. After everything that I have been terrified of, every scenario that went on in my head, I never thought that I wouldn't be alone in this. Especially with Ashley admitting to this. I never would have thought that she would say that. That she would be gay as well.

"Are you serious?" I asked her in disbelief.

Slowly, she grinned at me, "Yes. I am."

She started laughing slightly, which caused a nervous giggle to bubble in my throat. We sat there for a while, laughing softly in the dark of her bedroom. Our laughter died down a bit and we just looked at each other for a bit. Slowly, Ashley moved towards me. I sucked in a breath as her face got close to mine, making our noses brush against each other. She slid a hand on to my cheek and pulled me in to her, connecting our lips. They were soft and warm. I then felt a bracket of her braces against my bottom lip, making me open my eyes.

This wasn't happening.

I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her away from me. Furrowing her eyebrows, she looked at me, "What's wrong?"

"You are sick!" I shook my head and stood up, walking away from the bed. I pinched the bridge of my nose and shut my eyes tight, "You're fucking with the wrong memory. Why this one? Why?"

"I'm giving you what you want." She said, her voice switching to that god-awful coldness, "This is how it should've happened, right?"

I spun around, glaring at her, "How it happened was how it happened. There is nothing I would change."

That made her laugh. Swinging her legs around to the edge of the bed, she continued to speak, "Oh honey, I see in that mind. I know your thoughts and your memories. Your wants. Your desires. Your dreams and fantasies. I know all."