EVERY BREATH

F O U R

On our way to the party Matt starts acting like a little kid taking pictures of me. I don't mind it right now though cause I feel good. It's rare that I wear a dress so I'm enjoying it. He hands me Kat's gift and tells me to smile.

When we get to the party, the house is already packed with people. I take a deep breath and walk into the house. Matt is walking by my side. I turn and look at him I don't want to be here I think to myself.

"When's Abby getting here?" I ask.

"She's lives here. Remember?" He says.

"I'm just nervous and I hate being here. I feel so awkward here" I say.

"Lily quite complaining and have a drink, yeah" he says.

"Alright but no alcohol" I worn.
~~~
I separate myself from Matt and Abby cause they're pretty wasted. I walk around the house trying to find the bathroom, and I see some girl grabbing James's arm taking him into a room. He didn't turn around so he doesn't even know I'm here. I go downstairs and go to the door. I need some fresh air. I don't know what I'm supposed to even do I feel awful. I didn't wanna be here in the first place. I'm sitting in the back yard of a girl's house I don't even like. Is this why she invited me so that I could see James cheating. She doesn't even have a clue I'm dating him so that's off the table.

I begin to cry because I have all these emotions I don't know how else to express them. I want to yell, punch, kick, and cry. I knew I shouldn't even of came here in the first place.

"So you're the emotional drinker huh" some random guy says.

"Nope, I don't even have to drink to cry" I say sarcastically.

He begins to laugh and says "then why is a pretty lady like yourself crying."

"I just saw my boyfriend go into a room with some random girl" I tell him and emidiatly feel stupid for telling a stranger my problems.

"That sucks but at least now you know he's a cheater" he says.

"Yeah well it doesn't hurt any less" I say.

"True" is all he says

"Huh, and here I thought you were going to give me some wise life changing advice" I say and he laughs.

"Na I'm not that type of guy I'm more of a chill keep it to myself guy. You know what I mean" he says.

"Yeah" I say knowing exactly what he means.

"What are you doing outside by yourself?" he asks.

"All my friends are drunk and I don't drink so yeah..." I say with a sigh.

"I'm pretty sure most of my friends are blasted too" he says. "My name's Enzo by the way" he says.

"My name's Lily by the way" I mock him.

"Funny, even when your sad. That's a good quality" he says.

We talk for about two hours and then James comes.

"Enzo we're all leaving are you coming?" James asks and then realizes that I'm here. "What are you guys doing out here?" He asks.

"Talking" Enzo says. "And I think I'm going to stay a little longer" he answers.

"Why? We're all going back to the house" James says clearly trying to get him to leave.

"Yeah but I don't want to leave her here alone" he says and I smile at him.

"It's okay I'll just go inside" I say.

"What do you mean alone?" james asks.

"Nothing" I say getting up and walking back inside. James grabs my arm and I try to make him let go.

"I can take you home" Enzo says.

"Sure" I say.

"No I'll take her home. You help diego with Danny and Simon" James says.

"I'd rather go with Enzo" I say taking my arm from his grip.

"Enzo go help diego" James says with a stern voice.

"I'm not going with you" I say.

"I didn't ask you love" he says with a smile.

"Fuck off James" I say and walk away. He follows me and when we get near the door he picks me up. "Let me go" I yell but he keeps walking. I can feel my cheeks heating up. I feel so humiliated.
When we get to his car he puts me down.

"Get in" he says and I walk away he is not telling me what to do. He catches up with me, and again picks me up but he puts me in the car this time. I don't say anything I just look out the window he starts driving somewhere else. I don't recognize it here but I don't feel like talking so I stay quite. He grabs my thigh and I push his hand off.

He pulls the car over and starts yelling "Why is it always so fucken difficult with you?" he hits the steering wheel. "You always seem to be fucking mad. If you don't want to be with me just fucking say it. I know I'm fucking difficult to work with too but you don't say anything how the fuck am I supposed to know what I did wrong."

"I saw you walk in the room with that girl" I say taking a deep breath.

"Is that why you're mad?" he asks.

"Of course that's why I'm mad James. I always see you doing shit that I don't like, and if I say anything you get mad. How am I supposed to react James huh. If I do shit like that you get angry and start giving me shit. I don't know what I'm supposed to do" I scream.

"You're right, I'm sorry I put you in that situation. I let my anger get the best of me and I'm sorry it shouldn't be like that. I'm just scared of losing you" he says. I have nothing to say. "Please Lily, say something" he says.

"I have nothing to say James. I'm just tired of fighting with you about stupid shit. I hate all this in between stuff. I want you, just you. We only have limited time together and we spend most of it fighting. I don't wanna fight anymore. I just want to love you" I say and he just looks at me.

"Me too, this is the first time I'm in a relationship it's hard for me" he says and looks out the window.

"I know it is, but that's why I'm here to help you in everything. I just need you to think twice before reacting. It's not going to help if you get mad and walk out" I tell him.

"I know, I'm trying" he says and leans in to kiss me.