Too Nice

XXIV. Uninvited Guest

"Fucking Russian asshole and his damn meal plans," I grumbled to myself as I forced another spoonful of oatmeal into my mouth. My appetite was nonexistent this morning, but I tried my best to eat the healthy breakfast that my boyfriend prepared for me. An apple and a bowl of fruity oatmeal...Shit.

I forgot about the apple.

With an agitated grunt, I set the bowl of oatmeal on the little table next to me and grabbed the large honey crisp apple. I decided it was a good idea to eat breakfast on my porch because 1. It was hot outside and 2. I was fucking freezing.

"Hey, miss Daniels!" A familiar voice called to me. I looked up to see the mailman holding a large package in his hands. "Got something special for ya here!"

"I didn't order anything," I said. I never liked ordering stuff online. The item took forever to get here and it half-ass worked. Deciding that it really wasn't a big deal I sat the apple back on the table and grabbed the medium-sized pink cardboard box. The details on the box were... A bit much. Glittery golden swirls decorated the outside and started to coat my cold fingers. It kind of looked like it was hastily made by hand.

"Maybe it's a gift from a friend," The mailman suggested.

"I don't have friends," I replied. Currently, my only contacts were Aisha and Viktor. All my so-called high school friends only cared about how many 20's I had in my pocket and my family situation has always been strained. I really did try to bond and show love to my family but they just never liked me. I guess that's what happens when you're the product of an affair.

"That hurts."

"You only talk to me when I get a big package. Which is rare as fuck."

The mailman stood silently and shifted awkwardly on his heels. He couldn't deny anything I just said to him. There were plenty of times where I tried to start a conversation with the man. All of my attempts were futile. He just wanted nothing to do with me. That was fine as long as he didn't treat me like the most interesting person in the world when I got something special.

"We talk all the time-"

"What's my first name? Don't look at my mail," I interrupted. I really had him now. Without a final word, he placed the remaining envelopes in my mailbox and carried on with his deliveries. Good. The time for dealing with fake ass people was over.

"Alright," I said to myself as I pried the box open. "What do we have here?" The smell coming from the inside of the box hit me like a ton of bricks. It kinda smelt like the lavender hand soap at the dealership but 10 times worse. I leaned away from the box and took a deep breath through my nose. I could only handle so much lavender. I hated it. With lungs full of air, I pulled out what seemed to be a gift basket full of different items. Assorted meats, different kinds of candy, perfumes and other lotions.

"Oh my Lord," I gasped when I caught sight of the large dark chocolate candy bar. Within seconds the wrapper was off and the candy was in my mouth. Oh, God! It tasted like heaven. My mind went completely blank as I practically inhaled my favorite candy. Nothing else mattered at that moment because this chocolate bar was good as fuck... Well, I did say moment. I'm not going to lie, it did hurt to see the chocolate bar in my hands. It now coated most of my fingers and even the corners of my mouth. That one piece of candy had turned me into an uncontrollable monster.

"I'm going crazy." I sighed to myself. I used to talk to myself a lot when I was a child. If Mamu wasn't around then it was just me and my brief conversations, but now they were becoming frequent. Sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it. Viktor noticed it yesterday. The way he looked at me when I came to my senses cut me deep. It was like he figured out I was losing my shit. Whatever. I shouldn't care what he thinks. I shouldn't care what anyone thinks. Caring what people think of me just causes pain. I don't want to hurt anymore. I just want to feel normal.

"Oh shit. I'm doing it again, aren't I? I-I'm freaking the fuck out," I continued to ramble relaxing words to myself as I brought an unlit cigarette to my slightly chapped lips. With a single strike of the lighter, I felt my nerves instantly calm. Each inhale took a disturbing thought from my mind. I sank back in my chair and closed my eyes. I didn't even bother to open them when I heard footsteps approaching me. Maybe it was Viktor getting ready to scold me for smoking, or maybe it was the mailman coming back to slit my throat. Whoever the hell it was I didn't really care.

"Oh, God," I nearly jumped out of my skin at the familiar voice. The relaxing sensation that the first puff of the cigarette gave me was instantly washed away at the sight of my mother standing over me.

"Hey, my baby."