Too Nice

XXVI. Pills and Parties

Don't you think that she finally figured out you don't love her!?'

I've known that since the beginning. I know you don't love me either.

"She did not ask to be created by her whore of a mother!"

Can I leave? I know you won't mind.

"I let you torture her!"

You enjoyed every bit of it.

"I let the whole family torture her!"

They enjoyed it too.

"I'm so sorry."

No, you're not. None of you are.

My thoughts were kicking my ass. No matter how hard I tried to push them out they always seemed to come right back. I was at war with myself and I was close to surrendering. I continued to take deep breaths to try and calm myself down. Ever since my emotions became a mess I found myself doing things that I would regret later. Nearly choking the life out of that woman in Viktor's gym was one of them. Punching the wall was also a huge regret. I couldn't regret ending it all. Once I did it, it was over. I probably just needed to sleep. Yeah. I was stressing myself out. A nice long nap could relax me. I removed my hands from my face and reached for my sleeping pills.
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"Amari? Are you home? I brought puppies!" I called excitedly. It was like the puppies sensed my excitement because they started going nuts in the cardboard box. I looked down into it only to be met with a wet kiss on my nose. "Pak-Pak! No more kisses!"

Jae was going to love this puppy. I talked to him a few days ago and it seems like his family is taking the death of his mother hard. I could hear the sadness in his voice as he told me he would be staying another month. It hurts not to be able to be there for my friend but I know he is strong.

"Amari?" I called again. With no response, I started to feel worried. No! I always do this. She was probably just asleep. I gently sat the box of puppies on her floor. They attempted to jump out and explore their new surroundings, but Mishka was there to calm down the little adventurers. I gave Mishka a loving pat on the head before making my way down the hall to find my girlfriend.

"Amaaarrriii!" I sang in a high pitched voice. She liked it when I was silly. I expected an adorable cackle but was only met with silence. Maybe she was just playing a joke on me, or maybe I just wasn't funny. No. Of course, it wasn't that. I'm hilarious! After a few knocks on her bedroom door, I quickly popped my head in.

"Amari?" No response. A smile spread on my face when I saw that she was asleep. It was good that she was catching up on some much-needed rest. Sometimes when she came to the gym with me she would be barely awake. Amari did tell about her struggle to sleep through the night. She would always wake up at 3 or so in the morning...

I stopped in my tracks when I saw an empty pill bottle in her hand. Her half-lidded eyes only confirmed my suspicion. She looked lifeless.

"Shit! Hey! You ok? Amari? Amari!" I roughly patted the side of her face. It took a few more hits before life returned to her brown eyes. She sat straight up with wide tired eyes.

"Jesus, Viktor!" Amari panted. You scared the fuck out of me! What's wrong? Where's the fire?"

"N-No fire. Just a mini heart attack," I wheezed as I held her chin and examined her face. She looked as if she hadn't slept in days. I placed my hand on her chest only to be met with an uncomfortably slow heartbeat.

"Come. Let's go," I commanded as I lifted her into my arms. She immediately stiffened and tried to loosen my hold.

"Wait what? Where are we going?"