grace under pressure • jerome valeska

CHAP. 12: Ladies And Gentlemen

  The next day we were on the front page of the paper. The MANIAX bodies a huge picture on the front. It was amazing the way they put our scene into writing. I think it was the best paper I had ever read. I couldn't stop laughing while scanning it over. I even got a section at the bottom.

  "Women in prison uniform seen hitting men with hammer in hallways of the Gotham Today News Paper Headquarters." Yeah. It was awesome. They even got a small picture of the back of me dragging a body from what seemed from a phone. Damn, I hadn't seen that. Whatever, it was done and I was on the paper. 

  I was in my bed, lying down and staring at my ceiling. I was thinking. All of this had gone by so...fast. You know? It was very hard to catch up. A mere month ago, I had been killing my parents. Only a little before that, I had been being abused every second of the day. My parents, my brothers, the people at my school. Every hurt me. Now, I was hurting others. I was giving my revenge. I was making people finally listen to me. No longer would I ever be treated like I once was. I was feared. If my family could see me now! Well, you know they couldn't, cause they were dead. Except. For. One. Steve. 

  Steve was very much alive to my dissatisfaction. If I had made one different move. If I had gotten to my brothers room first or started with Steve rather than Adam. He should be dead. He should be wasting away like the rest of his putrid family. Not my family. No. My family left me. They abandoned me. They left me to rot in an orphanage. To get adopted by my abusers. I then realized something. I was free. 

  I realized that now, since I was out of Arkham, I could do whatever I pleased. Theo didn't hold me here and it wasn't as if I was going to run away with basically all my stuff at this place. I could get to Steve. I could find him. And I could finish what we started. I smile at the thought. I would make him scream for what he did to me. He was the most violent out of the two brothers. I would make sure he got every second of pain I endured in my life. Every second. Just imagining it made me feel warm inside. 

  After awhile I got bored with just thinking in bed so I stood, stretching my limbs. I go over to my closet and scan over all my clothes. I smile. So many choices. I pick out a black skirt, a purple shirt with the cheshire cat smile on the front, with tan sandals. I thinking about what hairstyle I could use as I get dressed and that is when I catch a glimpse of my back. As I did I close my eyes on instinct. I lean over, using my bed to support me by holding onto the edge. My mind spins as I get a dizzy spell. I almost never looked at my back for this very reason. I shut them tighter, trying to imagine the pain away. 

  While leaned over I realize what I was doing. I was letting their reminder get the best of me. The dizziness. The headache. The pain.

  I couldn't let them win. If I never looked at them, then I would never fully succeed with my mission that caused everything. That caused their death. That caused my freedom. I would never be truly free unless I look at them. I slowly open my eyes, my breath coming in small spurts as I turn around in almost slow motion. I finally look at the mirror which showed my back. I flinch harshly, not used to looking at them. On my back, was many lashes that my father so "graciously" gave me whenever I tried to fight him. I had at four. I had counted before. 

  They were deep and long, one coming from my shoulder to my mid back. I feel tears come to my eyes. I wipe them away harshly. I continue to stare at my back. I lift my hand, running my finger over a bumpy scar. I can't hold my tears any longer. I turn away, and bury my face into my bed, clutching my blanket in my hand tightly. No. I couldn't look at it. I couldn't. I would not let myself turn around.

  "But you have to."  I hear a part of me whisper. "You have to or they'll win." I open my eyes. I don't turn around. Not just yet. I breathe shakily. I knew I needed to. I would never pass if I didn't just. turn. around. I close my eyes briefly to collect myself before narrowing my eyes and straightening myself. I breathe in deeply and turn my head to look over my shoulder and at the mirror. I see myself, standing tall. I was no longer bound by their chains. They did not control me any longer. I was myself. I belonged to no one. I was Grace Sky and no one would ever own me again. I smile. I was bigger than my scars.