Got7- Markson Grief

When Two Lips Meet

I woke up slowly as my brain and body made the transition from subconscious to conscious. I didn't open my eyes. I was afraid. I didn't want last night to be a dream. 

Eventually, I slowly opened my eyes and it was then that I registered the warmth next to me. I looked to my side and saw Jackson sleeping still, his arms still around me. I didn't want to wake him, he looked so peaceful and beautiful in this state. I turned to the side and carefully scooted closer to him, wanting to feel his warmth even more. 

"Hmm..." I heard Jackson grumble as I cuddle into his side. I quickly closed my eyes in case he woke up. I didn't want to seem like I needed his warmth, even though that was not the truth. The warmth of his body gave me comfort and made me feel safe and happy, which is what I needed most right now. "I know you are awake..." 

"Oh..." I said, opening my eyes and looked up to see him looking at me. When he saw me looking up at him, he started to play with my hair. It felt good. Comforting. "That feels nice..." I said without thinking. I immediately regretted saying it and could feel the heat in my cheeks grow. I hid my face in his chest. I could feel him chuckle. I didn't know if it was at my comment or my response to it, but I was sure it was the former. I was so stupid to say that. I mentally slapped myself. 

"You're cute when you get shy." Jackson said and I looked up at him in confusion.

"I am?"

"Yeah," He said, continuing to play with my hair.

"Thank you..."

"For what? Playing with your hair?"

"No, I mean yes, but mostly for being here and staying with me when I really needed it," I said, and I meant it. Jackson was one of the best friend I had. Normally, it was me that would be comforting him when he felt down and me refusing to say when I was having a hard time. I was glad that this was one of the times I did confide in my best friend. I would have broke without him. I almost did.

"No need to thank me, that is what friends are for."

"I know, but usuallly it is you that has a hard time. I am always there for you... I mean, for all the members, because that is what the hyung is supposed to do for his donsaengs. Protect them. Care for them. So I did, but I never expressed my hard ships. I mean, I didn't want you guys to see me at my weakest points... I had to be strong for you guys, my members. I had to take care of-" I said, rambling on and on about the members. I didn't know where it came from, but I needed to get it out. It was then, mid sentance that Jackson did the last thing I would expect him to do. He kissed me. When he first did, I froze, not moving a muscle, but after a few seconds, I gave in. His lips were soft and perfect and they fit together with mine like they were made to be intertwined together. I had imagined this... more times than I can count, but I never thought it would happen. Then, it was over fast, too fast. I wanted it to last forever. I could melt on his lips. 

"Guys..." I heard Jinyoung's voice outside the door, followed by a knock on the door. "You guys up?"

"Yeah!" I responded, quickly getting out of bed, not bothering to give a look at Jackson. I don't know why he did that, but I was sure that it was nothing and that it meant nothing. At least to him. 

I quickly got my clothes and got dressed for the day and Jackson did the same. Neither one of us said anything until we got to the table for breakfast, but even then only Jackson really talked. It was times like these when I was glad I didn't talk that much. It wasn't obvious when I didn't.

For the next week after that, things were a little awkward between us. Our talks were the same, but despite that, the kiss still lingered unspoken in the air. On top of that, our skinship came to a minimum between us. We did it on camera for our fans, but not a lot off camera. The awkwardness between sent me down a dark path. He wanted to be there for me, but it was awkward to be next to him. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to know what the kiss meant to him, but I also didn't, because there was the chance that he said it meant nothing, and that would be the death of me.

Without Jackson, the thoughts of my grandmother became more and more painful. It became harder and harder to keep up in practice, on camera, and at our concert. It felt like I was doing everything under water. I wanted out. I wanted to break the surface, but everytime I tried to go to the surface, I saw Jackson standing above the water, and being underwater felt safer and more familiar than facing him. So I stayed. Drowing in my own thoughts. Struggling with every move I made. Struggling just to breathe.

(Simultaneous in different places:)

"Hey, Jackson, can we talk?" JB asked.

"Hey, Mark, can we talk?" Jinyoung asked.

"Yeah," Mark and Jackson responded.

Sorry if this was a little bad, but I am tired, but wanted to update this. Now, I'm gonna go update one more than sleep!