Got7- Markson Grief

I'm Your Support Beam

"Hey, Mark, have you seen this?" I looked up and saw Youngjae running up to me, covered in sweat and we hadn't even started the concert yet. I looked at him in confusion as he showed me his phone. It was a tweet from my dad. 

'Bye-bye Seoul... came with joy, but sadly left

RIP Grandmon... she will happily watching you perform from heaven'

I looked from the phone and up to Youngjae, looking for answers. It had been a couple of weeks since she passed, but seeing my dad announce it on Twitter like that felt like something else. I felt the tear slide down my cheek as I stared at the spot the screen had been. She would never have the chance to see me perform again. I could never perform in front of her ever again.

"Youngjae! They are looking for you!" Jackson showed up at the door, his naturally loud voice filling the room. His voice then dropped many decibels when he saw me, "Mark?"

"I'm coming!" Youngjae left me to Jackson as he left the room to get ready.

"What happened?" I hadn't seen him walk over and he was kneeling in front of me on the couch.

"My dad posted a tweet, about my grandmother..." 

"You okay?" Although I am sure he knew the answer to the question, I shook my head anyways.

I stood up as I wiped the tear. "I'll get through tonight..."

"I am here for you, just so you know..." I nodded as we walked away to join the others in getting ready.

"Thank you so much, everyone," I continued. I went to start talking again, but I choked up. I felt so grateful to have my members and aghases by my side, but it just wasn't the same tonight. I no longer had one of my biggest supporters watching me. I missed her... It wasn't right that I couldn't see her anymore and she couldn't be here to watch me succeed. I kept looking around at all the aghases out there and wondered how many went through and are going through a hard time like me. 

I pulled the mic away from my face and put my hands on my knees. I didn't want to cry in front of all the aghases, but it hurt too much. I missed seeing her smiling face as I performed a rap or dance for her.  I missed her voice telling me how much she wanted to see me succeed.

I felt a hand touch my back for a moment, but not long enough for me to identify who. It was short, but I knew in just one little touch that they were here for me. I looked away from aghases so they couldn't see. As I tried to hold back the tears, I heard Jackson starting a chant "its okay" echoed throughout the stadium. I felt another hand rub the top of my back, this time it was long enough for me to sense that it was Jaebeom. 

I heard someone talking, but wasn't paying much attention to who or what they were saying. I just kept trying to contain my tears. Aghases should see me happy and well, but I couldn't put on that face right now. All I could think about were my dad's words. 'she will happily watching you perform from heaven'. I hoped to God it was true, that she could see me, watch me, as we succeed now and more in the future. 

I stood up to face the aghases as I wiped the tears from my eyes as lightly as I could. as not to mess up the make-up artist's hard work. I finally turned toward the audience as I dried that last tear. The "awws" coming from the stadium were heart-warming but I wish I didn't have to hear them. I wanted aghases to see me happy so they could be happy too. Whoever was talking came to a stop and I took that as my opportunity to continue going. 

I figure aghases deserved to know what happened to make me so sad. "Something happened in my family," I started as the tears were fighting their way back, threatening to spill. I felt the comfort of Youngjae and Jaebeom's hands touch my back in comfort again. I knew I was bringing the mood down, but I felt it my duty to both aghases and my grandmother to talk about it. I tried to wipe the tears, but my hands weren't enough to stop them, so I grabbed the towel in front of me in hopes it would help me better. 

I stood there wiping my tears again as I heard them talking. I tried to get the tears to stop, but every time I dry one, another comes flooding its way down the same path. My grandmother wouldn't want me to be sad like this, she would want to see me smile, but it was hard to smile when she wasn't there to see it. However, I felt arms wrap around my torso; I turned to see who it was and even though I couldn't see their face, I knew the tall, skinny yet muscular man was Yugyeom. 

"I'm here" He whispered so only I could hear as he rested his head on my back. His touch was somewhat comforting, but I wish it was my grandmother's arms and voice. He released me from my hug but didn't leave my side right away.

He left a lingering arm on my shoulder as I continued. "but all of you became a huge source of strength for me." His presence left as he went back to his spot in line. "I was also able to carry out this performance well. I'm always thankful to all of you. Throughout these 8 years, I've never had the thoughts of regrets. In the future too, together with GOT7 and Aghases. Let's go slowly and are together for a long time. Thank you and I love you."

Once I was done, Bambam chimed in with a comment: "He didn't cry in the past 2 days, so he can cry today."

"He is the oldest, but the cutest, right?" I was thankful for the members' comments and their support. They got me through this time and I couldn't have without them. 

As I walked backstage after the concert, I separated myself from the others. I wanted to stay with them, comfort the other melancholy members, but I needed time for myself. I sat down in a chair of some random room. There wasn't a lot of light except for a lonely lamp sitting on one of the only tables in the room. 

I heard a knock on the door as Jackson appeared. "Mark?"

"Jackson, what are you doing here, shouldn't you be with the others?" I watched as he walked over to me and sit on the couch next to me.

"I should... but I didn't want to be. I figured you needed me more" I kept staring at him as he turned his head towards me as well. What was he doing here? "I know today was hard and I didn't want you to be alone."

"I'm okay now..." 

"Yeah, I'm sure you're fine... but if you aren't, my shoulder is always here." Jackson was always so kind and understanding. He never expected anything from, never pushed me. It is why I loved him, no matter how much he joked around, he knew how to be serious and comfort people when they needed it. Despite my words, I couldn't help but lean my head on his shoulder. I hated showing my weakness, but for some reason, whenever it was Jackson, I couldn't stop myself. 

"I am right here..." He whispered into my ear as he wrapped his arm around me and wiping my tears with the other hand. I looked up at Jackson and his gas caught mine. He looked so sad and I was about to ask why when I saw pity in his eyes as well and realized it was me. My pain was the source of his pain. I rarely see this face on Jackson and seems to mostly be around me. I stared as I followed the tear fall down his face, stopping and dangling from his top lip. A tear formed from my pain and one I felt responsible for wiping away. I reached my hand up and gently placed it on his cheek as I stared as the tear threatened to fall. Before it could, leaned forward and captured his lips in mine, tasting the salty liquid in my mouth as his lips moved against mine.

It was a familiar softness that I would never get tired of feeling. The kiss wasn't long or deep, but it was enough for me.

I hope you enjoyed! A longer chapter to make up for not posting in a few days. I wanted to add in both these parts into one and honestly didn't think it was gonna be so long.