Got7- Markson Grief

No Need To Hide Behind Anger

*Jackson's POV*

"Mark! Mark!" I yelled as I tried to grab his arm as he stormed away to his room. "I'm sorry!" I wanted to run after him, but I was also scared too. Maybe letting him cool off was better? I don't know!!!

"Jackson? What's up? Did you two fight?" Jinyoung asked as he approached me, the rest of the group huddling around as if this was some sort of middle school fight they had to witness.

"Not really, I just told Jaebeom-Hyung... something personal and he is mad that I did it without asking him."

"Is this about why he was in the hospital and you guys wouldn't tell us how or why?" I felt guilty. They all deserved to know what was happening with their Hyung, but Mark was too stubborn. No, not stubborn, scared and insecure. I also didn't want to risk him getting mad at me even more and doing something bad... I didn't want another member to walk in on him like that. I don't want him to ever be like that at all. He deserves to be happy, not miserable in his grief.

"Yeah... kinda..." I told them hesitantly as if walking on eggshells around Mark.

"So...? Why was he in the hospital?" Yugyeom asked, obviously not reading the social cues that should be telling him it was a sensitive subject.

"It is not my story to tell..."

"You told Jaebeom-Hyung!" Stop making me feel even more guilty!

"Yeah, but he is our leader, and he is the one that found him... so, I felt he deserved to know. Besides, look at how mad Mark is at me for telling Jaebeom-Hyung, imagine telling all of you. I will try to convince him to tell you, but no promises." I reasoned, waiting for no response as I went to try and talk to Mark. I had to make amends before he got too deep in his own thoughts.

"Mark?" I nervously asked as I knocked on the door and, to no surprise, got no response. "Can we please talk, I don't like when we fight..." I said and it was a couple of seconds before the door was opening and a blank-faced Mark was standing there. I felt like a kid in school getting sent to the principal's office.

"Fine, we can talk, but no promises on forgiving you," He said as he moved aside to let me inside the room.

"Look... I'm sorry, I know it wasn't my place, but he was so frazzled after seeing you like that!"

"I know, but you could have at least said as little as possible before just telling him things like that!" He yelled back and I was worried the others were gonna hear. 

"I know... and I'm sorry, I won't tell anyone else..." I pleaded, his anger made my heart hurt. Each word another dagger digging itself deep into my heart. He was the one I cared for most, I just wanted him happy. More than that, I wanted to be the one to make him happy, not angry. 

"How can I trust that?" Ouch. Not trust me? I trust Mark with my life. His not trusting me would end me...

"You can always trust me, Mark."

"What about Jaebeom?" He asked without any response to me. Did I really lose his trust? No... I couldn't have, right? Right? He will always trust me, we are best friends.

"He wouldn't either," I said, although I wasn't sure either. Maybe he felt he had to... Is this what Mark is thinking. 

"What if he thinks I am pathetic and worthless cause I can't handle my grief and he tells the others because he wants to kick me out and that would be all your fault!" His voice getting louder and louder. Pathetic? Worthless? Is that what he is thinking? No... he's not... everyone grieves differently... it's not his fault he is struggling to deal with something so hard.

"Mark... no..." I said as I looked at him, the intense fury in his eyes dimmed like a dying flame to be replaced with... sorrow? His defensive stance loosening as his shoulders sagged, no longer ready for battle, but ready for the end result of one. I couldn't stand his defeated look. He never deserves to feel as if his feelings aren't valid. 

In one fellow swoop, I wrapped my arms around his body, pulling him to me. I held on tight, afraid to let go until he felt every ounce of my love. 

"Let me go!" He struggled against me, but I wouldn't let up. He meant everything to me and he needed to know that every feeling, small or big, meant everything as well. I want to change every sad, angry, sorrowful, and insecure feelings into happiness at every possible moment.

"No. I won't, not until you understand that I am right here. I will never go anywhere else besides right next to you. Everything you feel is valid and never silly or pathetic. You are going through something really difficult and I don't want you to think for even a second we think you are stupid for your thoughts and feelings." I told him in English in hopes it would sink into his brain even just the slightest bit. I felt it working as Mark slowly started to allow his guard to drop and let me into his big heart. 

"Jackson..."  He whispered before wrapping his arms around me tightly as if I would disappear if he were to let go. 

"I'm right here..." I whispered into his ear when suddenly his body shook and I realized he was crying. "I got you..." I said as I held him tighter, allowing myself to give in to my own feelings, and cry with him.

I was gonna get this chapter up earlier, but I got distracted halfway through texting my friends. I miss seeing them. Being on house quarantined sucks. 

Note: Do you guys like it when I do Jackson's or Mark's POV or do you like me switching it up throughout chapters?