tutoring // frerard

Day 2, Tuesday after school

Gerards POV:
After school Frank and I walked to my house, we had a great time together.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Frank asked suddenly.
"Uhm, well, uhm, not really."
"Not really?"
"Yeah, I broke up with her yesterday. I'm interested in something else."
"In boys?"
Shit, he knows I'm gay.
"Maybe."
"You don't know yet?"
"Yeah, I could fall in love with a boy."
You mean Frank, huh Gerard?
I ignored my thoughts.
"Yeah same," Frank said while he was nodding. "Boys can be pretty."
Boys can be pretty? What the hell does that mean? Is he saying he's gay? Is he saying he likes me?

Gerards house:
Franks POV:
When we finally arrived Gerards house I said hello to his mum, Mikey wasn't home for a few days.
"So, how does it feel to have a brother?"
Seriously Frank? Is that how you start a conversation?
"Uhm, okay I guess. He can be really annoying though."
"I understand."
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
He asked while we walked upstairs.
"No, I live with my dad."

Gerard opened the door of his room, he had lots of posters of bands and art either. "This is my room, should we just relax a little bit first?"
"Yes. I see you like art."
"Yeah, I like to doodle sometimes."
It got silent for a while. Gerard came closer to me and leaned to my face.
We started to kiss.
His lips were soft and small, while mine were a bit bigger. My heart felt like a river filled with thornes, it felt wrong but good at the same time.

Gerard stopped kissing me.
"This is a lot more fun than doing homework."

My anxiety, shit, I'm too awkward for this.
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
Fuck.
My breath.
I walked away, as fast as possible.
He kissed me.
What am I supposed to do now?
I walked downstairs, no, I ran.
I opened the door. And I walked away. Without saying anything.

I hate myself.