An Alpha's Alpha

History

'Mate.' Her wolf growled at the word.

Slowly she folded the paper and dropped it back onto the side, she didn't want to see that word, 'mate'. She bit back a shudder and slowly dropped her eyes until she was glaring at her hands.

Briefly, she wondered where or when he'd picked the card up. Had one of the wolves given it to him? Is that why Elenor looked so guilty? He cleared his throat, bringing her attention back to him. She knew he had questions, she also knew she didn't want to answer them all.

"There's something you've been hiding from me." He stated when she didn't speak.

Her wolf whined in protest, half at Caine's claim and have at the deception. It was a dark memory for both her and her wolf, something that she never thought about - the one thing she refused to relive for fear that she wouldn't make it out alive the second time around.

Fear and panic prickled at the back of her neck, as a sweat broke out on her forehead. She felt her head began to ache before the room started to spin. She blindly reached out a hand for the countertop, using it to steady her. Her breathing became shorter, sharper, as her chest constricted.

Memories - images, voices, sounds - all blurred past her. The more she tried not to think about it, the more it came to the front of her mind. All the things that had happened to her, to her pack, how they'd come to be - all of it wanted to spill out of her mouth. To her surprise, her wolf wanted her to tell Jake, wanted to ease the burden, the pain, but Cassidy knew she'd caused enough damage to him already, she couldn't share her horror with him too.

She shook her head, unable to speak, trying to communicate with Jake that she couldn't - wouldn't, do this and just as her head felt like it was going to implode, Jake's hand reached out and touched her flaming skin. Like that, the pain began to subside, the darkness chased out by him. As she calmed her breathing, and her head focused again, she could only look at Jake.

He stood silently, watching her with a newfound gentleness in his expression. Wasn't he as broken as she was? Wouldn't he, of all people, understand that she'd done what she had to do to survive?

She took a deep breath, "Caine and I grew up together, after his father killed my father and took control of our pack. We were-we were friends, but his father - he was a cruel, cruel man. He-he did terrible things to our pack, to me."

"The scars?" Jake whispered, she could only nod. So he had noticed, she mused. It was something she was acutely aware of, her marred skin a public reminder of her history.

"I was the old alpha's daughter. I'd been raised to take control of our pack and everyone knew it. I was an obvious target. I could never understand why he didn't just kill me, little did I know that it was because of Caine. He protected him, as best he could and in his own way."

Slowly, Cassidy eased herself into one of the stools, Jake, following suit. They turned towards each other, Jake leaning in, his eyes watery. Tears already spilt down her cheeks, but there was no stopping this now.

"Leah was my best friend growing up, when the new alpha took over Saf joined our pack too. She was new to his pack, hadn't suffered as much. J - she'd been there a long time. Too long." She paused, shaking her head, remembering the state of J when they'd first met.

"Kelsey joined us much later, not that it saved her any suffering." Jake watched as Cassidy paused, the haunted wolf looking out into the distance. He wanted to tell her she looked beautiful but knew it wasn't the right time. The pain etched on her face made his chest hurt, his wolf wasn't happy about it either. He wanted to reach out, to touch her, to tell her it would all be OK, but at this moment he wasn't sure it would be.

"So, what about Caine?" He probed gently, trying to distract her from whatever horrors she was reliving.

She blinked and looked up at him, as though coming back from another world. "I killed his father. He was practically killing Saf. I had no choice. So I killed him - I challenged him to a fight and I killed him." A heartbreaking smile swept across her face, sadness tinging every angle. "It was the happiest and saddest day of my life. I thought Caine would follow me, I thought he'd understand that his father was cruel, too cruel to lead, but he became bitter, angry and unstable. He decided to leave, a few wolves followed him. For the next two years, we lived the most amazing life. The pack became prosperous once more, the people happy. It was all too good to be true."

Jake reached out, unable to help himself, and wrapped his hand around hers which were clasped tightly. She flinched and then relaxed under his touch. A brief smile crossed her face before she continued. He struggled, trying not to say anything, eager not to interrupt her, but every part of him wanted to tell her what an amazing alpha she was, what an amazing alpha she could be, to his pack.

She watched him quietly for a moment, trying and failing to read his face. He just stared at her, waiting patiently for her to speak. She looked away, unable to hold the eye contact. "Caine returned, demanding ownership of the pack. He claimed it was his birthright. He challenged me." Jake made a sound, distracting her for a second.

He shook off the surprise and nodded at her to continue, "we fought, I won, but I couldn't kill him. We'd grown up together, and at this point, I knew that he was the reason his father had never killed me, he wouldn't let him. He'd begged for my life on numerous occasions. I owed him." She paused, choking on her words, tears slid from her eyes. "So, I offered him a deal - he had to leave and in return, I wouldn't kill him. He accepted. I thought it would be fine."

She stopped again.

Jake reached out again, resting his hand on her arm, it chased away some of the pain, but not enough to make it bearable. "He came back that night. Turns out he'd changed his mind. He tried to force our mating."

The growl that rumbled out of Jake's chest caught them both off guard. The hands that were gently draped over hers, gripped her skin tightly, as anger rippled through him. She shuddered.

"He failed and ran off, but later that same week he returned and attacked our pack. So many died. So many innocent people." She sniffed, wiping tears from her face.

"We moved the pack, left those packlands behind, hoping to put distance between us and him. It worked, for a while. He left us alone. Soon though, he began to cause havoc. He started attacking individual pack members whenever they left the packlands. Then he tried to see me. He'd follow me if I left our land, or send threatening letters; he became obsessed. When I didn't agree to see him, he launched another attack in the middle of the night."

Jake waited patiently, noting the change in her. She looked vulnerable. Scared. He braced himself for what he knew was coming next. He bargained with his wolf, begging him to remain in control, begging him not to overreact.

"He nearly killed Leah. He offered her life, for my submission. He promised he wouldn't hurt anyone else, as long as I agreed to mate with him. I-I didn't know what else to do Jake. I just... didn't know what to do." She blinked back tears, her chest aching with the sadness she felt. It had been a long time since she'd faced these memories.

She steadied herself and then practically whispered the words that made Jake's wolf howl in sadness, anger flooding his veins.

"I agreed."