When she returned to college, Chiara threw herself on the bed in her room and burst into desperate tears. All finished. The heart shattered, without a shred of hope left. Suddenly she heard the door open. It was Luca who wanted to see her.
"Chiara!" he ran toward her worried as soon as he noticed that she was crying "what's going on?"
"Oh Luca.. n-nothing.. I just got homesick for a minute.. Don't mind me" she tried to smile as she wiped awat her tears. He hugged her as if to comfort her and gave her a light kiss on her wet lips. She thought for a moment and then, shaken by a rage against Colin that lived inside her, she kissed him passionately, to forget all that had happened. The boy was initially amazed, but then he relaxed and continued to kiss her. The evening came and the two were not yet tired of each other, and would have continued indefinitely if it had not been for a continuous knocking on the door. The two looked at each other and smiled tenderly, then Chiara went to open the door. There were Giulia and Clara, and they were looking rather nervous.
"Can you come out for a second? We have to talk to you." Giulia said, noting that Luca was in the room. Chiara apologized to him and went out, closing the door.
"What's up? Something wrong?" Chiara asked
"Well, yes, we actually saw that actor you likem. what's his name?.."
"Colin Firth." the girl answered coldly.
"Exactly, that, and in short, he was about to enter, but then he stopped in front of the door and turned back, only to come again a little later and give us a note, as we were at the door. He said it was an autograph for a fan and told us your name as well, he claimed you lost it, please, here it is. " Clara said in one breath.
Chiara took it in her hands and thanked her friends for giving it to her immediately. They greeted her and then returned to their rooms.
The girl went back into her room and slowly approached Luca, staring at the note.
"What did they want?"
"They gave me.. that is, they wanted to tell me something.. that is, to give me something.. a note.." she did not finish the sentence that Luca had already taken it from her hands.
"Give it back, it's important!" the girl exclaimed angrily.
"Ah-ah now I read it!" He held it high so as not to let her take it, and he started to open it, but Chiara jumped and managed to grab it.
"Never do it again, especially with important things." she looked at him seriously.
"Ok, ok, don't get mad, who knows what it can be, it's just a note from some little girls.."
"No, it's not a note from the girls, it's a note from a person far more important than insipid girls, so shut up." and she went away to read it in peace.
"One cannot even joke with you, you're so hateful. I'm going." Luca said indignantly, and went out slamming the door. Chiara did not notice, she was immersed in the words of that little piece of paper. It was written like this: 'Chiara, I know you're probably hating me right now, and you're right, it's more than fair, after what I did to you.. I do not want to ask you to leave Luca alone, because I know you like him, and that he is much younger than me. But please, I beg you with all my heart to forgive me and not to consider me an old bastard, bad and unworthy. I continue to love you. And with this, I finished. Good night.'
The girl stared in the abyss for a few minutes. She, too, continued to love Colin, though he had made her suffer. But Luca? How was she supposed to behave with him? She decided to call her aunt. Yes, her aunt would have known what to do.
"Aunt..? Excuse me.. do you have a minute?" asked the girl shyly.
"Sure honey, tell me.. how was your meeting with Colin?" The voice seemed enthusiastic.
She told her everything, by thread and by sign, without neglecting any detail.
"And so you had a fight.."
"Yes, but as I told you, he sent me that note in which he apologized and said he still loves me.. but Luca.. I don't know what to do."
"Well, I admit it's really complicated, not?! But tell me, who do you think you love more, Colin or Luca?" she asked almost guffawing. There was no answer.
"You are still there?" her aunt then asked, worried.
"Yes, I love Colin aunt, but it's impossible, do you understand? Let's say I like Luca, he's sweet and cute, but my little heart belongs to Colin now, so I believe in my heart that I'll have to leave them both, or I'll have to stay with Luca, Colin is impossible love. " she said in one breath, clearly sad and nervous altogether.
"Do what you believe is the best choice, but always remember that you cannot command to the heart. Goodnight darling, sweet dreams and try to reflect on everything." And having said this, her aunt hung up. Chiara remained for a few minutes motionless, thinking, sitting on the bed, then, falling into the hands of sleep, fell asleep like a baby; but her dreams were not sweet, on the contrary, they were tormented and constant nightmares, so much that she woke up the next day with a terrible headache. She went to have breakfast, and noticed that Luca was sitting alone at a table in the corner of the room. After saying goodbye to Clara and Giulia, she went to see him.
"Good morning." she told him with a forced smile, because of the pain. Luca did not answer, he was still annoyed by the behavior she had towards him.
"Oi, what's wrong?" She asked in a faint voice.
"Oh, nothing.. look, you got mad at a stupid piece of paper, I do not know what I should do." he replied, then, annoyed as he poured milk into his cup.
"But you talk about yesterday..? Excuse me, I did not want to.. I thought you would not get upset for something like that.." she put a hand on her aching temple.
"Alright, it does nothing, just keep calm a little bit.. Anyway.. how are you?"
"Bad, bad.. I slept badly last night and I have a terrible pain in my head, I think I'll go back to my room and for today I'll skip the English literature lesson."
"Ah, I'm sorry.. I'm fine now," he said smiling, and kissed her on the forehead.
She smiled at him, then drank some hot tea and went to her room. She stretched out on the bed still unmade and picked up the note received the day before. She read it again one, two, ten times without ever getting tired, and the pain became more and more attenuated every time. * It is as if it were my medicine.. * she thought to herself, leaving looming nostalgia.
"How much I miss him.." she then said with a trembling voice. She turned her head on the pillow and tried to stifle the tears that burst on her destroyed face. She fell asleep shortly thereafter, and only woke up when Luca touched her shoulder.
"The teacher said you can stay in bed even this afternoon if you need it. By the way, how are you?" The thoughtful boy asked.
"I'm better, thanks.." she whispered stretching.
"You're beautiful even when you look like dead, you know?" the boy said after a while, looking at her.
"Ahah I do not think so!" She chuckled.
"But I really believe so." And having said that, he kissed her softly.
As they exchanged effusions, they heard a timid knock on the door.
