"Everything alright..?" Chiara asked approaching him. He did not answer, but he covered his eyes with his arm. He was crying. The astonished girl stood in front of him putting her hands on his arms.
"Colin, what's wrong?" The tone of her voice became a little nervous. He did not answer her, he only sobbed. The girl resigned herself, but shortly afterwards he hugged her with enthusiasm, as if he had never did it before. She was even more astonished, but she hugged him too.
"I ... I do not want to lose you ... no, I do not want to!" Colin said aloud, after a while.
Chiara smiled.
"You will not lose me, we will not lose each other, and nothing will allow it." She told him to reassure him.
"And ... but there's ... Luca ..." he sobbed, moving away from her shoulder.
"How? But you said we'd solve ..."
"No, not at all ... he wants to tell Livia ... but if we break up, nobody will know anything." And then he cried even more.
Chiara raised her head and stared into space.
* Then I'm not the bad one. * She thought, * so he wants to separate us. *
"Well, I do not know what to say, you're his father and you should not let him order you, he's your son, not your director or boss, your son! I think you would be wrong if you do that, but your dignity is at stake, to be seen with me would ruin your reputation. "
Colin looked at her seriously and took her face.
"I do not want to lose you, and my reputation does not matter, only Livia, because she would take my children away from me, and in spite of everything, they're still the most important, beside you ... I know I've never been a good father, we have seen the results, but a little respect ... for my old heart! "
Chiara kissed him softly, then whispered:
"I will love you anyway, whatever your choice will be."
Colin calmed down and tried to smile at her. He would have gone mad if he lost her. She smiled too, then took his hand and made him sit on the bed.
"Would you like something to drink?" she asked softly.
"Maybe a hot tea ... if you do not mind."
"I'm going to get it from the cafeteria and in 5 minutes I'll be back." she kissed his forehead tenderly and left the room. Colin stared at what happened outside the window. He did not want to lose Chiara, but neither his children. Although he did not care so much about his reputation, being seen with her would be a real scandal. His head was bursting with too many intricate and unsolvable thoughts. He wanted to disappear. He laid down on the bed, and without wanting it he fell asleep. The girl entered the room shortly thereafter and as soon as she saw him, so sweet and helpless, she tried to do as little as noise possible in order not to wake him up. She sat down next to him, put the tea on the bedside table and then went away. She stood looking at him for endless minutes full of love. Then she decided to get up and clean the room a little. There were days since she did not do it. Her room was a pigsty, or at least that was how she called it. She started bending some shirts and putting them in the closet. They all smelled of him. She sniffed them and remained inebriated. It was almost like a drug. It was time for lunch and Colin was still asleep. Chiara finished tidying up, so she approached him to wake him up.
"Hey ..." she whispered putting a hand on his face "it's lunch time"
Colin closed his eyes and smiled at her.
"I'm not so hungry, but I think maybe you are ..." she continued.
"No, me neither."
"You were sleeping like an angel, you looked so beautiful that I did not wake you up right away ..."
Colin put a hand on the back of her head and kissed her lips gently.
"Too bad that this must be one of our last kisses." He suddenly told her.
"So you've decided."
"I think it's the only thing to do."
"Hmm ..."
"I know you do not want to, but ... I cannot lose my children, and neither you, but it's so difficult."
"Colin, Colin I know you do it more for your reputation, of course, and that's fine, I'll do as you said." Chiara was very serious. He was amazed. He believed it would be more difficult.
"Well, so ..."
"So what?"
"So ... tomorrow I will go and we will have to say goodbye ... forever ..."
"Apparently, yes." She got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She cried, cried and cried. They would be separated again. And this time it would be forever. She had preferred to be double-faced. She tried to accept it, but it was impossible. When she got out of the bathroom, Colin was not there. She sighed disappointed and went to bed. She fell asleep immediately, even if there was still light outside. When she woke up it was because of a nightmare. The first of a long series. All related to Colin. The cause of all the bad things.
It was morning, the red sun lit up the whole room. She got up and went to look out the window. She began to cry again, this time she did it silently, as if she was ashamed of herself. Long, tearful minutes passed, and a knock at the door waked her. She turned abruptly and decided not to open.
"Whoever you are, go away," she said in a trembling voice.
The disturber then opened the door slowly, letting his head be visible. It was Colin.
"I told you to leave." The girl said nervously.
"How could I leave without saying goodbye ..?"
"You decided to leave even if you 'care so much'. It's all bullshit, Colin. Now go away and never look for me again. "
Colin stared at her in disbelief, but pushed by something, he kissed her anyway, on the cheek. She closed her eyes and pushed him away.
"Now go."
"I will not forget you, you will always be mine, and what I said was not bullshit, but think of it as you want. Goodbye. "He turned and walked towards the door. Before leaving, he turned back and whispered:
"I love you", then he closed the door and left.
Chiara collapsed on the bed crying, she had lost everything.
* Do not take it so badly, he does not really love you ... or maybe he does ... well anyway, he does not love you enough. He's gone. He is double-faced. Do not cry for someone like that. * She wiped her tears, then got dressed and went downstairs to have breakfast. The canteen was desolating. On the radio was playing a song by Gabrielle, "Out of reach". It hit her quite badly as it spoke of a perhaps unrequited love. She lost herself listening to it, alone and sad in that huge canteen. Then someone came. Someone very noisy, since the door opened with a kind of noise. Chiara recognized him. Luca. As soon as he saw her, he approached her. He smiled at her, but she drank all the milk in a hurry and then got up to go back to her room. She ran to not find herself again in front of the bastard. He also had the guts to smile at her! She locked the door in order not to expect any other unexpected events. She was alone again, but it was better that way. She sat down on the bed, then he heard some ticking coming from the window. She looked out and saw Luca. She opened the window and spat.
"Hey, hey, wait, no, do not close the window, I have to talk to you!" He exclaimed, moving his arms.
"You're a monster, a bastard and an asshole, get out before I throw something at you."
"Wait, it's important, let me get up, I'll die of cold."
"For me you can also stay out there, you moron."
"Chia, please." His expression became serious. She was persuaded, so she let him get up.
