Eleven: Unbalanced

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I often wonder what really it is that you offer me
At least I feel your touch, even if it's just when you walk on me
Your mind is always elsewhere, it's there, it's on, then it's off of me
I wanna feel your depth, but your heart is deaf when you talk to me
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Pamela's POV:

"Why do you love him?"

"What?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes not leaving the road, "why do you love him this much?"

"Is this another game?"

My body and soul were both tired, shut down at the moment. I had no patience for his tricks. I just wanted to be left alone again, in my own head where there's nothing but emptiness remaining.

"No." He answered calmly.

I would've believed him for a second if i didn't know the monster that possessed him.

"Then why do you care?"

He didn't reply. Which was just what i hoped for. This way I could go back to my own brain, to think about absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.

The road seemed longer than usual, and he was quieter than normal. I thought he was going to gloat because his master plan worked, but he didn't mention anything. And he knew better than to provoke me; i had the power to murder him right here right now.

"What do you want to eat? He asked, still in the same calm tone.

"Nothing."

"Come on, what's your favorite place? I'll take you anywhere."

Is he actually feeling guilty? No, he's just crazy. And he's crazier to think i'd want to eat anything after what happened. My stomach was tied in knots, and all i wanted to do was throw up; as if it'll let out the anger, and the sadness all at once, to never be felt again.

"Just take me home."

"Home?"

"To the villa."

"You called it home."

"It doesn't matter. My home was wherever he was. So now i have no home. Any place could be it."

Stopping at the traffic lights, he turned to scan me. He had a look that i couldn't decipher, a look i hadn't seen before.

"Where's your family?" He asked.

"I don't have any."

His look changed to one that I was familiar with, but not from him. A sympathy look that I was used to when i was younger. People always pitied me for having no one. But I was used to it, used to being alone. It was okay.

"What happened?" He insisted on it, repeating the question twice, since i didn't answer the first time.

"I lost them twice." I leaned my head on the window, looking at the sky like i used to do when i was younger; thinking that it's some magical port that they could see me through. "The first time when i was 16, and the second time was few hours ago."

He turned his focus back to the road, not answering. I didn't expect anything else anyway, he was probably just curious. I don't expect a psychopath to sympathize with me. He probably liked what he heard, I gave him another weakness to press on.

But I didn't care. I had nothing left to lose.
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He walked into my room, his hands full of bags. I hadn't even noticed that he left after we arrived. Probably because I didn't leave my room since.

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