What A Lie Looks Like | ✓

1.12: sephine

If jaws could fall off, mine would be laying unattached on the floor right now as I stare at the familiar dark curls on the kind face of my old teacher, Ms. Banes.

"Hello Sephine, it's terrific to see you." I try to find my voice, but it's as if it had been cut out, leaving me without a way to express myself again. "Oliver sent me your performance video, but I was already here by the time I got it. Your precision and discipline have improved drastically, but you could have been pushed harder on the-"

"Why are you here?" I croak out my voice hoarse, and Ms. Banes's face falls sympathetic.

"To bring you back. Sephine, you belong at Bayard with our dance program that's thrice the size of this one. I also saw your duet, and I know that it couldn't have been easy getting the routine down with you being at a higher skill level than your partner."

I walk towards the corner of the studio to drop my bag there. "I'm sorry to tell you that you wasted a trip."

"I didn't. The team misses you, and I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me most." Ms. Banes isn't lying, but I don't want to believe her at the same time. "Your skills are being wasted here."

"They're not being wasted here," I insist, still not looking at her. At the same time, I put my pointe shoes on, "You just said that my precision and discipline have improved, so either you're lying or you just don't want to believe that I can be something without you."

She takes a shaky breath, "I have told you since you were young that you could be great. But you needed to want it. You have all the natural talent in the world, but you lost focus somewhere along the line."

I stare at her, "I am not the same girl that left in April."

"I know, I can tell just by looking at you. You're stronger, physically and mentally. But being here won't get you into Opéra national du Rhin. I am so proud of the person you've become Seph."

"Then, you should know why I can't come back."

She rubs her temples, something that Ms. Banes always did when she'd try to get something through my head but knew it was a losing battle. "I know why you think you can't come back, but I already spoke to the headmaster about you returning. She agrees it would be beneficial for the program and for you to be back where you belong."

I look up at her, not recognizing the person she's become, "What makes you think that here isn't where I belong? Ms. Banes, I'm sorry that you flew across the country, but you could have just called, and I would have saved you the trip. I'm not coming back, and there's nothing you can say to change my mind." I start to stretch while staring at the door, willing Ms. Peterson to walk through the door and ask Ms. Banes to leave.

"You've always been bullheaded, but I've never known you to be downright stupid." The words cut right through me, but I refuse to give her the satisfaction of giving in.

"Guess it must be a quality I learned from you." It slips out of my mouth, but I'm not wrong, and she knows it.

"What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?"

I chuckle bitterly, "You knew that I needed help, but you just kept piling on and ignored my problem. You demanded so much of me that I'm surprised I didn't break, but I don't hate you. I just hate the greed that changed you."

When I was younger and missing my family, Ms. Banes warm brown eyes always held love and a safe place for me, but I know that she benefitted from my sponsorships. She raised the prices for her lessons after people learned that she was instructing me, and everyone wanted to win.

"I only pushed when I knew it was something you were capable of. When you decide to come back, we'll be waiting."

"You'll be waiting a while then."