What A Lie Looks Like | ✓

2.06: sephine

Just trust Ollie, and everything will be fine. You can do this jump, and Ollie's going to catch you. Everything will be fine.

Positivity is the only thing holding me together, and Ollie's not doing much better than I am right now. "It's going to be fine, right?" He asks as we wait for our cue to walk center stage.

"Totally," But it does little to convince either of us.

"I'm sorry if I drop you."

I bend to touch my toes to keep myself loose, "You don't have to be sorry if you just catch me, and I really hope you do."

"I will. I will." Ollie repeats it, but I think it's more for his benefit than mine.

I can't remember the last time I was this nervous for a variation, but I also can't remember being this unprepared for one. There are just too many things that could go wrong, considering we've only done it in small bits and pieces breaking the moves down. We've only done the actual jump a total of two times: the first time was extremely rough with me almost slipping through his fingers, but the second time we managed to get it down, and that was earlier today.

Sascha has been barking orders all afternoon with the company to keep everyone on their toes, but he's stayed clear of me after I went and talked to him after the first time we tried the jump.

I knock on the door to Sascha's hotel room, trying not to lose my nerve. "Sephine? Shouldn't you be rehearsing with Oliver for the jump?" He asks with a confused look on his face.

"Can we talk about the jump?"

Sascha's blue eyes narrow slightly, "What about it?"

Shit. Well, too late to back down now. "We can't do this jump for the festival. Ollie and I haven't had enough time to prepare for it, and even if we had, it's still considered a dangerous jump for a reason." I try to reason, but I have a suspicion that it doesn't matter what I say in this matter.

"There's still three days before the performance. I have full faith that you two can do it. You're principal dancers for a reason, and you need to be setting an example for what the American Ballet Company represents. Maybe you should get back to rehearsing the jump. I wouldn't want to fail if I were in your shoes." It sounds like an underlying threat, and he's right. We're principal dancers and the fact that we're principal dancers with almost two decades of dance experience and still saying it's a bad idea to do it, should say something.

"You realize that this can blow up in your face if Ollie or I get hurt performing that routine, right?"

"Better make sure you get it right then. If you deliberately defy me by not performing the jump, your careers are over."

"It'll be fine. We got this."

Ollie smiles nervously at me, and I loop his arm with mine. "You're right. We can do this."

One of the stagehands is starting to usher us forward as the curtain is down, and we get into our starting positions on stage. The curtain begins to pull apart, revealing the blazing lights that beam straight on us, there's a slight pause before the music starts.

The music echoes through me like it's a part of me. The muscle memory of the past few intense rehearsals takes over, and I feel the same flying feeling that I do every performance. I love this. Ollie and I are perfectly in tune with each other and the beat of the music, but I feel the doubt creep into the back of my mind as we get closer to the jump.