skin and bones | min yoongi | *HIATUS*

2« his bedroom

The bike ride home was a quiet one, just like any other. As usual, gloom hung over me like a personal storm cloud.
As my wheels roughly trudged down the gravelly road to my apartment building, I could only shake my head to clear the hot tears from my eyes.
So what, I didn't have the money for a car. I didn't have the time for friends, or the patience for a boyfriend, despite Jimin's valiant efforts. What I did have, though, was a tiny, dusty, empty, apartment.
The last thing I had to remind me of him.
But now I was gonna lose that too.
After hauling my frail body up the stairs to the second floor of my building, I leaned against the railing to take a breather.
It wasn't my fault that I lost the weight.
I had to keep telling myself that, willing myself to believe it. Sam was sick, mom was gone, the only thing I could do was try my best to take care of him. I couldn't take all the blame, or I would only make it harder to live with myself.
As I went to unlock the door, the fresh eviction notice threatened the smile I'd promised I'd keep. But I did my best to shake my head and ignore it.
You knew this was coming, Dani.
Used to someone sleeping, I tiptoed into the apartment out of habit. The odor of hospital had once burned my nose, but now I was more than used to it.
It was less than much, but it was home.
I'd long since locked the door to the only bedroom of the apartment, maintaining my long-term living space on the couch in the main room. But now that I was leaving, it was time to suck up all my fucking grief and just pack it up.
The smell only got stronger as I approached the end of the hall. Opening the door meant opening up the floodgates to the entire ordeal. The monitors, the panic attacks, the chemo, the pain...
As soon as I turned that knob, I knew it would hit me like a truck.
But I did it anyway, for him.
And thus, the floodgates opened.

The next few hours were a pain-stricken blur. I packed away all of Sam's stupid flannel shirts, beanies, skinny jeans, wristbands, anything that reminded me of him. I spent a good thirty minutes after that crying my eyes into his All Time Low sweatshirt, the overpriced one he'd just begged me to buy when I took him to that concert.
What the hell was I doing? I couldn't just tote around my dead brother's old stuff everywhere. I wasn't a fucking psychopath.
But yet, how could I just leave it?
My phone was on silent, but the flashing lights coming from the top of Sam's dresser indicated a call and interrupted my pity party.
I hurriedly wiped my eyes and stumbled through the room to grab the phone, hopelessly praying that it was my landlord giving me another chance.
"Hey, Dani! I'm on break! I just wanted to see how you're holding up! Why'd you have to leave so early? Is everything okay?"
Ah, good old Jimin, always talking a mile a minute and being completely oblivious to his intrusiveness.
Overwhelmed, I rubbed my eyes and nose and leaned my head into my hands as I spoke.
He has good intentions, Dani. Be grateful.
"Sorry, Jimin, just family stuff. Thanks for taking my shift."
"Woah Dan, have you been crying? Do you need someone to come take care of you?"
"Jimin, I'm fine, really. Just do your job and stay sweet."
He sighed defeatedly over the phone.
Sorry, I'm just not into clingy guys.
But this one changed the subject completely.
"Hey, are you seeing someone? Or maybe you went on a blind date with some weirdo? I think it might be a stalker, or-"
I scoffed, growing irritable.
"Jimin, you've asked me a million times, I'm just-"
"No, I'm being legit. This creepy Korean dude came up to me after you left and was asking all these questions about you."
Creepy Korean dude...The one I bumped into? Why would he be asking about me?
"Well, what was he saying?"
"Just weird shit. First he was like 'Does she work here? She looks like she needs help.' Then I had to explain the whole shabang; you're not anorexic, there's nothing to worry about, blah, blah, blah. Honestly I just wondered why he was so interested."
I sighed. So he did notice.
Stop living in a dream Dani, the world can't just pretend you're invisible.
A bit more dejectedly, I asked again.
"What else did he say?"
"He was acting like he was your dad or something. He was like, 'somebody better be taking care of her' all creepy and ominous and shit. I don't get what his deal is, but I never took you for a girl who's into creeps.
And then, he asked if you were working tomorrow! I don't know about you Dan, but I'd be careful because he honestly gave me chills.."
Wow, this guy sounds even more clingy than Jimin. What's his deal? We don't even know each other.
"Dani? Still there?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking."
"So? Are you seeing that guy?"
"God no, Jimin, I don't even know him. But it's not your business anyway. Thanks for looking out for me, now get back to work please."
He sighed again.
"Okay Dani, just call me if you need anything. Feel better soon." And then the end tone.
Sorry, Jimin.
Sure, it was a little annoying having my closest friend incidentally have a crush on me. But he cared about me more than anyone else, so I couldn't just treat him like dirt.
But why was that guy so adamant about me?
The question didn't occupy me for too long; there was still a tear-soaked sweatshirt begging to be boxed up.
"Oh, Sam..." my nose was already stuffy, eyes already swollen, but the salty tears couldn't help but build up again.
My voice sounded underwater as I whispered to a voice that would never answer in utter grief, "I'm sorry."
Tears and snot ran all over my face, burning almost as much as the agony in my heart. It was the kind of crying where your chest heaved so hard you forgot how to breathe, and your head seemed to hurt so much you nearly forgot why you were crying.
But I would never forget
As the pain tore at me, I lay on my baby brother's bedroom floor, sobbing it out again and again, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't save you..." until my swollen skeleton eyes drooped shut, and as sleep claimed me, the only thing I knew was the sweatshirt I clung to my chest.

~~~

{a/n} hey reader! hope you liked chapter two! I'm still really working on being better at details and making my work seem true to human emotion, but I'm honestly pretty proud of how far I've come. Remember to never compare yourself, (in writing and in general), because everyone adapts at different speeds, and there's always room for growth :)

If you liked this chapter, I always appreciate a vote, comment, or even a share if you really liked it. Constructive criticism is also okay as long as you aren't deliberately rude about it!

As always, happy reading, and good luck on your writing journey <3

사랑해,
-라나

P.s. sorry if these notes get annoying, I just like being able to communicate to my [tiny but still appreciated] audience.