Adjustment of Attitude

Part 15

"Evan, help Tess to the shower. I don't want a word between you. Not an utterance to one another. Do I make myself clear?" Garrett's firm voice cuts through me and I watch Evan visibly shutter. We've crossed a line but his intended correction isn't clear. Both of us sit still, not moving a muscle to follow the understated command.

"Move." He growls.

Evan leaps to his feet and walks toward me. His eyes are hard. Distaste flows from every pore. It is clear my words only added fuel to his perspective of me and my desires. Under Garrett's watchful eye, he removes the bands from my arms and legs. The muscles still tingle and spasm from the shocks. Electricity is elegant in its ability to hurt without leaving a visible mark. Until that thought, I did not evaluate why Garrett chose that method of the trial. In it, I found my answer. The pain I cause by putting up unseen walls hurt others even if the outward emotions are not always visible. An inability to accept and fully reconcile all of my needs, wants and desires meant one or the other of the most important people in my life is left outside of me. Realization stabs at my heart and deeper failures crawl into my psyche.

When the removal is complete, the bands are placed on the table. Once again, Evan holds out his hand to help me stand. With an effort, I unfold my legs and try to stand but my muscles refuse to hold me. Under my weight they fold and I collapse back to the floor. The combination of kneeling caused a lack of circulation along with the immense muscle contractions, creating a place I physically need help to move. From here the shower could be another country away for all the ability I am currently able to show.

A deep sigh erupts from Evan. His disapproval of my state is obvious. There is no doubt in my mind I have ruined our dynamic. Now I work to save our relationship as lovers. I look up with pleading eyes. Everything in me wants to beg for his forgiveness though I don't know specifically for what. Without words I try to tell him I'm sorry but he ignores all efforts.

"Careful boy, we already have unfinished business." Garrett's voice cuts through the room.

"I'm sorry Master." Evan replies, his body positioned to appear perfectly chase.

"No, you are not. But I assure you, by the end of this, you will be."

Shock crosses Evan's beautiful features, contorting them in a pained expression. He turns, bends and lifts me into his arm. I close my eyes and recall the first time I was in this position. Evan had just pledged his loyalty and submission to me after more than a year of an odd combination of a vanilla and dynamic relationship. Garrett dated him and gained his pledge far before me, but in that moment I felt safe and loved in his arms. Everything about the it made me know, without a doubt, I was protected, worshiped and adored in a way only a submissive can make a dominant feel.

This felt nothing like my previous experiences. In his arms I am a burden for him to carry. A duty and task for him to perform. It leaves me heartbroken. His words ring through me, "Everything will become clear or it will all shatter." I am sure the second transpired. A tear falls down my cheek. My chin drops to my chest and I work to be small.

Evan opens the door to the Master bathroom. As a unit, we step into the space where so much of this turmoil started. He sets me to my feet and stands behind me until he is sure my body will hold the weight. The sound of water raining down through the faucet is the only one in the room. Beside me, Evan strips and grabs my arm to usher me into the shower with him.

His touch is rough as his gel covered hands slide down my body. Each movement is as conflicted as the emotions playing across his body. Touch moves from sensual to rough. One hand moves between my thighs softly until a moan escapes and in the next movement he is rough, pushing and pulling my body to access more. Without thought, my body responses to his touch and the heat builds. I'd always adored Evan's touch. A thoughtful gentle lover, he always knew exactly how to entice my body right to the edge and over it.

Today, he confuses it in a way that pulls me from arousal to frustration and back again. Emotions run in the same torrents as the water rushing over my body. The dominant part of my brain wants to snatch control and command this insanity stops but my submissive side knows to utter those words would be a volilation to Garrett's command.

I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to shrink away from it all. I want to demand I be seen and heard. Every emotion is a rush of confusion until thoughts no longer make sense.

Just when the edge of sanity seems reached, the water abruptly halts above me.

"Boy, you disappointment." Garrett's words are just above a strained whisper.

Evan's hands stop and flee from my body. My hands slam to the side of the shower to help regain my balance. A large towel wraps my body and I drink in a deep breath.

"Tess," Garrett speaks against my ear, "are you ok?"

Mentally I take an inventory. I'm not hurt and Evan's touch, while confusing, were not totally unwelcome.

"I'm just confused but not hurt or harmed." I reply with a strength I do not have inside.

"I am sorry." Garrett says and a deep sigh escapes his lips. "There is an outfit on the bed. It would please me greatly if you would put it on and meet us in the living room."

"As you wish." I answer and step out of the shower.

"I do."