courage {Niall Horan}

XXX

Social media was flooding with comments after Ellen posted a picture of us singing to try and make sure people watch the show. The comments were so enthousiastic and everyone has been thrilling to hear the song.

"So we got three weeks now" he said softly as he stood infront of me, I was sitting on the countertop in the kitchen, a beer in my hand to celebrate the Ellen show.

"Unless something happens back home, but let's hope that won't." I said softly. "I can start traveling more now. Now that the foundation has it's own management, I don't have a regular job anymore and my only worry is the kids."

"I'm going on tour soon. You could be my plus one. During the Europe leg, it's never a long flight back home if needed." He said as he took a step closer to me. A small grin on his face.

"I will be in the US for a while if we start a facility here." I said, "there might be no plans for me moving here, but there can be plans to be here very often."

"So, just to make sure I got it right, our only excuse isn't a valid one anymore?" He said and I nodded slowly, biting down on my lower lip softly as I looked at him. He took the last step towards me and stood between my legs, wrapping his arms loosely around my waist. I placed my hands around his neck, letting his hair slip through my fingers. I missed this feeling. I missed the way it felt that one night.

I missed him.

His eyes were nothing like they were that night on his bed, they were filled with hunger and passion that night. Right now they tell me he's scared.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I moved my hand from the back of his neck to the side of his head. His hair has grown longer since the last time, so I brushed it to the side gently.

"Nothing, everything's fine." He said happily but his voice and smile told the opposite of his eyes. I never used to believe you could see someone's feelings in their eyes, but Niall is an open book.

"Tell me." I said again and he let out a soft sigh.

"Tonight is about celebrating the Ellen show, the foundation and to having a few weeks together again." He said

"I'm not going to enjoy tonight if you aren't."

"I'm just a little scared I guess."

"Of what?" I asked

"Of losing you again. I know we still talk and videochat, but it's not the same. I'm just scared that once you get on that plane, it might be another nine months again before I see you. I know there is hope we might finally be able to make this work, but it won't take long untill things come inbetween and we grow away from eachother." He said softly as he looked away from me.

"You're not going to lose me. I won't let you." I said softly before making him look at me again.

"I love how in your letter you wrote that time apart might give the effect we wanted on our feelings, to get our shit together. In your exact words. But honestly, I think it did the opposite for me. It made me want you even more." I laughed a little as he said that before looking him in the eyes.

"I'm glad it didn't only have that effect on me." I said softly, his eyes were so gentle now. "But don't think I'm going to let you go. You're my best friend and I don't care what happens and how we end up, I'm not going to let anyone or anything ruin the friendship we have."

"Do you think we could ever make it work to become more?"

"I can't predict the future." I said softly "most people don't have to deal with things like this and I still haven't figured out how to deal with it either. But I know that if we really want this, we will figure something out. I can travel more now and you'll be closer while on the Europe leg of the tour. We just have to see what time brings us."

"I want to be with you, Charlotte." He finally said, he leaned his head against the hand I had against the side of his head, wanting to get more out of the soft touch I had on him.

"And I want to be with you. It's just timing and distance I guess. I think we just have to see how things go from now on." I said as I looked at him with a small smile. "I don't mind trying to see where it takes us, as long as what we have right now, this friendship, will last even if it doesn't."

"So you don't think it will work out?" He asked, his voice slow and soft trying to figure this out.

"The only way to make it work in the long term is if I move here. Which is something I would consider if we work out. The only thing that keeps me in Ireland is the foundation, but as I'm currently just the owner of it and only have voluntary working with the kids, I can just go to Europe for a week every month or something. I got nothing left of family and friends can be made everywhere. I can move, but I need to know that I'm moving for a reason and something for the long term." I said and I was telling the truth, I would move for him if we would work out. I having nothing to loose and everything to gain if I do.

"Then let's find out if we can do this on the long term." He said with a small smile. "So monday night, 8pm, I chose a place, we both dress nice and at the end you let me pay."

"I think that sounds like a date." I said with a small grin.

"It might sound like that." He said as he mirrored my grin.

"I hope I brought something nice" I replied and he smiled, happy but that scared look wasn't gone yet. "Just one rule, it's our secret. Friends may know ofcourse but it can not get into magazines or on social media, not untill we know for sure."

"That's a rule I agree with. It's just our little secret, untill we're sure of it." He said with a smile