Self Help Book

Self Esteem

No matter who you are, you have most likely dealt with some form of self esteem issues. You have probably felt the need to change something about yourself in order to please others. I'm here to tell you that there's many ways to boost your self esteem and to make yourself a better and happier you. I hope you'll learn to love yourself and instead of drowning in the negativity, you'll learn and grow from it. 

Coping method 1.) Start a compliment jar. Everyday, write down something about yourself that you like. It can be as big of things as your ability to make people laugh, or small things such as the little specks of green in your blue eyes. You can even have some of your friends write down things they like about you to put in the jar if you have trouble listening to your own judgements. Whenever you feel down or insecure, just reach into the jar, pull out one of the pieces of paper, and read whatever compliment is on the paper. Reflect on the compliment and grow from it. The more you state things about yourself that you like, the more you'll grow to love yourself.

Coping method 2.) Kill off the idea of being 'perfect' or 'flawless'. Perfectionism is honestly unachievable. Just imagine how terrible it would be to be 'perfect.' What's the point to life if you're unable to grow and better yourself as a person? It's like finishing the entirety of a video game. Yeah it may seem satisfying to have perfected every move and to have beaten every boss, but now that the game is beaten you have nothing left to gain from the game. Having flaws and weird quirks is completely normal. 

Coping method 3.) Find out the reason why you dislike something about yourself. Finding the root of the problem makes it so much more easier for you to overcome it. For example, something I hate about myself is my insomnia. I hate the feeling of being tired, yet never being able to fall asleep. I hate the fact that it makes me loose focus and that I have trouble in school because of it. Now think about the main thing you don't like about yourself. Why don't you like it? Do you yourself have a reason for not liking it, or did someone else not like it. If you're sure your dislike towards one of your flaws isn't a pressure from society, then it's easier to either learn to love it or easier for you to change it without fully changing yourself. If you don't like, let's say, your stomach because it's not the ideal structure you'd like it to be, then it's easy to decide what to do about it. Is your larger stomach a health issue? Is it physically uncomfortable? If so, then simple dieting and exercising is the way to go to ensure you're becoming the best you. But, if you're comfortable with your stomach and it really doesn't bother you much except when you look at photos of other people and when others point it out, then you should probably try to work more on accepting your judgements over other people's. Dont change just because someone else wants you to. If you must change something about yourself, do it to better yourself and to make yourself feel confident and comfortable. Doing things you don't like for the sake of other people will only hurt you in the long run.

Coping method 4.) Set a small goal for yourself everyday. If you're a person who feels as if they can't accomplish things or do anything right, then you should definitely give this method a go. Do small goals each day and set a bigger goal at the end of each week.

Ex: Today I'd like to tidy up my closet. Tomorrow I'd like to reorganize my book shelf. By the end of the week, I'd like to have my entire, if not, a majority of my room cleaned and organized. 

By setting small goals that are within reach of accomplishing, you're not only making yourself be more productive, but you're letting yourself strive towards achievements. You'll feel more positive and more proud of yourself the more you continue with this method.

Coping method 5.) Surround yourself with positive people. This may seem difficult to do, but I can assure that within the next few months of you ridding anyone that only brings you down, you'll feel a lot better. 

Ex: Stacey from math class is always helping people and smiling. Maybe I should try talking to her more. Grandpa Rusty is always complaining about my career choice and about how I'm a failure. Maybe I should try avoiding him at the family cookouts and instead try talking to my younger cousins. 

By surrounding yourself with more positive people that love and support you, their positivity will influence you and you'll become happier. 

Coping method 6.) Self care. Take a bath, get your hair done, start eating healthier. Take care of yourself. The better you feel, the better you'll be be. Every evening, just relax to some calming music. Switch out soda for tea. Start your mornings off with a jog around the neighborhood. Get rid of things that are hurting you. Stop wearing the waist trainer if you hate it so much or at least limit your use of it. Try to stop smoking if you know it's only harming you. Caring for your body and treating it accordingly will benefit you and boost your confidence.