The Forgotten Keepsake

Chapter 12

XII

If Guy had been worried that Mina had forgotten him, he shouldn't have been.

No, she had not forgotten him.

Not one little bit.

Had she found a man to love perhaps she would have forgotten him but no, that was not what had happened.

If Guy's life had been hard, then it was fair to say that Mina had her very own story to tell of hardship. She had been poor as a church mouse when she had met him and although she was somewhat better off now, she was still poor – just as her parents always had been. Her father had been an old man, frail and in poor health and alas her mother, though younger and healthier, did not survive bringing Mina into the world. So it was just the two of them, father and daughter left to struggle and somehow muddle through this life, living hand to mouth in Castlebrook. That was the child Guy met back then, the little girl with practically only a stuffed toy and a pebble to her name.

In the aftermath of what happened there and finding themselves homeless, the little girl and the old man were fortunate enough to be able to take refuge with a family in Clun for a brief spell and then with relatives in York. It was in York that her father's health began to fail in earnest and so Mina found herself, at eleven summers old, burying her father and facing a future at the mercy of some distant cousin.

Her father had always been a kind man; his relatives however, were not. The cousin and his family were loathe to have another mouth to feed and so made sure that Mina earned every morsel with hard work. This slighted existence went on for a few years until the cousin decided to marry her off. She was then fifteen.

She had not loved her husband. How could she? It had not been a match of her making to someone she could have loved and so she had tried to make the best of it, resigning herself to a marriage of convenience. She'd had to grow up fast – a young bride tied to a much older man who had not particularly cared for her, indeed had not even tried to – the love of his life had been the bottle and not even Mina's beauty or endless attempts at patience with him had been able to change that.

But her heart had whispered to her all the same, reminding her of a certain boy; the only one she had ever looked at in that way. Yes, she had only been a child then and could barely understand what she had been feeling for him but later on as she began to grow into a woman and was forced into the role of a wife, with all that attended it, that was when her crush blossomed into something else altogether.

How could it not? In the absence of someone to love and return that love, she clung to Guy's memory. He took on new form in her mind, she imagined sitting with him holding hands, talking with him, teasing him, hugging him tightly and having him return her embrace...

...him kissing her, touching her, making love to her...

All the things she longed to experience with a man, a friend, a partner, a lover she did with him in her mind. In this way he became much more to her than he could ever know. He was her constant companion for many a lonely year – her consolation for all that she could not have, this beautiful, kind and loving man, perfect as he was - for he was her own creation.

But it was bittersweet for as much as he could be to her, this man did not exist.

Guy existed, he was alive and real and she had once known him but that person – that beautiful boy she had so looked up to was long gone from her life. And this fantasy man she had dreamt up was all that she had left.

For the most part she thanked God she had met him for she did not know how she could have got through her life without him. In particular, her life with her husband, all six years of it until the fool got in a drunken brawl and died of his injuries, had been difficult to bear and she would not have been without Guy in her thoughts. But there were also times where she found herself choking on bitter tears, wishing she could really have had a life with somebody to love as she did in her imaginings.

And now here he was.

Guy.

The man.

Flesh and blood.

And she was so happy that he lived.

That life had thrown them together once more.

It was so overwhelming; she wondered that she could contain herself.

How could she bear so much happiness?

She kept thinking that she would wake up any moment, that this was all so wonderful it could not be real, that surely Guy would fade away and be replaced instead with the dreaded form of her husband, who was not dead but had somehow lived on to make the rest of her life a misery.

But it didn't happen.

Thank the Lord and the heavens above.

Guy was still there, sitting opposite her under the old oak tree and it was all she could do not to crawl into his lap, nuzzle her head against his chest and never leave that spot again.

Could you ever know how much I love you?

I don't even know you but I do... I love you so much.

And I will probably never have the guts to tell you any of this but there it is...

I love you.