The Forgotten Keepsake

Chapter 19

XIX

"I don't understand. Why did she not want to marry you?" Guy smiled upon hearing this and considered pulling her close for another kiss but knew that this was certainly not the moment.

"Not everybody thinks so well of me as you do little one"

In fact, nobody does.

"Yes but then why agree to an engagement?"

"It is... complicated..." Guy was visibly bristling now "I think she felt she had no choice in the matter."

You didn't give her any.

"Was it her father? Was he forcing her to marry you?" Not knowing any better and having lived the life she had lived, it was no wonder that this was Mina's first thought as to what had occurred here.

"No, but he knew I was in a good position to protect her..."

"From what?"

"From the Sheriff"

"Why would she need...?" Mina's voice trailed off upon noticing his thunderous expression. She instinctively knew when it was best to drop a touchy subject and had quickly learned that when it came to Guy, any discussion of the Sheriff was very touchy indeed.

An uncomfortable silence followed. She longed to ask him questions but was scared that he would leave if she did, so she just sat there, trying to think of something to say, torn between wanting to know more about it for herself and not wanting to know anything about it so that he would feel better. It was the moment he tucked the necklace in his shirt that made up her mind whether to say any more on the subject or not.

"You must love her very much."

He froze.

She had him there.

What was it exactly that he felt for Marian?

Did he love her?

That must be what it looks like – he was wearing a wedding ring – the wedding ring that was meant for her - on a necklace around his neck, close to his heart.

For the longest time he said nothing, what could he say in response to that? He really didn't know. The silence dragged on for what seemed like an eternity until he eventually whispered,

"I don't think I know what love is Mina."

*****

Good riddance to Harold of Winchester.

Guy had often felt remorse for people he'd killed but Winchester was not one of them. The old man had caused more trouble than he could ever know.

Guy had always thought that he knew what it was that he wanted, that he knew his own heart but now he wasn't so sure. He had just been getting used to the situation with Marian – accepting all that had happened between them - her initial coldness towards him, the awkward engagement, the disastrous wedding and more recently her attempts to follow and manipulate him. He thought that he could just ignore how he felt about her, that he would just have to be the master of his feelings and all would be well. But of course it wasn't that simple. Winchester's visit had dragged all those repressed emotions up to the surface and if he had been in turmoil upon leaving Mina standing there in the field at Castlebrook, he was now feeling all of that but on a whole new level.

He cared deeply for Marian, he could no longer deny that, he had hated her for what she had done to him but despite all that, he could now see that it was no use – he cared for her still. Mina had seen it, she seemed to know him better than himself and now he was ever so sorry for it.

He lay upon his bed at Locksley and closed his eyes; he could see the scene in the field now, hear her words and he felt ashamed.

"It's alright you know... I'm just glad to have got the chance to see you again..."

"Mina please..."

"I knew that you would have someone to love... of course... I mean look at you! Master of Arms in Nottingham..." Her attempt at a smile was breaking his heart.

"Please..."

"I always thought you'd be married to a fair lady, living in a grand hall, with little ones running around, wearing you and your servants out..."

He just wanted her to stop, it was agony watching her trying to be cheerful, he could hardly bear it.

"...and one day you will be..."

Little one please don't do this.

And so he found himself, for the second time in his life, on the receiving end of one of her consoling hugs whilst she took her leave of him, trying to be brave, trying so hard not to cry and he felt as low as if he had burnt her home to the ground all over again.