Josh's POV
Warning: Mention of self hate
I've barely slept in days.. The only reason I slept last night was because I was exhausted. I got out of bed. I wasn't in the mood to go investigate the commotion.
I walked over to my desk and started breaking shit. Mirrors,drawers,doors and my clock. I'd had enough. So I slumped against the wall and cried.
I heard footsteps coming towards my room. I hoped it was Vik.
The door creaked open. But no one appeared.
"Vikk?" I asked mid sniffle
Simon stepped through the door,concern and curiosity painted on his face. He opened his arms and stared at me. What is he doing?
I finally realised he was inviting me for a hug. I gladly accepted. I cried into his warm embrace,only for him to hold me tighter.
"Josh what happened?" He asked concern laced in my voice
"I-i though I could protect V-vik"
"Protect Vik from what?"
"S-simon promise to s-stay my f-friend" a hint of urgency in my voice
"I promise Josh" he said sincerely
2 hours later...
Simon stayed while I edited my videos. He would ask the question now and again
"What happened Josh?"
But I couldn't bring myself to answer, I could only cry. I wasn't ready to tell him. Not yet. But I had a few other things to discuss
"Hey Simon. I really missed seeing you these past couple of days and we were worried if you were ok. JJ was worrying the most out of all of us. He'd pace up and down his room all night. He really cares about you. We really care about you" I said in a caring voice
"I care about you guys too. I'm sorry I was so distant and I now realise how much it hurt you guys to wait. But anyway how you doing Josh?" He said in a sincere voice
"I'm doing good. Thanks for taking care of me Simon! Your a real pal!" I said in a chirpy tone
"No problem mate anyway I gotta go and edit videos but if you need me I'll be in my room"
"Ok... Have fun editing. Don't work too hard. See ya in a bit mate" I said in a chill voice.
Once we had finished talking Simon waved and then left to edit videos.. Nothing new. I could tell he had other questions on his mind while we spoke.
I have finished editing. Finally! I suddenly realize I haven't eaten at all today and so I start walking down the stairs to the kitchen. I made it to the kitchen. Still no sign of Vik or JJ. I'm starting to worry
I grab some food and head back to my room,scuttling away silently like golem from LoTR. I make it to my room and start to gorge on the food I had just taken. My stomach growling in approval.
Once finished all my food. I walked over to my bathroom and just looked at myself in the mirror. I'm a piece of shit. I realised I'm ugly I'm fat and I do not deserve friends.
I walked over to my desk and started punching my monitors repeatedly. I didn't deserve my fans.
I walked over to the sink in the bathroom and started to try and force throwing up. I trued and tried until I was hunched over the sink breathless.
I heard someone clear their throat and I looked. It was Simon. He opened his arms once again. I softened immediately and shuffled into his embrace.
"S-simon please tell me JJ isn't coming back. He's a prick" Josh said sadly into my chest.
He chuckled.
"Why is he a prick Josh?"
"I don't wanna say. I'll tell you later. I promise" I said in a baby voice.
"Your gonna have to tell me at some point Josh"
I turned around and huffed. Why is he so eager to know. All I want is reassurance
"S-simon can I go to bed?"
"Sure Josh I'll leave you to sleep buddy"
"N-no please stay! Can we c-cuddle?"
"Cuddle?"
"Yeah please stay I get lonely sometimes"
"Ookay then. I'll stay. Just don't get too touchy feely"
"Ok Simon"
I got in bed eagerly. I really wanted a cuddle. I patted the spot next to me but Simon seemed hesitant. I get it.
Its kinda weird for a male friend to want to cuddle at 9 in the morning. But aw well fuck it. Simon has been zoned out for a bit so I clap to get his attention.
He almost immediately looks at me. I patted the spot next to me once again this time for him to get in. Glad he has accepted this.
He got in and faced my way and for the first time in a while. I smiled but not a fake one, a genuinely happy one. He returned a half hearted smile and turned around.
I don't know why but it felt right. I wrapped my arms around his chest and felt him stiffen then relax. I guess I freaked him out a bit.
I closed my eyes and let myself drift away into sleepytown.
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
Dripping ▪
Diversos"But first take me out of here, out of a world that isn't real. Before I lose the keys to a mind I used to own and forget all about you" "Where are you?" "Nowhere and everywhere babe. So come find me when you wanna. I'll be there"
