Miles Away | Nick Mara

Four

We all sat in silence for the next few minutes, munching down on the pizzas and slurping the drinks. I watched as they stuffed two slices at once, and couldn't help but laugh, breaking the silence. They all looked at me as I burst into a giggle fit.

"Don't judge the way we eat," Edwin said seriously, his mouth full of food. "This is the pretty way."

That only made me laugh even more. When they also began to laugh, it became obvious that they weren't really being serious. Edwin ended up choking on his food, and had to spit it all out in the trash. We couldn't stop laughing as he complained about how we made him waste a slice of pizza.

By 11 o'clock, we were sprawled all over the sofa and floor, watching a movie on the TV. Zion lay on the floor, half-asleep, Austin lay beside him, fully asleep. Brandon was slowly falling asleep on one side of the sofa while Edwin sat with his back against the wall, watching the movie.

Nick sat beside me on the sofa. Our thighs and arms gently touched each other. I yawned, tired from everything that had happened today. Without thinking, I tilted my head to the side, resting it on Nick's shoulder. I realized soon after that it was probably a bad idea, but he didn't seem to mind. It was a familiar and comfortable position. He didn't seem to care too much either.

I could feel him breathe; his body moved up and down rhythmically, and I could almost feel the air entering and exiting his lungs. I didn't know if he was awake or not, but I didn't want to look. It would probably become awkward as soon as our eyes met. Just a little longer, I said to myself, and closed my eyes.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard Nick's voice.

"I missed you," he said softly.

He definitely wasn't asleep. I held my breath. Should I pretend to be asleep? Or should I reply? After a moment, I sat up again.

"I missed you too."

"Sorry," he smiled. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

I shook my head, smiling back. "You didn't. I wasn't sleeping."

I sat with my back against the side of the sofa, facing him. He seemed tired, but tried to keep his eyes open. I couldn't help but laugh at his struggle.

It was silent now; the movie had finished, and everyone else had fallen asleep. Zion stirred in his sleep, moving from side to side, but other than that, nobody moved.

Nick and I looked at each other for a while. His brown eyes stared into mine, sparkling and reflecting the dim lights from the kitchen. After a few seconds, he spoke.

"You have orange flecks in your eyes," he said.

I nodded with a smile.

"I never noticed."

With a shrug, I opened my eyes wide. He chuckled before looking at me again.

"So are you dating anybody?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows, surprised at the random question.

"I mean," I started, trying to clarify. "Brandon and Edwin have started dating, so I was just wondering if you'd found somebody."

He laughed softly before shaking his head. "Nope, I haven't." He paused. "Have you?"

I shook my head with a sigh. "It took me a while to get over us," I joked.

But it wasn't a joke. It really did take me a while to get over him. It was harder because the reason for our break up wasn't that we stopped loving each other. I was still in love with him.

Nick looked at me without speaking.

Finally, he said, "Why did we break up...?"

I watched him as he played around with the sleeve of his hoodie. He wasn't smiling anymore; he looked sad.

"I lied," he said.

"About what?"

"I knew we could work it out," he continued. "But I was scared."

I paused. "Scared of what?"

"I don't know... I was just scared."