Daryl and Rick AU

Chapter 19

Daryl's POV

"Expect me to say that?"

I ask looking down him.

"You were just so-"

He starts to say as he got up from the floor, before doing that he tapped my knee to say that he was done wiping my knuckles.

"Quiet. After it happened"

He finishes.

I watched him as he put the small First Aid bag into the bottom drawer and leaned against the desk in front of me.

He crossed his arms as if waiting for a response with a small smirk still on his face.

"Was I supposed to say somethin'?"

I asked. First time having sex with a man, how was I gonna act in that moment? My stomach churned as I remembered that night. I knew I liked the way he had touched me yet that made me sick. The horrid words my dad would say were running in my mind. I looked down to keep my composure.

"Are you-"

He put his hand onto my shoulder and came closer to me.

I quickly flinch at contact which makes Rick back away slowly.

"I'm-I'm fine. Okay?"

I stutter softly

"It's sounds like you're trying to reassure yourself more than me"

I knew he was right but I didn't move from my position of looking down so I wouldn't look into his eyes.

"I-"

He starts to say but stops himself. I slowly peer through my hanging brown hair and see his head hung slightly looking at the floor.

I grunt softly to get some response out of him. That was my way of asking

What was it?

He sighed roughly which annoyed me in someway. It sounded like he was fed up about this and automatically I assumed it was my fault. I've always done that. Ever since my old man started beating me over nothing. Anytime someone is irritated, I always assume it's about me.

"It's just-"

He shifts his position to face me properly. Now the side of his left thigh was leaning on the desk while he put his hands into his pockets nervously. His eyes staring at me.

"I feel like I pressured you into saying that. That you have feelings for me. I don't want you saying something that you'll regret later."

I heard a strange tone come out of his voice. It was apologetic which was weird cause he had nothing to be sorry about, like I've told him already. I told him what I felt and I'm pretty sure I meant it but I just couldn't react. Couldn't respond to what he said because his voice, being apologetic was something I've never heard directed toward me in some time. I've never thought I would get to hear that again. In a twisted way, him feeling sorry made me feel relief as it was finally not might fault yet I still hated myself for that anyway. I was even confusing myself over the thought.

"Daryl. I do like you. A lot. When we had s-"

"Don't."

I blurt out suddenly. Saying that Rick and I had sex was hard for me to say to myself let alone it being said out loud. It's not like I wanted to hurt him, It was just too soon. The look on his face made my stomach sink. His mouth hung open slightly as his brows tightly came to the middle.

"Well at least you're being a bit verbal."

He says lifting his weight away from desk. He made a light chuckle as well, It was a failed attempt to not feel so distraught even though his face showed it already.

"I only said that because I didn't want to hear you use that word. I'm not quite ready for that yet"

"What? S-"

"Yes"

I blurt out again whilst turning my gaze away to the closed door

"I'm sorry"

He says yet I don't answer. Only try and search for my backpack which I see placed on the floor a few inches to the side of me.

I slowly stood up and collected it. Adjusting it around my shoulders. I tightly held the straps that were on my chest and bit my lower lip.

I paused to take a quick glance at Rick still standing near the desk. The corners of his lips where directed towards the floor and were trembling slightly. I gulped nervously and took a step toward him. Still looking down, I felt my stomach doing all kinds of movements that made me feel sick with excitement, although not showing it.

As I got closer to him, almost smelling his scent, I mustered up the strength to finally look up to his ocean blue eyes.

"You didn't pressure me into saying that"

I muttered to him. I took another step. Are chests touching, with my hands still holding onto the straps on my bag, I could feel his heart beat climb along with mine. Are faces so close. I saw his eyes dart up to my eyes and down to my lips repeatedly.

"You never did"

I whispered. My lips brushing over his sending a tingle throughout my body. I looked at his slightly pink lips. I wanted to kiss them. I knew I did yet I froze. Still second guessing whether I should. But as I thought that, I saw him smile and open his mouth to speak.

"Daryl. May I kiss you?"

I anxiously nod once and then feel his right hand cup under my chin as he leaned in...