I can't stand you

7 Jinyoung

I watched Jaebum closely that night and I was really surprised. He always seemed so confident, strong, cocky, and full of energy. But tonight I saw a completely different side of Jaebum.

I knew he may have overdone his confidence to coverup things, but I never expected to see how weak he was on the inside.

Seeing him crashing in my arms, shaking so much he can't walk straight... it sent something through me. I wasn't sure what I was feeling, but I was feeling something.

I had feelings for him, I knew that the first time he flirted with me. The spark he sent through me that made my stomach tingle... I knew I had a crush... but now it felt like something more than that.

I woke up the next morning to see Jaebum was gone. I quickly checked the back of the truck but he wasn't there either... I left the truck and looked around the park hoping he was still there... we had so much to talk about.

I looked off towards the field and saw him sitting in the grass. I walked over and carefully sat next to him, he wasn't shaking nearly as much as yesterday... but his hands were still shaking.

"How long have you known?" I asked gently, neither of us made eye contact.

"I've known for a few years now that I could end up with it... That I could become wheelchair bound... I tried to ignore it and focus on helping my mom... she works but she can only do so much." Jaebum said and I bit my cheek.

Still without eye contact being made I reached over and took one of his shaky hands in my steady one.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked squeezing his hand gently.

It barely shook in my grasp and it made me smile, I hoped it brought some comfort to him.

"My mom. It's been a week but I already have some pretty bad signs of it... I already shake so much sometimes I can't walk properly so I don't know how long I'll last.. I've been thinking about her getting a caregiver... someone to help when she has bad days." He explained while rubbing his thumb around my hand.

I moved so I was facing him, our hands still connected in his lap and gave him a gentle smile. He returned it and began to play with my fingers as I watched him.

"What do these bad days include?" I asked being curious how bad they got.

"She can usually get away with using a walker or someone to just help her... but on bad days she can't walk at all. She shakes a lot and sometimes it's to the point she can't feed herself because of how bad she's shaking... she'll be too weak to do basically anything on her own... even simple tasks like using the bathroom.. it's really hard." He said his voice quiet and I could tell he had experienced a lot of bad days with her.

My mind quickly thought about him. What would happen when he had a bad day? Who would take care of him and help him with those simple tasks? I couldn't do much while still running a lemonade stand in a park... I didn't even have a bathroom in my van.

Before I could wonder more he stood up and I looked up at him. He had a distant look in his eyes that made me feel afraid.

"I have to go check on my mom, I'll see you later." He said but something in me told me it was a goodbye.

Quickly I stood up and pulled him towards me. With a gentle but rough grip I connected our lips. Jaebum widened his eyes before closing them and placing a shaky hand behind my neck.

As I pulled away I smiled slightly and sighed.

"See you soon." I said but we both seemed to know it was a lie.