I'll Give Up ( JinHwi )

Sixteen

Months have passed, they have successful comebacks, their first title track was once again back at the charts. People from all over the world acknowledge them as one of the most influential idols in the industry, nation's pick, indeed. They have accomplished the things they wanted to achieve, the new houses and apartments, small business in form of cafe and restaurant, producing songs, and more but every time someone mentioned this success, it will be followed with,

"Such a shame, they are disbanded."

Months have passed, they have parted with their respective companies. Hwang Minhyun was back to his original group, same goes with Ha Sungwoon. Like what they have planned, Guanlin will be debuting in a Duo with Yoo Seonho with just a little more practice. Jisung and Daniel debuted again but with new members, they are the first to debut again among Wannaone, jokingly saying that Jisung is being waited by military service but they know that it's deeper than the way they say it. Kim Jaehwan immediately have a project to work with an OST for a drama where one of the characters is Ong Seongwoo, now known as a singer actor. Park Jihoon was having a rough time with his company, but said that he's doing fine, the constant support of Guanlin seems to help a lot. Lee Daehwi as expected debuted with Park Woojin and MXM, making them a powerful rookie group, having all members familiar with producing music. Then here comes Bae Jinyoung. He debuted as an actor singer too, being casted here and there because his face suited so much in a drama. He's famous deep-dark face getting deeper and darker each months passed by. He would tell that he's doing just fine and shouldering his whole company wasn't that hard, just stressful. "What's the difference?" Sungwoon once commented on his drunken state one time when they're having their typical monthly gathering that they surprisingly kept even with their busy schedules.

"I'm okay hyung." He always replied, looking away from anyone's watching eyes as he drunk his bitter whiskey. Being an adult must be really nice.

"Maybe you should call him." Jihoon suggested out of concern.

Jinyoung sighed tiredly as he look at the ceiling before he answered hopelessly.
" You know he wouldn't answer"

If he can turn back the time maybe with just one ring, he'll be able to hear the voice he's been longing as if he's just right there next to him. It's not like he can't listen to the voice, every BN4 albums was downloaded on his device and he would listen to it at any given time for that certain angelic voice.

"Give it a try again"

Jinyoung smiled bitterly, his arms went to cover his eyes from the offending artificial lights of the room. Do they think he's not trying? Every month and every day, he doesn't forget to call or at least send a message but it always went to the voicemail or answered by the mechanical voice of the female operator. And his messages, it never have any reply nor even been opened, he knows because he keeps checking.

"Maybe he changes number" He said and he wish it's just that and Daehwi just forget to tell him and later, he's gonna heard from Woojin that Daehwi's asking for his number again. Daehwi is very oblivious, an almost a year without contact is understandable.

"He didn't" Woojin who's also wasted interrupted, breaking Jinyoung's false hope.

"I know" Jinyoung confirmed to himself. Of course he didn't because if he do, then he wouldn't be able to send messages or call but moreover, he would have seen it on his Jisung hyung's contact list. But it's still the same digits that Jinyoung has already printed on his mind.

          When Daehwi was in Los Angeles, he seems to learned lot of things because the moment he came back to Korea, he learned how to perfectly hide his emotions that not a Jisung or even a Woojin could see through him. Yes, he's still the oozing cute little brother on screen, getting work up over petty things and talking to them again animatedly but every time the recording will be turned off and when they are left alone on their own, his eyes automatically fall into a blank iris. They wanted to talk about the incident that happened before his leave but when they tried, Daehwi just have a lot of excuses and didn't give them a chance. He would be constantly going out with his friends, with Samuel, Jinyoung scorn as he looks back the time. Daehwi also use his free time composing and arranging songs in his room and wouldn't let anyone in if it's not about their work, how can he sensed it with their knocks? No one knows. The coffee colored eyes that once holds nothing but sparks, innocence and transparency are now replaced with a stare that's strange to them but they know, their Daehwi was still there, he's just pushed back and hidden by walls after walls of fear.

When no one's watching, when he thinks that everyone has fallen on deep slumber, Daehwi would go to Jisung room with his pillow hugged on his chest by his shaking hands, eyes are back to their pristine condition but with an addition of reddened rims and obvious hint of crying. Jisung would opened his arms immediately without a question as Daehwi received the invitation gladly. He would curl on his side like a child he was and cling on Jisung's clothing without the intention to let go. Maybe when he's asleep and not dreaming of being alone in nothingness with angry voices for the simplest mistakes he read, then he'll be able to sleep alone.

Jinyoung knows it to the point where he expected it every time Daehwi made a wrong step or get scolded by the staff. No one in their group say a thing about it though, they would rather practiced back to the top than to add another wound on Daehwi's clearly fragile heart.

Jinyoung remembered the very first time Daehwi let down his wall after so long and let the old him wonder. It was the time that they have to make their final bow as Wannaone. Daehwi couldn't stop himself from crying. The silent falling of his tears turns to sobbing until he's a crying mess that Daniel have to hug him on his chest. His members are looking at him with their equally tears brimmed eyes with a sighed and silently asking the younger to stop from crying for they wouldn't be able to stop themselves as well.

Daehwi hugged each of them saying how he's gonna miss them between hiccups that his words can be barely understand. And the last person he walked to was of course Jinyoung. The older was surprised when he was attacked with hug but didn't complain, not even a little. After the contact that Jinyoung wished to last forever, Daehwi look at him with a smile and whispered the same thing that he said to every members.

Felt like it would last forever
I remember our first time
Your eyes are still the same
So I can’t even see
The goodbye that’s coming

"I'm gonna miss you"

Jinyoung remembered how happy they was for Daehwi opening up to them again and slightly jokes how Daehwi acts as if he's not going to see them again and unknown to them, that's what really Daehwi's plan. It's his goodbye to the people who had hurt him so much he have to wear a facade.

Thank you for the memories
They make me smile, I’ll try to live well
I’ll become a better person

Indeed, that was his plan and he succeeded on it.

Now, many months have passed, they have parted ways and Jinyoung was still living his present with the past.

I don’t wanna leave, I don’t wanna lose you
Even now, we’re growing apart
I try holding onto the clock hands, but this will come to an end
But the last stop and the first stop are the same
Our destiny is to meet again.

He continuously believe.

A/N: So this is the time skip I have
mentioned. Round of applause for the
student who should be studying for her exams later but is writing her story at 2:42 in the morning. I can't sleep. Really. I'll published it when I'm about to go to school so I can read your comments when I get back home.

Listen to Hourglass by The Heal everyone! It's guaranteed to extend your life span, 12 hours per listening.

Thank you for the votes and reads!!