I'll Give Up ( JinHwi )

Seventeen

Jinyoung habitually checks the messages he keeps on sending, hoping that it will be at least be seen or read but just like the entire months, it remains unopened.

When was the last time he saw him? Ah, just two minutes ago. A picture of him that was taken by fans on the airport going back home from Japan. He was wearing an overall again, and Jinyoung have to admit how even times passes he's still the cutest on that outfit. Jinyoung remembered when he has to wear the same style but with bright orange top while he laughed at him addressing Jinyoung as a sick mandarin but the next comeback, he dye his hair with the same color. Funny how he likes to wear bright colors all the time but find it ridiculous in him. Must be because black and dark colors are Jinyoung's style.

As Jinyoung was about to turn off his phone, it rings indicating a call. He smiled at his own ringtone, BNM4's Hollywood. God he's so hopeless.

"Hyung, why did you call? " He answered when he had clicked the green phone icon.

Jisung sighed from the other line. "You know why I called. Are you coming?"

The young singer scratched his neck. "About that hyung, today's the schedule of script reading for that new drama. I don't think I can go?" He answered carefully aware of the disappointment on the older's face.

"He's coming Jinyoung." Said Jisung hoping that it will change his mind.

Jinyoung smiled, of course he knows. That's why he's cancelling.

"I'm really sorry hyung."

"It's okay, just make sure you'll be there on next. Good luck to your new drama, Jinyoung." Jisung said softly and understanding.

"Thank you hyung."

"Aish. You kids. No ones attending from the maknae line exempt Daehwi, now I'm left alone with this sick people." Jisung complain before they bid each others goodbye.

That's maybe why he's coming for the first time ever since the end of their contract. Guanlin and Jihoon must be cancelling and Woojin was spending his time with his family if he's not mistaken.

Over the months of being a soloist, Jinyoung learns something about Daehwi. And that was he totally forgives them because Daehwi isn't someone who keeps hatred for a long time but he's still in the process of healing and distancing himself from the others seems to be his way to let the pain disappears. Jinyoung wanted to call his management and cancel his schedule today just to see him again, apologize, get down on his knees if needed. He just missed him so much that Jinyoung didn't care about how pathetic he would look just for Daehwi to let him in again.

He have a whole year and a half to reciprocates the other's feeling but he wasted it because he let himself be fooled by what's his eyes sees and didn't use his heart in the beginning. He thought that those adoration was just because Daehwi was younger than him and it's pure brotherly love. What an idiot, you treat him just the same way you treated Jihoon and maybe more. Holding hands, couple items, sharing clothes and Jinyoung, no one holds their brother's hand affectionately and kiss it before they sleep. You can't just look at your brother's lips and wonder how soft they would be as you touch it with yours nor be curious at how those uneven eyelids covered eyes would look at you softly and only you alone. Jinyoung took a deep sigh and mess with his raven hair.

He's been in love ever since.

Maybe it started when they debuted as Wannaone, sharing rooms and everything? No. Maybe when Daehwi chose him to be part of his group? They really have fan practicing Boy in Love even though they did face many problems. Again no. Okay maybe when he cheer me up after I danced on Exo's Growl on the first day of evaluation. Jinyoung no, that's too fast and idiotic, there's no love at first sight thing. Then when? Not a maybe but he remembered how he's so down after receiving an F and wouldn't be able to dance on stage on the recording of their theme song. Other F level trainees were crying already because it feels like they disappointed themselves but unlike them Jinyoung didn't felt down enough to cry, he was send there without the hope to reach at least top 50 but still, he thought he's good enough? So he just sit there while watching as the A level trainee practiced and the center of the stage moves up together with their Naya Na center, Lee Daehwi. He was so happy, giggling cutely. Of course who wouldn't be, even the other A level trainees will be dancing below his feet, must be nice to be a center. Jinyoung stares at him unaware that he's staring rather long until the center look at him. Jinyoung wanted to look away being embarrassed that he was caught looking but Daehwi smiles at him with those cute eyes turning into crescent. It's so bright that Jinyoung couldn't help himself but to smile back. He can feel his heart doing a summersault and Jinyoung didn't realize that their center had stole his heart in an instant.

Sighing deeply again, he started doing his schedule with other plans in mind, then do short photoshoot before he reads the script. The plot as expected was exciting and sure would fit with people's interest but Jinyoung couldn't bring himself to focus. He keeps checking his watch and by this time, his former group must be already drinking, well except Daehwi, he's still a minor. He unconsciously smile.

"Hmm, Does it getting better? It's the first time I received a reaction from you." Said the director, getting Jinyoung surprise.

The younger actor smile unsurely, he's hands sweating. "O-Of course it's great since the beginning. I'm sorry I'm just not good at expression?" He said and wanted to punch himself. How can you become an actor if you're not good at expressing Jinyoung?!

To his relief, the director just let it pass. "I heard about that being poker and stoic behind the cameras." Jinyoung only nodded politely not knowing how to responds. "But you sure you're alright? You seems that you're in hurry." The director ask with worried face.

Jinyoung immediately shakes his head. "No, it's not like that." He denied even though he already skipped at least ten pages, having two pages flipped at the same time. "I don't have schedule after this." Actually he do, it's just not written on his phone but he surely do.

"Okay let's just finish it and share your thoughts then let's go home. It's getting late and you're still a growing boy, you need to sleep early."

Jinyoung silently thanked him for considering his actors but feel bad because he wouldn't anyway gonna do what his director wanted him to do.

They finished the script reading quite early and Jinyoung was set off to drive to whatever that place his Wannaone hyung's saw fit for their monthly reunion.

Jinyoung stepped out from his car with the determined glint on his eyes. He wasted so much time, he's not going to spend more with him just sulking and regretting the wrong choices that he made. He knows this might makes Daehwi angry or uncomfortable maybe even ruin his process of healing but Jinyoung can't keep living without his heart, and for almost two years it is in Daehwi's hands all along. Call him too arrogant but he's confident that he's able to breath because he also have Daehwi's heart on his, it's still his. Daehwi's heart still belongs to him.

A/N: I think I have made this story long enough? It will end soon, I promise 😍 I also don't like it when people waits for me so I don't want you stuck on this story. Let our Jinhwi be happy. 😂