Gold: Kim Taehyung ✓

Chrysoprase

^the literal hair he has in this book

- - -

I woke up with a pounding head, grateful that it was a Saturday and I didn't have work. I'd drank more last night than I had in a while- since Taehyung came I hadn't been visiting the bar as often.

Groaning quietly, I rolled over, slowly noticing that I was very much alone in the bed. For the simple fact that I could roll over freely, without Taehyung's long, gangly limbs getting in the way.

Not opening my eyes, I buried my face back into my pillow, sleepily. He'd probably gone to the toilet or something.

When I heard the muffled sob, my eyes finally opened. I squinted around blearily, rubbing my eyes. Another sharp intake of breath. A choked sigh. They were coming from the bathroom. Yawning, I stretched, sitting up and swinging my legs out from under the covers. I stood, and quietly moved to the bathroom.

Taehyung was crouched in the bottom of the shower cubicle, curtain open, water spraying down onto him. He'd been in there a little while, I could tell- his hair was stuck to his forehead, clothes soaked through. His head snapped up as I approached, and he stared at me, unseeing. I couldn't see the tears, but his eyes were rimmed with red. "Taehyung-ah..?"

He pressed his lips together, looking stricken, but his chest heaved and he was unable to contain the noise. He choked, "Noona..."

I softened, quickly moving toward him. I flinched back as I stuck my hand under the faucet- it was ice cold. "How long have you been in here?!" He seemed past talking, so I just switched off the tap and draped a towel over his head and shoulders. "Come on. Come out of there. You're freezing."

He refused to move, large hands covering his face. I frowned, conflicted, not sure how best to approach. I wound up crouching down in the entrance to the shower, and gently rubbed at his wet hair with the towel. His eyes, I could see between the gaps in his fingers, were wide, frightened. He was silent, but every so often his back jerked, or his bare arms would flex, as though preparing to strike some imaginary foe. "Taehyung-ah..."

His breathing was becoming strained, quick, but heavy. One hand clutched at the front of his wet tshirt. He was having a panic attack.

Grasping him by the shoulders, I forcibly made him look at me. "Taehyung. Breathe. Calm down. You're fine," his hands were shaking, distress obvious on his face. I placed my palms on his cheeks, maintaining eye contact. "You're fine, it's okay. You're safe. Breathe. Calmly. In, and out. Try and control it." I continued to speak soothingly, keeping my voice soft, rubbing circles on his cheekbone with my thumb. I rested my forehead against his. Gradually, he began to calm down, breathing slowing, body relaxing. "Good, you're okay, we're okay. You're safe here. You're okay, Taehyung-ah."

He swallowed, a long exhale rushing out afterward, and one of his hands came to tangle in my still sleep-messy hair. "Noona..."

I shushed him. "You don't need to speak. Just focus on breathing." Concentrated on calming him down, I leaned to press a kiss to his forehead. He stared at me, saying nothing as I combed his wet hair out of his face with my fingers. "Can you stand up?"

He nodded, leaning on me quite heavily as I helped him out of the shower. I swallowed down my awkwardness as I helped him out of the wet clothes, pulling the towel back around his shoulders. He was covered in goosebumps.

Once he was dressed in dry clothes, I blow-dried his hair, eyes catching once again on the mark on the nape of his neck. He stayed still, eyes closed, as I stood behind him, discreetly leaning to get a proper look for the first time while the hairdryer continued to blow hot air through his ashy blonde strands.

It looked like numbers. In a squareish font, 8 digits were printed horizontally across the skin just below his hairline. I chewed my lower lip. He stiffened, suddenly, and whined, hand coming up to cover his nape. "Ouch, noona, that burns..."

I realised I'd been holding the hairdryer in one place too long and quickly moved it. "Ah. Sorry, Taehyung-ah."

He shook his head, and pushed into my touch as I ran my fingers through the strands, fluffing them out. The waves were already back. He turned to look at me, leaning his back against my thighs. His eyes were still a little red, but he smiled, softly. "Thanks."

My lips turned up a little in return, gentling my expression. "No problem. Feeling better?"

He nodded, seeming content to just lean against me like this. He seemed tired. "Much."

He reached into the air, feeling around blindly, before gaining purchase on my forearm and following it to my hand. He encompassed it in both of his own, then moved it to his face, kissing my palm. I reddened a bit as he smiled innocently, playing with my fingers. He felt different, somehow. Softer. More vulnerable. The him from a few minutes ago, hunched up in the shower, flashed in my mind, and I frowned.

"Taehyung." He hummed in recognition, placing my hand against his nose and lips and inhaling. "What happened to make you like that?"

I felt bad for bringing it up, but my desperation outweighed the guilt I felt at asking him to talk about something painful. I felt his lips twitch under my fingertips. It was silent, for a moment, and then he sighed. "I... had a nightmare."

I placed my free hand on his shoulder, comforting, "Has this happened before?"

He pressed his lips together. "Once or twice. Never as bad as this."

I felt something in my heart twist. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think it was important."

"Not important?!" I gasped out in disbelief. "Taehyung! You should tell me about things that trouble you!" Moving around him, I knelt down, in front of where he sat on the floor. "If something is wrong, you shouldn't just suffer on your own."

He wouldn't look at me. "I... can't. It's... hard to talk about."

I wasn't having it. "Taehyung, if you're in pain, you should tell me. If not me, then a friend, like-"

I cut myself off, but his head snapped to look at me, eyes wide. "Like who?"

"It's- it's no one- just an expression-"

"Seomin!" I jolted at his sudden use of my name, his expression very serious. Distressed. "Like who?!" He grabbed my shoulders. "Tell me!"

I wriggled in his grip. His fingers were digging into my skin. "T-... Taehyung-ah, you're hurting me...."

My plea fell on deaf ears. He shook me a bit, eyes blazing. "Who have you been talking to? Who did you meet?!"

Panicking, I tried to push him off, pleading with my eyes. He was scaring me. "T-Taehyung-ah.."

"TELL ME!" The sudden shout took me by surprise, making me jump. My eyes filled with tears. He looked... angry. Enraged, even. Unpredictable. How had he become like this from the peaceful, smiley boy I'd been petting a few minutes ago?

"K-Kim Namjoon..." I finally mumbled. He stared at me, eyes wide, and my tears finally spilled over. Something in his expression broke my heart. He looked betrayed.

Suddenly, he was on his feet, heading to the door. I scrambled after him. "Where are you going?!"

He didn't answer. A face like thunder, he ignored me. Tripping over my own feet, I sped up. "Taehyung!"

I reached out.

Everything happened too fast for me to register. The next thing I knew, I was crying out in pain, clutching my hand to my chest automatically. Agony radiated through my hand, Taehyung's arm dropping to his side as he whipped to stare at me.

His face was stricken, realisation washing over his features, as his gaze flicked from my face to the hand that he'd smacked away, clutched against my chest. His jaw clenched, eyes filling with tears, face one of regret.

And then he was gone, leaving me behind with a choked out apology.