Love The One You're With

Chapter 17 - The Fight Part 1

I spent another two nights having dinner with Brad at his place. We lit a candle for Alexa last night, since we can’t go to her grave because it’s in LA.

Brad cooked dinner again for the two of us.

“You know what’s crazy?” I asked, trying to chew the grilled chicken that’s in my mouth. “It seems like there’s no paparazzi following us the whole week we’re here.”

“Why? Do you want to?”

“Nah! I’m just not used to it. And it feels good!”

We go o for a long time talking and laughing like the old times ‘til my phone rang.

“Lemme just grab that.” I put my fork down and stood up from the table. I walked towards my bag and look for my phone. “Oh, shoot!”

It’s Justin.

“Hi!” I greeted.

“Hey, where are you?” he asked, and I started to get nervous for obviously no apparent reason.

“Ummm… at a friend’s.” I turned to look at Brad having a bite of his garlic bread. He saw me looking at him and smiled. I gestured that I’ll be back in a moment.

“I’m at your hotel. In your suite… may or may not wearing any clothes on.” He said in a very seductive voice that gave me goose bumps. I was speechless and have no idea what to say. “Hey you still there?”

“Yeah huh!” I said. “Wait for me okay? Don’t move.”

I end the call and went back to the kitchen.

“So who’s that?” he asked, looking up at me.

“It’s an emergency. I have to go.”

“What? Where?” he then stood and followed me to the living room while I get my purse.

I was about to say about work, then I remembered, he’s my boss. If there’s a problem on set, he’s probably the first one to know. “Ummm, okay. It’s Justin, he’s here!”

“In the building?” he whispered, shocked. Like Justin will be able to hear us talking.

I laughed, seeing how cute he is. “No, in my hotel. He maybe had a break or something.”

“Oh, okay.” You can trace a disappointment from his voice.

“So, I have to go.” I head to the door. “And thanks for the dinner!”

I reached my place as immediately as I could. Thrilled by the man that may or may not be naked over my bed or scared that he will know where I was from.

I put the keys in and took a deep breath, clearing all of the negative thoughts that are circulating my mind at the moment. I opened the door and a handsome face greeted me. He’s standing in front of the counter wearing an apron and holding a spatula.

“Hi!” he said, with this oh-so-happy smile approaching me. I put my purse and keys down and he hugged me tightly. “I missed you so much!”

He holds me so tight that I can feel our heartbeats becoming one. I miss this. The feeling of being held into a very tiny space but safeness is there.

“I missed you so much too honey!” I said hugging him back.

He gave me a peck in the lips before letting me go.

“Are you hungry? I made dinner.” He proudly said, going back to the kitchen and grabbing the spatula again.

“Oh honey, I’ve already had mine.” I said, thinking about the evening I just had with Brad. “But I could still eat with you if you want me to.”

“That’s okay.” He said, with a smile in tack on his face, I imagine I he knew where I came from, will his smile be as happy as it is right now? “You can just sit with me, or dessert. You can eat dessert.”

“Sure. I can eat dessert!”

I helped him prepare the table. He just keeps on looking at me and smiling. I can see that he is really happy seeing me again. We sat down as he eats his dinner and I indulge into the mug cake he made.

“So how was it going with the film?” he asked and I felt like throwing up.

“It’s pretty good!” I answered filling my mouth with chocolate shavings. “There’s this little girl, she plays as my daughter, and her name is Erin. I just wanna take her home!”

 “You know we can make one anytime right?” he teased, with this big grin filling all of his face that makes his brown eyes sparkle. I just stared at him blankly. I noticed his emotions changed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

He held my hand and gazed into my eyes. I felt guilt surrounds my whole being. How he’s being there for me, always, whenever I needed him. How he was so honest with me the other day and how he loves me with all his heart.

And here I am, doing whatever what I’m doing. Whatever you may call this, having no idea if it’s wrong or right, but what I know is I’m being so unfaithful right now.

“No, it’s just…” I looked down and saw his hands touching mine, how it looks so perfect together. “It’s been a decade since that incident with Alexa yesterday and--”

“I’m so sorry baby.” He moved his chair and tried to stand but I stopped him. I know he’s going to hug me and I don’t wanna feel so pitiful right now.

“No, no. I’m alright! Continue with your food.” He sat down again. “I shouldn’t be upset with something that happened ten years ago, right?”

I smiled to hide away the pain, trying to remove Alexa from my mind.

“You don’t have to smile if you really don’t want to.” I forgot that he knows me so well. He knows every meaning of my every breath.

“I’m fine.” I said, exhaling. Expecting my pain will flow with my breath away after it circulates all over my body.

“No you’re not.” He said, proving he seems to know me well more than I know myself. “And stop pretending you are.”

We went straight to bed after. Just lying there observing each other’s breathe. I feel his presence beside me, his body that reminds me that I won’t be alone tonight.

I face him and put my head on his chest. I can hear his heart pounding, his breath moving my hair and giving chills in my spine. He moves his hands and caresses my hair.

“I’m so sorry about earlier.” I apologized, looking at the ceiling and feeling his hands as it touches every strand of my hair.

“You don’t have to, I understand.”

I felt the urge of crying. But I don’t want to. I know I’m much stronger that I think I am. I’ve been into this, worst than this.

He held my chin and put my lips to his. I felt our mouths touched. I kissed him back like I’ve never kissed him before.

Our tongues are gliding to the beat of the slow song in my head. The world beneath us came smaller and smaller and it feels like we’re the only remaining people on this planet.

I climbed over him and felt his manhood in my thighs. I held his face and started kissing him again. He put his arms around my waist and I felt his warmth travels into my veins.

His hands started to slip underneath my shirt and try to unlock my bra. Our kiss fell much deeper that I’m starting to depart from reality.

Something ran into my mind, a thing that I just want to go away, especially right on this moment. I remembered Brad and the thought of him makes everything so complicated. I tried to clear him from my mind but he’s like a leech that won’t just let go.

I gave up. I can’t do this. I can’t think about him while I’m with the one I love. I dropped my body into my side of the bed.