Love The One You're With

Chapter 20 - Mistakes, make it a lesson

Thinking about all of the things that Brad said, left me on my hotel room just lying for almost a day now. Just think about it, if Courteney had told me in the first place all of those things that I don't know - those things that I might have known if I just let Brad explained to me - my life wouldn't be this complicated.

There will be no tabloids every week that has my face on their cover talking how miserable my life is. There will be no feud between two women of Hollywood for almost a decade now and still hasn't faded. I'd probably have much happier marriage with Brad and probably with kids.

My phone stopped my mind from wondering into space when it rang. This feeling of wanting no to talk to anybody is within me again. I think I'm going back to square one. It stopped ringing before I picked it up and I felt relieved, until it started ringing again to the point that it annoyed me.

"You've got a lot of explanation to do, miss!" I heard Courteney mumbled from the other line. Shouldn't be I was the one who's asking her that? Shouldn't be I am the one who deserves an explanation, an acceptable reason?

Being friends with Courteney is one of the things that I am so grateful for. She's my friend, a sister, a partner in crime and sometimes, acts as my mother. But everything has a downside. She tends to be so controlling, she wants everything to go in her way and be perfect the way she wants it to be to the point that she won't even bother asking whether you're okay with what she's doing.

And times like this, she didn't even consider what am I gonna feel. If how would I feel about the decision she made of not telling me something that is really important to me.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That Brad went back for me several times."

I heard her gasped, shocked by how did I know about it. She didn't talk for a moment and I was just there observing the pattern of her breathing, and the only reason I know she didn't hang up on me. She probably is thinking an excuse of how is she going to start explaining it to me.

"I did that for you. It's for your own good, Jen." She reasoned, giving that motherly tone out again that annoyed me even more.

"It was for me? You made me miserable, Court! This... this is all your fault!" I yelled, not even thinking anymore of what I should or shouldn't say or if it'll affect her feelings.

"How come it is? I was not the one who cheated on you." She pointed out. "He cheated on you, Jen. He wouldn't do that if he really loved you. Let's just say, yes, he did! But not enough that he had the urge to taste a cheeseburger because he was so tired of eating pasta."

I didn't say a thing; I was just there listening to her babble things or am I just too messed up to even start opening my mouth. There's this very hollow well inside my chest that keeps me from breathing properly.

"I had told you this before, but I will tell this to you again. That happened for the better, Jen. You will never know how strong of a woman you are if it didn't happen. If you're not even worth enough for him to prioritize, then he doesn't deserve to be in your life. And please, think of this, if that didn't happen, you won't meet the person who meant so much to you right now. Justin is the best thing that had happened to you. He's the one for you."

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