Talia- KING PRINCESS FANFIC (finished)

Seventeen

Talia

It's raining in New York City today, but all I can think about is the L.A sun. How it'd shower down on her, make her its own. I can feel my fingers connecting the hundreds of freckles from her forehead down to her fingertips. It's like the sun was a marker and she was the map, giving me a path to touch you places I never knew I would miss. Like the back of her neck, where her hair barely stops. Beneath all of those flyaway laid freckles, I've never seen anything like it since I don't get them myself.

My memories are so bright but my mind is so dark. I always knew this was the place for me. I'm comfortable living beneath storm clouds while she dances her way through L.A. I always wonder if she thinks of me. Even on my good days where I can smile and almost mean it, I wonder if she had those moments. But then my phone buzzes and it's her, but not to me. It's her informing the world about something so impersonal to you but means the world to me.

Jessie thinks I should turn her post notifications off but I can't. She also tells me I need to go outside and leave my apartment but I can't do that either. She would often yell at me and threaten to leave and I let her. Now she's dancing in L.A with Mikaela. And I know I shouldn't be mad, or feel anything really. I know that they grew close and enjoy each others company. But as Jessie's hand lays on Mikaela's head I wish it was my own. Jessie would be thrilled to know that I have to stop by the studio today and maybe eat dinner somewhere that's not on my couch. I doubt it, but I'm trying to think positive. Mostly.

<Hey. We need to talk> I read Harry's message and set the phone back on the bed. He's been so distant since the party and my grandma that I sometimes forget about him, especially on rainy days like today.

<what's up?> I replied checking the time. It was 3:00 in the afternoon and a sense of pride reigned down as I attempted to get out of bed. It'd be the earliest I've moved all week.

<Is everything okay with you?> he responded quickly but he was probably home in L.A so he had the time.

<better than ever :)> I sent back as I stared at myself in the mirror. My skin looked a pale grey and my bags were almost black. I had spent majority of my night crying and I defiantly wasn't okay.

<Okay, just checking. You kind of went M.I.A these last couple months. I'm just worried, love. Everyone misses you. I know losing Nona was hard but maybe seeing friends might make you feel better?x> okay Jessie? Why won't people just leave me the fuck alone. That's all I want to be, unbothered and by myself.

<yeah maybe. might see Cara tonight. yay> I sent back exiting my messages to call Cara. We were all such good friends as a trio, I knew H would call to make sure she'd be with me.

She sent me straight to ignore as I tried again and aging. "Well, well, well. If it isn't my sweet Natty. A little birdie said we were hanging out tonight?" She answered teasing me immediately after answering my forth call.

"Is that okay?" My voice was flat and cracked a little bit as I spoke. I hadn't heard my voice outside of my head in days.

"Yeah, yeah of course. I will have to move a few things around but I don't mind," her voice was filled with compassion as I realized I was a charity case.

"You don't have to, really. I understand," I spoke still looking in the mirror. My hair was discolored and a mess on my head. Maybe Mikaela was lucky that she would never have to see me like this.

"Don't be stupid. Where will you be at like 5?" She asked as my phone kept vibrating on my ear.

"The studio. You can come hang out there if you want. I'm fairly sure I'm just having a writing session and I won't have to be there for more than an hour," those were my terms to Alice for making me leave in the first place.