*Book one in the Again series*
After a heated argument lands him in the spare bedroom of his grandparents' rancher, late bloomer Leon Snyder finds his love life heating up after multiple unsuccessful run-ins with a mysterious girl. Despite his faile...
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"I don't even know where to start," Katie replies, fidgeting with her hands. She takes turns picking at her nails, plucking the skin around her nails, and cracking her knuckles. The fear she'll hurt herself if she keeps going and the need to have her closer compels me to reach over the center console and place my hand over hers.
"How about your Grandma?" I suggest, adding, "Since you just mentioned her and all."
Instantly, Katie inhales the deepest breath, exhaling slowly as she settles into her seat. For a fleeting moment, I worry that encouraging her to speak of the things that have hurt her may have been the wrong thing to do based on how long it's taking her to respond and the faraway look in her eyes. But then she replies and my worry washes away, much like the raindrops on my windshield.
"My Grandma Katherine and I were always close, but after my parents split and my Mom and I moved into her house, we only grew closer." She gazes out the window, her voice heavy with emotion and eyes glistening with tears. "When I found her that morning, a part of me died. All the love I felt for her turned into grief."
"I always think that, maybe, if she'd been sick that it would've been easier for me to get through. I'd think about all of the suffering she'd gone through and it'd help me cope better, ya know?" she tells me, sniffling. A tear trickles down her cheek, and I reach a hand up to catch it before it falls. "But that didn't happen. She was here, healthy and alive, and then she wasn't. Just. Like. That." Katie snaps her fingers with her free hand. "The night before she died, I had my Mom tell her 'Good night' and 'I love you' for me because I was too preoccupied sulking over my lost friendship and blocking some guy that kept harassing me. Every day, I live with the regret of not telling her that I loved her myself one last time."
I find myself at a loss for words.
I've never lost anyone before; Nan and Pop are still alive and well, and my Mom's parents passed away either before I was born or when I was young, so I have no recollection of how it feels to lose someone or any knowledge on how to help someone in a situation like this. So I remind myself that Katie's not telling me all of this for advice or for a remedy to take all of her pain away, she's telling me this so I can bear some of the weight she's been carrying with her for a quite possibly-her whole life.
My presence and listening to her vent are enough to help her right now. And I told her that I'd help her carry this weight, so dammit, I'm going to.
Another question swirls around in my head after listening to her talk about her Grandma. "Why aren't your parents together? And how long have they been separated?"
"They fought a lot. And I'm not just saying that because that's the typical response kids receive from their parents after they ask why they're breaking up. I'm saying it because I know for a fact that they did." Katie takes in a deep, shaky breath. "They've been separated for a while now. I was old enough to remember but young enough to forget, if that makes any sense."
