demons./ minsung ✓

013 | subtle nausea

M

minho and jisung agree to find somewhere else to talk. both of them are hurting and need space. they settle on the spot their cherry blossom tree used to stand, beautiful pink and white petals falling at the same time every year, signalling the coming of winter. this year however, it is non-existent, replaced by a marble birdbath and wishing fountain.

they walk in silence, and minho is absorbed by his thoughts. they are noisy, crying out of attention and help, screaming out to him that this is a painful memory, splitting his brain apart and making him wince. despite having longed for jisung's return to his life for years of his life, he wants nothing more than for him to disappear and leave like nothing ever happened. 

"my mother told me lots of nice things about you." jisung murmurs, setting down his guitar and sitting on the bench opposite minho, who decides to perch himself on the edge of the fountain. he winces at the mention of jisung's mother. 

"i presume the opposite has also been said." he says dejectedly, looking down at his shoes and clearing his throat. he feels nauseous at the thought of him, poisoning jisung's mind with false accusations and rumours. 

"i needed to get away." jisung replies, completely avoiding the question. minho clears his throat and attempts to speak, but all that comes out is a sob. jisung looks at him with wide eyes, gaze flitting from minho, to the ground, to the darkening sky around them. 

"i hate you." minho chokes out, barely able to collect himself. he feels disgust towards himself. it's an incredibly selfish and untrue remark to make, and he immediately sees the impact it makes on jisung, who curls in on himself with a pained expression.

"but it's not your fault." he continues, tears streaming down his cheeks as he vividly imagines the flashing lights and confusing sirens and scary people related to that night. he looks away from jisung to spare himself the guilt of seeing his reaction.

"it wasn't my fault. and nobody believed me." he growls, it's ugly and wild, broken by the pain that seeing jisung has reawakened in him.

"your own fucking father is at fault and i will never forgive him."