Beloved

7. (Hamza's POV)

What are you doing here? Why did you even tell her about...shit.  Why did I even come here in the first place? I could have just apologized to her in college.

'Sugar?' I heard Ayat's voice coming from the kitchen as I idiotically waited for her in the living room.

'One spoon...where is your father?' I asked her. I didn't see anyone else around.

'He is outside' She walked in with a cup of tea and handed me my cup.

'I should go...looks like you're alone...I don't want to cause any issue' I looked at her as she sat across from me.

'That's okay...I called him and told him you are here.' She said right away.

'You guys seem close' I noticed a very strong between her and her father.

'He is all we have' She looked down at her empty hands. What were we doing here? What was I doing? There was a strange comfort that I was starting to feel around her, and it was becoming a concern for me.

'Are you okay?' She asked just then and caught me staring at her. I couldn't help it, she was such so hard for me to figure out.

'Why did you invite me in? You hardly know me' I needed to know.

'I...I already told you this Mr.Hamza...I don't think you are a bad person, I am just trying to help' She sounded sincere but why? Why did she care?

'That's why I don't understand...you petty me?'  Did she see me as a sad broken person who was acting vile just so people don't see how much in a pain I was in?

'Why are you like this? I thought you came here because you wanted to talk but now I feel like you are interrogating me in my own home. I invited you in because I can see that you are hurt...I may not understand how you are feeling but I can imagine the pain you must be feeling. It's okay to accept pain...sometimes that's all we can do' She told me as if it was easy.

'You ever loved anyone so much that you thought you'll die without them if they ever walk away from you' I asked her, giving advice without understanding one's pain was a lot easier.

'Yes...I actually do' I was surprised to hear her answer and didn't know what to say.

'At least the person who walked away from you is still alive...mine isn't. My mother passed away right in front of my eyes...I saw her taking her last set of breaths in front me days after I...I thought things were getting better. It doesn't get easier, it becomes a habit and that's when it starts to hurt less' She sadly smiled at me.

'I better head out...thanks for the tea' I got up and made my way through the door. I felt better once I stepped out. I saw it coming, I knew one day I'll wake up and get the news, I had mentally prepared myself for it but still, when I got the news, I couldn't help it. I felt as if my insides were burning.

'So will you be coming to the party?' Jalil asked me the dumbest question in the existence. We were video calling, he was packing for a business trip that was going to the next day.

'What do you think asshole?' I said to him while heating up dinner.

'It's not too far from where you are I think you should come...for the fun of it' Sometimes I really wanted to kill him. I could almost feel my hands twitching ready to end the call.

'How about I tell Maryam to cheat on you...marry someone else and we go to her party...for the fun of it' I suggested.

'You don't have to drag me in this conversation' I heard Maryam commenting in the background.

'Sorry...shit...I feel like my mind is going to explode...and this girl...she tells me it's going to become a habit and then it will hurt less...' I took the food out of the microwave and finally sat down to eat.