Beloved

15.

'You have been awfully quiet since you got back with Hamza... is everything okay?' Saba said to me while we were waiting for Mr.Hamza and Karim Sir in the lobby after giving out donations so we could go get dinner. They went back to the camp to pick up more bags for tomorrow.

'Yes...everything is fine, I am just tired' I told her, looking down so she doesn't catch me lying to her face.

'Karim tells me Hamza is a great guy' She said a while later and I just nodded. I wasn't too sure how to respond to her.

'He did a lot of work today' She added, and I nodded again.

'What do you think about him?...about Hamza' She asked me, and I looked up at her.

'What do you mean Saba?' I asked her, why was she asking me about him like that? Why was everything about him all the time? Or maybe I was constantly linking everything to him.

'I am sorry, I didn't mean to upset you' She apologized to me after noticing my reaction to her question.

'No...I am sorry...I...well he is a nice person Saba...he helped me multiple times, especially when my father was hospitalized.' I told her.

'Karim really likes Hamza for you, you know? He thinks Hamza is a great match for you' She told me, and I got surprised by her words. Is that why Karim Sir invited him to this trip? To set us up? I had to talk to him.

'I am about to get married Saba, please don't even think about it...it's wrong' I got up to leave to go to my room. I wasn't hungry anymore. I just wanted this trip to be over as soon as possible, so I could go home, away from all this. Away from Mr.Hamza.

'There is nothing wrong Ayat...it's not wrong to like someone' She stopped me from leaving.

'You are right. It's not wrong to like someone but it's wrong to like someone if you're engaged...it's called cheating' I stepped away from her.

'Ayat...' She started to speak but I stopped her.

'Saba, please...I consider you my friend but please don't mention any of this to me again. I don't want to get wrecked up...I don't have that much strength in me...you guys enjoy your dinner' I walked past her to go to my room.

'Ayat?' Zaid sounded surprised when he answered my call at this time of the night.

'Are you busy? I can call back later if...' I said but he cut me off.

'No...please, it's fine. It just that you never call me, so I am just a bit surprised...is everything okay? Is Haya okay?' He asked me.

'Yes, everything is fine. I just wanted to ask you something' I said to him and when he didn't reply, I realized that he was waiting for my question.

'How come you never tried to talk to me after we got engaged?' I asked him.

'Ayat what is this about? What is going on?' He asked me instead. What was I thinking? I ended the call right away and stayed still on my bed to calm myself down. I did the most outrages thing, something I had never done before, I had never called Zaid and today because of Mr.Hamza and Saba...I reached out to him only to find out why he never tried talking to me. What was wrong with me? How could I be so stupid? Minutes later my phone rang, and I saw Zaid's name on the screen. I didn't pick up his call but then a  couple of minutes later, he called again. I answered his call, but he didn't say anything at first.

'Zaid' I addressed him.

'Why did you end the call like that?' He asked me.

'I am sorry about what I said earlier...just forget about it' I told him, ready to end the call but he spoke further.