Beloved

22.

'Hamza...Haya is sleeping...please you can't be here' I protested but he interrupted me by placing his hand over my mouth.

'Then stop yelling, just whisper to me' He leaned back to look at me.

'You really couldn't wait until tomorrow?' I asked him when he pulled his hand away from my mouth.

'You already know the answer to that question' He said and kept looking at me.

'How do you it Ayat? How can you make a sensible guy like me do senseless things' He sighed and took a step back from me.

'I don't understand' I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he was actually here, in my house in the middle of the night.

'Let's cut the chase...you owe me a lot of answers...sit' He walked his way to the sofa and sat down, leaving me shocked.

'You can't be serious...did you even check the time? Why are you so damn difficult?' I followed him and grabbed his arm to pull him up from the sofa but instead, he pulled me down with him.

'Because I love you' He confessed angrily, and I felt his voice down into the pit of my stomach.

'I love you...and I want to stay because I need you...I need you to tell me what's in your heart. You are making it so difficult for me...when I don't see you, I think about you, when I don't hear your voice...I miss you...like crazy and it makes me angry because it has never happened to me like this...not like this...I have never cared for someone like the way I care about you. I want to give you all that you want. I want to make you happy Ayat, let me' He didn't let go me when he said that. There was a hint of possessiveness in his voice, which made me fearful and excited at the same time.

'You broke your engagement?' He finally loosened his grip on me once he believed that I won't push him away.

I nodded.

'Why didn't you tell me? Why did you start avoiding me suddenly...I thought we were going to figure it out together...' He sounded really hurt.

'I have done things on my own Hamza...it wasn't easy for me, but I knew I had to do it myself. You might think it's silly, but I am terribly scared of getting my heart broken and for the first, I experienced that...I felt that because of you. I knew only you could break my heart and I got afraid. It's not easy for me to open myself up to people, it's scary for me and you...you scare me. I like too much and everything you do has such a big effect on me that I feel weak and vulnerable around you.' I wanted him to know how much his presence mattered to me.

'You have nothing to fear Ayat, I am already yours...you and I are one...I belonged to you since the moment we first met, it just took me some time to accept it that's all' He said with full honesty and utmost care. It felt as if everything dissolved into nothing and everything at once.

'I love you' I surrendered. Just then we both were interrupted by a sound of door cracking, I pulled myself away from him.

'Haya is probably awake, you need to leave right now...I don't want her to see you at this time or else she's going to annoy me for the rest of the night, please' I blabbered.

'I'll leave under one condition' He said with a rueful smile as he got up.

I waited.

'Meet me tomorrow, I want to ask you something' He requested.

'What?' I asked him.

'Not here, I'll pick you at nine tomorrow morning' He made his way to the door.

'That early?' I looked at him, his eyes were burning down at me.