Sincerely, Me (Treebros - Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction)

Chapter 1

A/N: before y'all start reading, I wanna say that I use websites, addresses, and emails in the story and they probably belong to someone (especially the emails). these are not mine, nor do I know who they belong to. i'm using them for fictional purposes only.

Also, I can't put the 'at' symbol without tagging people, so I'm using an underscore. Fair enough.

**This chapter includes mentions of suicide and depression**

~•~•~

EVAN POV

I'm Evan Hansen. I'm a seventeen year old senior at Westerburg High School. I do good in school, academically, I suppose, but socially? I'm the worst at talking in front of people, standing in front of people, being with people. I really struggle with anxiety, which is a mental illness, like depression. Which I also have.

I'm always quiet, shaky, "shy" and nervous in situations like presentations or even answering a question from my seat. I feel like I'm annoying because of how.. anxious I am.

Maybe that's why another student named Connor Murphy probably hates me. It's not like he hits me or calls me names. He just laughs when I fall or stutter, or he'll stare at me when I walk by. He gives off an angry, "don't mess with me," kind of vibe. I try not to let it bother me too much because I need to take my own advice. I run a blog on Tumblr that focuses on thinking positive and how mental health is important.

I do it because I know how it feels to think you're unloved, worthless, or hopeless. I hate that feeling, so I try to make so others won't have to feel that pain. It's called You Will Be Found (that's not my tumblr page, or anyone's that I know of, it's for fictional purposes hehe).

•••

CONNOR POV

I'm Connor Murphy. I'm an eighteen year old senior, yada yada, blah blah blah. I don't even care about school anyway. I don't care about much of anything anymore.

It sucks because no one cares about me either. It's also good because no one will feel bad when I die, right? Right??

I need a cigarette.

No.

I need someone to talk to. I search up the one website keeping me sane. You Will Be Found on tumblr. This guy goes by the name "E." Mysterious, huh. He runs a blog about self-image, positivity, and general wellness. I love how uplifting it can be.

For the first time in a while, I logged into my email. I typed in mostamazingtrees_gmail.com.

To: mostamazingtrees_gmail.com

From: lifeandotherstuff_gmail.com

Dear E,

I know you probably get thousands of emails a day and you probably won't even read this, but I want to say that I really love your blog. It's helped me a lot recently. I know depression all too well. I've been so close to death, but I read your posts about how I can get better and how suicide isn't the answer and they make me feel better. I haven't cut myself in two weeks because of your blog. I'm feeling kind of proud. It feels good.

E, you saved my life. Several times. I guess I want to say thank you. I also need someone to vent to. I have no one. My dad doesn't want to hear it, my mom is emotional and knows nothing about me, and my sister is just annoying and stupid. I don't have friends. I know. Pathetic, right?

I get it if you don't want to respond. I just needed to write something down to distract myself.

Sincerely,

C

•••

EVAN POV

*ding!*

An email? From who? I never get emails.

After reading it a second time, I realized I was crying. I saved someone's life? I inspire someone? Someone reads my blog? And benefits from it?

I smiled, still tearing up, and typed a reply.

To: lifeandotherstuff_gmail.com

From: mostamazingtrees_gmail.com

Dear C,

That's amazing. I can't believe I saved someone's life. I am so sorry for everything you've been through. Keep climbing that tree. Eventually you'll make it to the top where you can just relax and take in the view.

Your email brought me to tears. I'm so glad you came to me to talk to someone. You're always welcome to vent to me. You don't sound pathetic at all, C. I completely understand. So, if you want to talk about anything on your mind, I'm here for you.

Sincerely,

E

•••

CONNOR POV

I am so sorry...

I'm so glad...

I'm here for you...

Does he really mean all of that? Is he serious?

I clicked reply and placed my fingers on home row to start typing, but then-

"Connor, dinner's ready! Come downstairs!"

~•~•~

Hii! How is this so far? Are y'all enjoying it?

Hope so, because I'm working on Ch 2 right now hehe