Sincerely, Me (Treebros - Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction)

Chapter 5

**This chapter includes some depressing thoughts and mentions of self harm**

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EVAN POV

To: lifeandotherstuff_gmail.com

From: mostamazingtree_gmail.com

Dear C,

That guy who picks on me did it again today. He smokes too. I generally like people, but he's sort of intimidating, which makes it hard to just like him.

I stopped typing about Connor and looked up from my laptop. Mom's car still wasn't here. Guess I have to order pizza or something.

I started thinking about what C said in one of his emails from yesterday. He said he does stuff like that. Like Connor. What if C was Connor?

Ha! I'm jumping to conclusions. There is no way sweet, funny C is brooding, smokey Connor. Right?

I finished typing my email, asking about his life and other stuff.

Haha, that's his email!

•

To: mostamazingtree_gmail.com

From: lifeandotherstuff_gmail.com

Dear E,

Haha that also sounds like me. But a lot of kids our age smoke. One kid in my eighth grade science class snorted the citric acid on the table like it was cocaine. I'll never forget that kid. Dude was crazy.

I wish I was there to beat that guy up for bullying you. You're so nice. You don't need someone like that guy in your life.

   Sincerely,

C

P.S.

We're pretty good friends, right? I hope so because I think of us as, like, best friends. I have no other friends so... Anyway, I'm not sure how to not seem creepy asking this, but what's your name? I mean you don't have to tell me, but I don't know, um

Bye?

•

C just asked for my name? C asked for my name? What if it was Connor?? It isn't, obviously, duh, but what if it was someone else I knew? I'm so nervous.

I emailed him back. I told him I had to go. Frantically, of course.

CONNOR POV

E has to go. Did I scare him off? I feel so bad. I'm horrible. He'll probably never talk to me again. God, why do I have to be such a fuck up? I hate myself for most likely hurting my only friend and now I'm...

I picked up the blade from the x-acto knife I stole from Zoe during her crafty phase last year.

I need to stop. I need to stop.

I'm overthinking it. Everything.

E wanted me to stop cutting. I haven't done it in about a month. I want to be better. I want to feel better.

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Hehe lil bit of angst :3

Also hahahaaha two chaptera in one day yass