I Support It By Watching It /Phan/

Scene 11: Pretend

Phil didn't like feeling sad. He felt like he never had a reason to. Sure, he had his short moments when he felt down, but he always felt selfish. Phil felt like his problem was so small compared to everything going on in the world, so why worry about it? He always tried to be as positive as he could. 

This, however, was different. He couldn't help but just want to feel sad. So what did he do? Phil sat in his room when he wasn't in school just listening to his "emo hours" playlist on Spotify. Everything from "The Taste of Ink" by The Used to "Northern Downpour" by Panic! at the Disco. He was sad and this was his coping mechanism. 

"Phil, I think you should tell him," Matt says, squeezing a stress ball that Phil has on his desk. 

"Matty, I want to. I really, really want to, but I can't." Phil sighs. 

"Yes, you can tell him. You just don't want to," Matt continues to play with little trinkets Phil has, grabbing a rubber band and shooting it as Phil's leg, making the other wince.  

Phil just shrugs. He knows what his friend is saying is true. If there's one thing Phil's good at, it's procrastinating. Anything from homework to telling his crush he's liked him for years, he will find away around it until the last minute, and telling Dan he likes him was the last thing he wants to do. 

Matt eventually left and Phil continued to lie on his bed, listening to his sad music. He sighed loudly and rubbed his face, grabbing his phone off of his stomach and turning it on. He went onto Snapchat and looked at his friends stories, frowning. 

They were all having so much fun. Some were smoking with other people he knew of, some were just at home chilling. Phil got to Dan's story. 

"hmu i'm bored lmao" was the caption, with a picture of Dan with a filter on. 

Phil slid up on the text that said "snap" and he began typing. 

"hey, what's up?"

Phil deleted what he was going to say, skipping the rest of Dan's story and turning off his phone. He sighed, placing is phone next to him and threw the covers over himself, curling up and falling asleep as "Pretend" by Mali Koa plays. 

***

Phil woke up the next morning. His alarm was blaring right next to his face. He went to turn it off and saw he never plugged his phone in. Phil let out a irked groan as he connected it and got up. The boy ran his fingers through his hair and felt how greasy it was, sighing and standing up. He grabbed his towel and walked out of his room to the restroom down the hall. 

He turned on the shower and let the water warm up. Phil took off his clothes before stepping in once it was ready. Phil watched as the soap suds washed down the drain after rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. 

Phil eventually got out, drying off. He walked to his room and grabbed some clothes, putting them on. It was finals week, so Phil didn't dress nicely. GSA had their end of the semester party and he wasn't ready for the last two days before winter break. 

Only two days of seeing Dan and he can rest. 

Phil checked his phone and saw it was time for him to get going. He couldn't be bothered with contacts today, so he got his glasses and left the house. Phil plugged in his headphones and put on some music as he walked to school. Phil was freezing, wrapping his arms around himself and placing his hand on his nose. Once Phil got to the cross walk, he waited for his right of way. He saw the cars passing. He saw Dan in one of the cars and frowned, but started walking once he noticed he was allowed to cross. 

Once Phil arrived at school, he saw he only had about ten minutes until class began. He went into the choir room and sat down on the steps. Mr. Thomas walked out of his office, noticing the teen sitting with his head in his hands. 

"Hey kid, you okay?" Thomas asked, adjusting the box of sheet music in his hands that he had to send back to another school. 

"Yeah. Are we having an officer meeting this Wednesday?" Phil asks. 

"No, you all need to focus tomorrow." Thomas laughed. 

Phil nodded and told Thomas he'd see him in third hour before the teacher walked off. The bell eventually rang and Phil got up, walking across campus to his first hour. Phil sat in his class, not doing anything since they did their final the previous Friday. Mia tried bantering with him, making him smile and laugh a few times, but his heart still hurt. Mia's kind smile helped him a bit as the two sat sharing a pair of headphones and watched Fuller House on his phone. 

***

Noon rolled around and the final bell rang, signaling that the three classes for the day were up. Since it was finals week, they had one whole school day cut in half up until the two lunch times and everyone got to leave at twelve.

Dan was standing in the quad with Adam, one of his friends. The two were chatting, complaining about the algebra final. He looked over to where the choir room was and saw Phil, Mia, and Dodie all walking out together. Phil was smiling and laughing with the two girls.

Dan frowned a bit and Adam noticed. He gave Dan a little nudge, gaining the other's attention quickly. 

"Sorry, what was that?" Dan asks, looking back at Adam. 

"Ya okay? You've seemed off lately." Adam asks/states. 

Dan looked once more at Phil before nodding, the two walking to Dan's house, which happens to be in the same direction as Phil's. 

Heeeeyyyyyyyy......

okay please don't be mad. i was really tired and i took winter break to rest and fix my sister stability. i hope you all enjoyed this update! it took me forever to write. literally, because i started it weeks ago, didn't know where to go, my e button is currently stuck and my finger cramps every time i try and use it, but i eventually got it down. also my w kinda sucks. 

i didn't know where i wanted this book to go, but thankfully my DAD iamnotshane aka shane niemi released a song that helped me realize where i wanna go with this (it's called trick and it's amazing pls listen) 

i love you all!!!!! pls vote :)

-Mom