These are their stories ~ Amanda Rollins

Discovering

Amanda’s P.O.V:
My eyes rest of the coffee cup as I stir the contents slowly. I catch a glimpse of another person entering the break room presumably to grab a coffee themselves. 

“So how is Nick doing in California?” 

The familiar Staten island drawl makes it clear to me that the person in here with me is in fact Carisi. I’m not in the best of tempers right now however, I didn’t want to seem as if I didn’t care about Carisi asking after Nick when he knew we were close. 

“He’s doing okay actually, he has PT every two weeks and you know what the beaches are like there, they are stunning.” I say, smiling at him. 

“That’s great, I'm glad that he’s found his ‘inner peace’.” He remarks, emphasis on inner peace. 

“Yeah me too Carisi. Anyway should probably get back to work, my paperwork isn’t going to do itself.” I laugh, dismissing myself back to my desk. 

I flop back into my chair, being careful not to spill my coffee in the process, and reach for my laptop. I check a couple of emails ensuring any important emails have been read and replied too. I take a quick sip of my coffee and sigh at the enormous amount of paperwork building up on my desk. 

“Right I’m going out now you guys got to head over to a crime scene.” Carisi explains, removing his jacket and running his hand through his hair. He leaves the office leaving both me and Fin on our own to complete our paperwork. 

About 15 minutes later, I get a call from Carisi.

“Hey Rollins, we’ve got a body on the beach and I need you to come down here. Is that alright with you, if not I’ll get Fin to come down?”

“Yeah I’m okay to come down, I’ll see you in about 15 minutes.” 

I fiddle with the radio trying to switch it off before my hand gently brushes against the plush seat of the police car. Clambering out of the car, my feet make contact with wet sand and I slam the car door shut. Trudging down the beach, my eyes meet with large numbers of NYPD figures and I cautiously continue my way down the beach. Not long after I finally reach the crime scene where I also meet Carisi. A dismembered figure lays sprawled out across the sand and my stomach flips. 

“Hey Amanda, this is our victim as I guess you've already seen.” He explains, shuddering. 

“Yeah, doesn’t look good.” I gulp, grimacing. 

“We are still looking for the left leg, CSU is looking in the sea for it as that’s where the body washed up from.” 

I fix my eyes upon the mangled body and begin to feel sick as a member of CSU begins walking up the beach towards us. 

“Cut off at the left thigh, not a lot of blood.” She states, lowering the body part wrapped in the dark plastic to the ground. 

As she places the body part amongst the sand, I gag and turn around in the opposite direction. 

“You guys got this, right?” I hear Carisi say behind me. 

“Yeah just give me a second.” I groan softly as I try to stop my insides from climbing up my throat. 

I jog towards the CSU tent which has all the correct equipment for testing for DNA and evidence. I make way round the back of the tent and just as I get there I bend over and throw up. 

"Oh easy, you okay?" Carisi questions as I continue to heave. 

Once I finish emptying my stomach, I slowly turn around to face Carisi. 

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm going to drive us back." I answer wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. He slowly nods and follows me back to the car.  

When we get back to the precinct I pull Carisi aside to talk to him about what happened at the beach. 

"Can we not mention what happened at the back to Liv?" I whisper to Carisi, patiently awaiting an answer.

"Nah dont worry about it, it's not for me to say but are you sure you are okay?" 

"Yeah I'm fine it was probaly something I ate." 

"Okay, it's just normally you are like two steps ahead of me and I've never seen you queasy at a crime scene."  

"Makes two of us." I laugh anxiously. 

We make our way to our desk and I resume the same sitting position as before I left. Not long after, Barba storms in demanding to talk to Liv. He walks into her office and he rants at her for about 5 minutes bekfre angrily stomping out her office and shouting at someone down the phone. 

"Someone needs a vacation."

"You cant blame him, we've all been swamped the last few days. Im clocking out now, what about you two?" Olivia asks both me and Carisi. 

"I'll walk Amanda out." Carisi smiles.

"Okay night guys, see you both tommorow." 

"Night liv." 

I grab my keys, coat and phone and walk aside Carisi. There is comfortable silence and every now and again my hand would gently brush his. 

"Carisi, can I tell you something. It's kinda personal but I need someone to say it to and-"

"Yes of course, you didnt even have to ask me, I'm always here for you." He says, smiling.

"Okay thank you, I think I'm pregnant. I mean I'm really tired and I've thrown up alot recently…."

"Well the big question I guess is when was your last period?" He asks, cheeks blushing slightly.

"Oh shit yeah, I forgot all about that. Fuck, I think I am pregnant…." 

"Okay first of all calm down, get a test tonight on the way home - that way you can be certain." He advises.

"You're right, you are so helpful and here is me panicking. Thank ou for talking to me about this, I'll see you tommorow. I'll let you know tommorow if thats okay." 

"Yeah that's fine Amanda, I'll see you tommorow." 

He gives me a big, meaningful hug before we part are own ways. I hoist myself into my car and make a quick stop by the shops too get a pregnancy test. When I get home, i put down some food down for Frannie and then go to the bathroom with the test in my hand. Setting an alarm, I wait for two minutes before I check.

Positive.